Struggling With The Concept of “You Get What You Deserve”

How should we view the deaths of an anti-masker from the coronavirus?

Joe Duncan. got me thinking. He wrote an excellent article regarding his feelings about anti-maskers who die of the coronavirus.

Joe balances the subject well. His response is multi-dimensional and personal. He’s not piling onto the ridicule of these people from other sources and is certainly not lacking in compassion. His response is honest and thoughtful, and thought-provoking and made me want to write through my feelings as I explored them.

Many of us struggle with these thoughts of anger when we hear people who encourage people not to use masks, encourage congregating in groups, and put down all of the other ideas to stop the spread of this virus. They not only decide for themselves, but they also influence others to do the same.

Many of us who are maskers have felt the cynical or sympathetic or even hostile looks from people who think we are being led astray by who most I have encountered simply call “the liberals.” I guess all scientists are liberals now? Hmmm. I’m not sure why there is anger there, but I have felt it.

Some strangers have even made snide comments on the order of “Do you really think you’re protecting yourself?” to which I respond, “No, I’m protecting you.”

If they want to travel further with that conversation, I’m ready to go.

Many people aren’t confrontational and don’t respond well to those taunts at all. Some have told me it’s embarrassing for them, or it makes them feel very conspicuous. Their feelings are akin to a sweet child being picked on for a reason that neither makes sense or is appropriate. As adults, why would we bully people for trying to protect other people and themselves? Why would someone care if other people are masking?

My state of North Carolina has a masking requirement that many of our law enforcement officers are not only not enforcing, but are publicly not enforcing. The sheriff of my county has been very vocal about this. He believes it is unconstitutional and unenforceable.

This defiance raises the question — at what point did it become the job of law enforcement officers to decide whether laws and mandates are constitutional?

I agree that enforcing this mandate to a high degree is probably not realistic with limited department resources, but to feel the need to announce they will not attempt to enforce it publicly? I believe it is irresponsible, and it makes me angry. Public servants should care about their community and should be silent if they disagree unless a law or mandate can cause harm to the community.

There are a lot of reasons I get angry with anti-maskers. They put my 82-year-old mother at risk. She is in the early stages of dementia, but lives by herself and still drives. We can’t get her to stay home. It’s worse than having a teenager. But many of us understand why she feels the need to escape her home. I wish our community would try to help protect people like her.

Non-maskers keep the spread going, holding some of my immunocompromised friends as virtual prisoners at home until a vaccine proves successful or herd immunity happens. Maybe I should thank them for increasing herd immunity. I would if their lack of masking only put them at risk.

I was downtown on Friday night, and a lot of people were there. My small group of friends scored an outdoor table where we comfortably distanced from others. I even felt comfortable with the distance among my friends as we ate and drank, especially since we were outdoors.

When I went into the local brewery to buy a drink, however, there were only two of us wearing masks, me and one brewery employee. The brewery did a great job making sure that they did not overcrowd, however. When a rainstorm hit, we took shelter indoors, and they asked us to leave because they were over their allowed capacity. Was I mad? No. I was through drinking and happy they cared enough about the brewery patrons to enforce the requirement, even in a downpour.

Will I feel any pleasure if the unmasked others in that brewery die from the coronavirus? No, but I will feel an extra measure of pity for them. I believe they are victims of a few things that complicate the issue.

