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f twenty years. She was physically abused by him. They fought every weekend. I would wake up from a dead sleep with her in the bed with the rest of us, holding my baby brother and hollering back at him. I remember one time she said she hit him in the head with a coffee cup when he started in on her.She grew up an only child but ended up having eight kids and a drunkard husband and no financial stability.She apparently was very tired of him drinking and gambling his paycheck away when he had such a big family. We went without food a lot or we had a staple of fried potatoes and white beans, daily. Somehow on Sundays we ate better than any other day of the week. We also moved a lot because they could not pay the rent.There was a lot of stress in my life. I remember sitting in my high chair shaking my hands in front of me while there were people around hollering. I hate hollering and arguing. It sets off alarms in my body. I leave.<h2 id="ba46">Life Stressors</h2>As life goes on there are many stressors in many circumstances. Take child birth for instance. Men don’t have this stress. They may be in the room but . . . I really don’t think I need to say anything more. There are life stresses of being a woman.There are also life stresses of being a man. Physical strength, sexual viability, being married and a good provider, having a job, etc. These are heterosexual stresses and I know there are more besides my viewpoint. No offense to anyone.The planet is full of stressors to keep us in this predicament. Apparently, life does not continue when there is no stress. I think that I have had only a few years without stress in my life. I know how it feels. Then, life happens again.They say there are ways to handle all the stress. You can exercise and meditate, read, write, walk, cook, bake, ride a bike, jog, be with friends and family, party and have a good time, laugh, sing, drugs, alcohol, anything to make it move away for awhile, but to me these things only set it aside.They may cause other hormones to take over and dissolve or overcome the stress hormone cortisol. The question is can you keep doing this all the time. It seems to me it would be exhausting, being a person that doesn’t move around that much. I cope by putting it into a little box for later if at all possible. Some stresses can’t be contained.Some stresses are there constantly, such as, being in an abusive relationship, narcissistic family members, unre

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asonable bosses, financial overwhelm, etc. In some situations they are there everyday.You go along and suddenly find you have high blood pressure, migraines, have car accidents or near misses, overwhelmed in every situation. Then it’s time for doctors and therapy. You feel somebody else has to help with this because you can’t do it alone anymore.<h2 id="61b4">Coping Skills</h2>I started going to therapy because the management changed where I worked. I had been there for eight years and had to prove myself again to a newish manager. I say newish because he had been there eight years as well but was an associate/manager, not a support person.No way. It left me powerless and I knew I was going to be let go or asked to do much more than I was comfortable with. I was the Office Manager and kept the office organized and the workflow running smoothly.I was a single mom with twin boys in elementary school. Somebody was crazy and it wasn’t me.No matter what I did, it was not good enough anymore. By then I was sixty and needed the job. I was good at it, but it did wear on me after awhile, I won’t lie.I called a therapist and told her my situation. She agreed that I needed help and we set up a time a meet. Ultimately, I would go at least once a week. I spouted and she listened. She helped me with coping skills and it seemed things got easier so I decided, after two years, to stop going. I also decided to move and leave the job.I found out they were going to tack more work onto what I was already doing, which I knew I couldn’t and didn’t want to do. It would have increased my stress level from heavy to enormous. They wanted to kill me off with added outrageous responsibility or force me to leave. That did it. Resigned and moved to another state.I still suffer from stress but I can see it coming now. It comes and goes. It does not stick around anymore and is not an everyday thing. At sixty-nine you don’t need that constant crap on your shoulders from anyone that doesn’t respect you. Respect or not, no!Jo Ann Harris is an author, parent, book devotee, writer, copywriter, and film fanatic. She is an autodidact who learns about everything on her own. She grew up and worked in Atlanta, Georgia and lived there sixty years. She writes articles about love, hope, personal life stories, advice and poems. She is a published author with an article in Woman’s World magazine in October 2017.</article></body>

STRESS!

What it does to your mind and body and how to stop it!

Stress can transform you and you will never notice until someone points it out. This may well cause more stress since you feel you can’t change it.

Common Effects of Stress

Common effects of stress on your body: headache, muscle tension or pain, chest pain, fatigue, change in sex drive, stomach upset, sleep problems, strange blood clots in the eye, irritable bowel symptoms, dental problems from clenching your jaw.

Common effects of stress on your mood: anxiety, restlessness, lack of motivation or focus, feeling overwhelmed, irritability or anger, sadness or depression, paranoia.

Common effects of stress on your behavior: Overeating or under-eating, angry outbursts, drug and alcohol misuse, social withdrawal, exercising less often, feeling detached from reality.

I have suffered all of these symptoms in one form or another my whole life. It’s a wonder that I am still sane. I can list all the circumstances, but there are so many and we don’t have the time.

