Stronger Now

This is entirely fictional, though it was born from long-held misunderstanding.

Could I have said something? I’m sure I must have tried Before I dodged the blow That always seemed to come Whenever they fought, which Was like the sunrise.

But, being six, I was Small, and quicker than him, So some days I saw it Like a game, those days I Ducked his raving madness And then led him away.

Other days were not such Fun. On those days I just stood And knew, better me than Her, because she was still Too young to understand It wasn’t personal.

I was angry mama Left us with him, thinking He wouldn’t do to us The things he did to her. We were babies back then But it didn’t matter.

There was no one to hear His mad furies nor heed Our cries, and lost among The chickens and the pigs, But the dog was a good Listener, and he knew.

I don’t know how, but on That worst day, my back to His endless kicks as I Pretended to be her Shield, it was the dog who Made him finally stop.

As my senses left me, I caught a blur, or thought I did, and while too late At least for me, with the Darkness came sweet music, A melody of screams.

Life improved with strangers, My bed, mine alone and My sister safe next door. I never knew what was his Fate, nor had a care to When the nightmares faded.

Mama’s betrayal stayed With me more so than her. I swore I’d never look For her, but then I did. Aching for answers, my Anger pressed me to it.

We found her faced away From the diner’s window, Alone and apart, as If she could hide her shame, But today she would be Held to account by me.

As I drew out a chair She turned her face away, Said nothing when I sat. Then I named myself And witnessed her release A lifetime’s worth of grief.

‘My wounds were so severe,’ She said, ‘And slow to heal. I was too late when I Returned, the farm lifeless, Haunted by memories And my babies long gone.

‘They told me you yet lived, But forbid me contact For my abandonment.’ My rage, ripe and ready Choked in my throat when she Surrendered her secrets.

One profile I dreamt of A nightmare, the other, Bashed and blind and broken, A portrait of violence, His legacy rendered And never forgotten.

‘Forgive me,’ I sobbed, ‘For Despising you these years.’ She reached across and took My hand. ‘Only if you Can forgive me,’ she said. I nodded through my tears.

Wiping my eyes, I stood. ‘Will you leave me now?’ ‘Never again,’ I said As my sister joined us. ‘Once again united, We will be stronger now.’

Here is a short work by Leah Lynch