• Masking has become a political issue. Why? I wish we’d let public health officials take control instead of non-compliant politicians, obviously uneducated on the subject. For some reason, mask-wearing has become a symbol of our political beliefs.
• We have all kinds of ways to exercise our freedoms. I’m a rebel. I revel in them. But why is this the current favorite freedom of some? I love freedom and apply it to quite a full extent. I believe freedom changes when public health and safety are at stake, though. When I knowingly risk your health, that oversteps my freedom.
• People are quite uncomfortable these days when any information is proven wrong. Instead of asking why it happened, or what specific points are wrong, they assume all data on that subject is wrong. I often hear people say, “ Tomorrow they will just say what they said yesterday was all wrong, and they will tell us masks protect no one.” Maybe, but will that matter? How has it hurt you? And what if they’re right? One of the great things about science, and coronavirus science, in particular, is that it does change daily. Untold numbers of people are studying COVID-19 in multiple disciplines, and we are learning new things about it all the time. Watching science in action at lightning speed should be considered amazing, not discouraging.
• We’ve never lived in a pandemic of this magnitude. People are trying to normalize something that is not normal.
• It’s understandable to” want your life back.” How many people in tragic or uncomfortable circumstances feel this way? Many people seem to believe if they live their life as they did pre-pandemic, they can avoid the realities it brings. No, you can’t. The world as we knew it changed.
• People experience their first mask-wearing encounter and believe wearing the mask will always feel the same way. It doesn’t. I was very uncomfortable with a mask at first. They seemed to suffocate me. They made me anxious. I felt as though all eyes were on me as I walked around town. The more I wear it; it is a non-issue. Start by slowly wearing one around your home and increase the time gradually to become more comfortable in it, and you will ease the discomfort and anxiety. I sometimes forget I am wearing mine now. I never thought that would happen.
• Some who feel anxious about wearing a mask handle their anxiety not by expressing that anxiety or looking for solutions, but by becoming vocal anti-maskers. Because they are nervous about wearing them, they want to create a buzz, so others don’t wear them either. They don’t want to be alone.
• People believe a large number of conditions negate the need for wearing a mask. Medical experts say that is not true, and in most instances, those people who cannot wear masks should be staying home.

Like Joe, it bothers me when people who chose to expose themselves and others to the virus take resources from people who did everything to avoid catching this disease. It bothers me that people with non-life-threatening, but uncomfortable, conditions have had to put off procedures to ease their pain. It bothers me that my friend could not see her son, who was at the point of death from carbon monoxide poisoning, because of hospital restrictions due to the coronavirus. It bothers me that people who are sick with diseases like cancer have to be that extra measure of care so they don’t add this complication to an already compromised immune system.

But yet I also believe that we should not be concerned as to why someone gets a disease when they need treatment. Most medical professionals ascribe to that theory, and I salute them. When a patient, why they got the condition doesn’t matter.

But when these vocal anti-maskers die, it gets complicated. As I have thought about this, I realize I mostly feel sorry for those who were vocally against it and lose their life from this horrible virus. I suspect, in most instances, it was their fear drove their position or their ignorance. Was their peer group encouraging their thoughts? Probably. That’s sad.

I also believe we need to acknowledge the truth. We need to share what their position was before their death and be public about the reason for their death. I will always remember the story of the pastor in Virginia Beach, who held packed services against public health recommendations. He said,

”’I firmly believe that God is larger than this dreaded virus. You can quote me on that, ’ he said, repeating it a second time to claps, saying that ’people are healed’ in his church.”

God chose that as the time to allow his life and ministry on this earth to end.

I also believe God is bigger than this virus, but God allows consequences for our actions. We were given a brain and put on earth with a population that includes science and health care specialists for a reason. We need to use the resources that God has given us well and make appropriate decisions.

I believe God smiles when he sees people are working together to find an end to this virus and people are caring for those in their community who have it or are in isolation.

”Fools have no desire to learn; they would much rather give their own opinion.” Proverbs 18:2 (CEV)

I will not rejoice at the death of someone from this disease due to their ignorance, but we must talk about it. We must acknowledge it. We must learn from it. I also will not support those who live, but whose spouting lies and lack of acknowledgment of advice from professionals have taken lives within their sphere.

People deal with tragedies the way they do for all kinds of different reasons. I admit I have lost my compassion a time or two. I need to keep that in check.

I also admit that my actions are far from perfect. I do mask, but sometimes forget to put it on. I am laxer when I am outside and among friends and family. It’s a constant battle. But I keep myself engaged in that battle and am always self-evaluating.

No one deserves this virus, but many of us are putting ourselves at risk every day. As someone who is trying but not perfect, I encourage you to help me get better at it. I’ll try to do the same for you.

Just in case, I will state publicly my fellow writers may write about me if I die from this virus. If my stupidity can ever help others, you must use it for that purpose. Though for your sake, be not only truthful but kind. Don’t let this disease rob you of your humanity. Never let compassion leave your writing.

And thanks again, Joe. It’s always good to read an article that makes you think in many different directions.