LOVE INTERRUPTED AND IGNITED
xStuck in the Center of a Love Triangle, I Must Choose Between Two Remarkable Men
So, I turn to my support system: my best friend forever
My husband, Adrian, has been super attentive for several weeks. I know he is doing everything he can to rekindle our passion. This morning, on the brink of Christmas Day, I received a notice to retrieve a package that I know is from Norm. I have this giddy feeling of excitement when I think of him. I am nervous and fearful of making a wrong decision.
Paralyzed by confusion, I need someone to talk with about my current situation.
My love,
I hope this letter finds you well. I have been feeling overwhelmed lately and could use your support and advice. There is a tricky situation in my heart that I need to talk through with you.
Would you join me for brunch next Saturday at our favorite spot? It would be a treat to catch up with all of you and get your perspective on my situation. I know it’ll be the eve of New Years Eve, but I need you.
Please let me know if you are available, and I will make the reservations. I hope you can make it, and I look forward to seeing you soon.
Sincerely,
Oorun
I press send in the email to Celie, my best friend.
Over the years, she has been steadfast in her loyalty and friendship. We have been out of touch for a long minute because, during the pandemic, she moved out of town and back home with her parents. She is a highly qualified software developer, and recently her company required that she come back into the office two days a week. I’m happy she’s back because I miss her so much!
I want to hear about how she’s been in real life and not, according to Instagram. And for my present situation, I also need her perspective. She’s a straight shooter and does not mince words.
At brunch the following Saturday, Celie seems overjoyed to see me and welcomes me with a warm hug.
The air is electric with love and friendship.
For the first hour and a half, we delight over our food, take lots of food pictures and selfies and catch up. Celie does most of the talking; I love that about her. Her stories and our laughs come so effortlessly. We got a few looks from the other people at tables in the restaurant. But we could not contain our joy.
“Gosh, I missed this,” I say, wiping my eyes.
Her laughter relaxed into a soft chuckle.
“So, Oorun, why are we meeting today?”
I exhale and lean back in the chair. I look down at my plate and push the last pieces of the fresh fruit dessert around the perimeter.
“Well,” I started, then stopped. Nodding my head, I continued, “I ran into an old one-night stand from about ten years ago and we ended up hooking up again. It was amazing, Celie.”
“It was like this spark lit inside of me. Our conversation, his whole being, was like a fire that I wanted to jump into and never come out of.”
“What?!” She looked at me incredulously. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“Oorun, you’re a happily married woman! This sounds crazy. Who is this guy? You describe the feeling as though you’re Oedipus. You know what happened to him, right?!”
“Norm,” I said, my heart heavy with guilt, “Norm is his name.”
“Celie, I know it’s crazy. But, when I am with him, I am so different. It was the same as when we first met. Norm and I seem in synch about what we want to do in this world — make our mark, help people, dominate in our fields — you know.”
“And, he’s the complete opposite of Adrian.”
Celie was shaking her head. “Your man is Adrian, Oorun, and he’s all about you and his son; he’s always been. What’s going on? You’re cheating on him? I can’t believe this.”
“I know, I know,” I say bitterly as I go silent.
I could not keep my mind’s eye from wandering back to Adrian, my husband. He’s been so good to me over the years, but I don’t feel connected to our relationship anymore.
“Celie, I’ve been on auto-pilot. Yes, I could go on like this and have a fine life. But honestly, I’ve been thinking about leaving Adrian.”
“Whoa, Oorun, that’s a big decision. Have you talked to him about this?”
I looked up at my friend, raised my eyebrows and with a crooked, sad smile on my face, I said, “Yeah, he found out and we had a huge non-fight. He left the house and went to the gym where I work out.” I paused before adding, “And by chance, he met Norm there.”
“What!? Girl, this is some dramatic sugar-honey-ice-tea!” She was laughing madly now. “This does not even seem like your life, Oorun. You two always seemed so calm and content — happy.”
“Celie, he’s devastated and I feel so guilty. But, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m making a mistake by staying with him. Adrian is a good man, faithful, and provides for us, but I’m just not happy in this marriage anymore.”
My friend leans back in her chair. She shoves her hands in her pockets.
She looks at me carefully and says, “I understand that you’re not happy, but have you tried talking to your husband about it and trying to work things out? Maybe it’s just a phase you’re going through and you can reignite the spark in your relationship.”
The waiter comes then; I look around and realize that the restaurant is almost empty.
Picking up my phone to look, I see it’s 3:15 in the afternoon.
“Celie, we’ve been here for two hours, girl.”
“I don’t know why you’re surprised. This is us.”
We laugh, but silence descends again.
“I’ve tried, Celie, but it feels like we’re going through the motions again. It’s strange. Adrian does not want to talk about it. These days, he’s needing us to spend time together, and do things together — he schedules everything. He’s being charming, but our interactions seem forced and artificial, to be honest.”
He’s acting as if nothing has happened.
“Some days, I feel like I can go along with everything. I know many people will think I’m lucky and may think I’m selfish and ungrateful. I feel that way about myself, too.”
My eyes are welling up. She nods, searching my eyes.
“I get it, Oorun, but leaving a stable and faithful relationship for a one-night stand from the past isn’t the answer. It’s not fair to your husband, and it’s not fair to you.”
“You need to think about the long-term consequences of your actions. What if this old flame doesn’t work out, and you’re left with nothing? You have a lot to lose. And, believe me, a single person’s life has its own set of challenges. I suspect it’s even more difficult for a single mother after over fifteen years of marriage.”
“I’ve been married for seventeen years, Celie.” Suddenly, I felt defensive and a little angry. “Look, I’m trying to figure this out.”
“I don’t want to hurt Adrian. In my heart, I love and care about him, but is it so wrong that I don’t want to settle for a life that doesn’t make me happy and fulfilled? I can’t shake this feeling that I am not whole.”
Celie leans forward. She knows that I’m feeling cornered. Her gaze softens, and she changes her harsh tone.
“I hear what you are saying, Oorun. Maybe it’s time to get some professional help and try to work through these feelings healthily. Don’t make a hasty decision that you’ll regret later. I think your marriage is worth fighting for, love.”
Actually, I had not thought about that.
“Do you know any good therapists in the area?”
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