Majorly, it’s circumstances you have no control over. You try, but there is some thing, person, predicament that just holds you back. To explain this it could be the way you were raised and if there was ever any positivity in your life growing up. Some of us never had any.

I have a friend that had a wonderful childhood growing up in Colombia, taking his horse and friends out camping, unsupervised for a weekend. He was only eleven. How can that be? He had so much freedom.

He would tell me about their beautiful house and inside patios and gardens. His mother was the one who cared for him the most and kept him on the straight and narrow. He is very deep and kind.

Personally

To compare, when I was eleven, my Dad had been dead for a year. My family of six lived in a small, three-bedroom, townhouse apartment in Atlanta. My mom was constantly dealing with debt my father left. She had no idea about the debt before since he paid the bills. All I heard on the phone was her response, “well he’s dead. I don’t have anything to do with that. Leave me alone.” That was before harassing calls from creditors were against the law.

She had stress her entire marriage of twenty years. She was physically abused by him. They fought every weekend. I would wake up from a dead sleep with her in the bed with the rest of us, holding my baby brother and hollering back at him. I remember one time she said she hit him in the head with a coffee cup when he started in on her.

She grew up an only child but ended up having eight kids and a drunkard husband and no financial stability.

She apparently was very tired of him drinking and gambling his paycheck away when he had such a big family. We went without food a lot or we had a staple of fried potatoes and white beans, daily. Somehow on Sundays we ate better than any other day of the week. We also moved a lot because they could not pay the rent.

There was a lot of stress in my life. I remember sitting in my high chair shaking my hands in front of me while there were people around hollering. I hate hollering and arguing. It sets off alarms in my body. I leave.

Life Stressors

As life goes on there are many stressors in many circumstances. Take child birth for instance. Men don’t have this stress. They may be in the room but . . . I really don’t think I need to say anything more. There are life stresses of being a woman.

There are also life stresses of being a man. Physical strength, sexual viability, being married and a good provider, having a job, etc. These are heterosexual stresses and I know there are more besides my viewpoint. No offense to anyone.

The planet is full of stressors to keep us in this predicament. Apparently, life does not continue when there is no stress. I think that I have had only a few years without stress in my life. I know how it feels. Then, life happens again.

They say there are ways to handle all the stress. You can exercise and meditate, read, write, walk, cook, bake, ride a bike, jog, be with friends and family, party and have a good time, laugh, sing, drugs, alcohol, anything to make it move away for awhile, but to me these things only set it aside.

They may cause other hormones to take over and dissolve or overcome the stress hormone cortisol. The question is can you keep doing this all the time. It seems to me it would be exhausting, being a person that doesn’t move around that much. I cope by putting it into a little box for later if at all possible. Some stresses can’t be contained.

Some stresses are there constantly, such as, being in an abusive relationship, narcissistic family members, unreasonable bosses, financial overwhelm, etc. In some situations they are there everyday.

You go along and suddenly find you have high blood pressure, migraines, have car accidents or near misses, overwhelmed in every situation. Then it’s time for doctors and therapy. You feel somebody else has to help with this because you can’t do it alone anymore.

Coping Skills

I started going to therapy because the management changed where I worked. I had been there for eight years and had to prove myself again to a newish manager. I say newish because he had been there eight years as well but was an associate/manager, not a support person.

No way. It left me powerless and I knew I was going to be let go or asked to do much more than I was comfortable with. I was the Office Manager and kept the office organized and the workflow running smoothly.

I was a single mom with twin boys in elementary school. Somebody was crazy and it wasn’t me.

No matter what I did, it was not good enough anymore. By then I was sixty and needed the job. I was good at it, but it did wear on me after awhile, I won’t lie.

I called a therapist and told her my situation. She agreed that I needed help and we set up a time a meet. Ultimately, I would go at least once a week. I spouted and she listened. She helped me with coping skills and it seemed things got easier so I decided, after two years, to stop going. I also decided to move and leave the job.

I found out they were going to tack more work onto what I was already doing, which I knew I couldn’t and didn’t want to do. It would have increased my stress level from heavy to enormous. They wanted to kill me off with added outrageous responsibility or force me to leave. That did it. Resigned and moved to another state.

I still suffer from stress but I can see it coming now. It comes and goes. It does not stick around anymore and is not an everyday thing. At sixty-nine you don’t need that constant crap on your shoulders from anyone that doesn’t respect you. Respect or not, no!

Jo Ann Harris is an author, parent, book devotee, writer, copywriter, and film fanatic. She is an autodidact who learns about everything on her own. She grew up and worked in Atlanta, Georgia and lived there sixty years. She writes articles about love, hope, personal life stories, advice and poems. She is a published author with an article in Woman’s World magazine in October 2017.