Stranded on a School Roof Scared to Death
Nowhere to escape, a plethora of emotions experienced
“We’re gonna die up here!” wailed Greg Rose.
Greg was panicked, perched atop the roof of the Fredonia Elementary School where he stood terrified along with myself and fellow fourth-graders, Andy Wheelock and Robby Bender, on October 5, 1977.
It started innocently when Mr. Lucas asked — what we thought — would be a boring trip to grab some dictionaries. Little did we know at the time we were going to experience something we would never forget.
To get to the teacher supply room, we had to — after unlocking the door — climb a flight of 30-something stairs, and open another door. We bolted up the stairs like it was a Disneyland ride with no line.
Robby twisted the doorknob and flicked the light switch. Rows and rows of textbooks and workbooks. And only one dimly-lit light bulb.
We scattered in different directions.
What’s behind door №1?
“Whoa, this is wicked. Come here quick,” hollered Robby.
Andy, Greg, and I scampered like playful puppies, pushing each other eagerly to be the first to get to Robby, who stood like a magician ready to dazzle his audience.
In dramatic fashion, Robby — again — slowly twisted the doorknob, gave us a Grinch-like grin, did a silent countdown with his fingers, then shoved the door open.
“Tah-dah!”
We gasped in disbelief and stared in awe at the school’s roof, which as far as they could see was a vast, pond-like black top.
Triple dog dare
“I dare you Gregory Richard Rose to go out one step,” taunted Robby.
“No way,” said Greg.
“Pussy!” Robby yelled. “Well, Greg, at least hold the door so us real men can explore this new found world. Mike, Andy, care to join me?”
Andy, Greg, and I did our best Neil Armstrong impression and courageously claimed the elementary school roof. We smiled with the utmost admiration, feeling like we had accomplished the most amazing feat on Earth.
Robby threw a fake touchdown pass to Andy, who performed a spot-on Billy “White Shoes” Johnson touchdown dance — knees knocking and moving his hands back and forth like windshield wipers.
I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes, tilting my head back and then clutching my sore ribs.
Greg shyly peeked his head out the door.
Curiosity mounts
“Let’s race,” I shouted. “I can beat both you guys.”
“No way, buttfaces,” responded Robby. “Rosey, you be the judge, ok?”
While we engaged in a profanity-laden, smack-talk session over who was the fastest runner, Greg slowly put one foot onto the roof like a toddler stepping into a pool. He then dragged his other foot, still clutching the iron door with his sweaty palm.
I am Superman
Once Greg stepped out, he loved the thrill, closed his eyes, and laughed at how much fun the experience was. He stood there and pretended to pop open his imaginary buttoned shirt, closed his hands into fists, placed them on his hips, then struck a Superman pose.
And accidentally let go of the door.
It resoundingly slammed behind Greg.
And locked.
The playful arguing and cussing ceased. We all jerked our heads around.
Shocked. Panicked. Scared.
We were stranded. Tears immediately came flowing out of Greg’s eyes as he began banging aimlessly on the poor defenseless steel door.
The sound of silence
It had been two hours since the door slammed shut. We sat in a circle. All except Robby, who instead was lying down with his hands behind his head as if he were sunning at the beach.
Greg nervously flipped pebbles with his thumb. Andy tossed pebbles playfully at me, who proceeded to slap them in the air.
The school was on a separate private road without much traffic. Vehicles drove by sporadically. A green gremlin. A brown station wagon. A yellow VW bug. No one spotted us.
Pondering the paddle
“Do you think Mr. Bernard is gonna use that paddle hanging behind his desk on us?” Greg asked.
“Not if Bigfoot comes and eats us first,” Andy chuckled.
The once fluffy cloud had disappeared. The sky darkened and large drops of raindrops plunked on our heads.
“God has quite a sense of humor,” quipped Robby.
‘Might as well jump’
“What if we jump?” I stupidly suggested peering over the edge. “It couldn’t be more than 20 feet.”
“You’re insane,” barked Greg. “We’d either die or in the best case scenario break both our legs. There is no way I am jumping.”
Robby peered over at Greg and made the most obnoxious chicken clucking imitation I’d ever heard in my life.
All of a sudden, Andy’s mood changed. His face turned ghost white.
Happy Days and stolen chocolate
“Shit! We’ve been up here forever,” Andy said. “What are we going to do? What is my mom going to say? I may never eat again?”
“I just hope we get home for ‘Happy Days,’ ” I joked.
“Anybody wants a Marathon bar,” chimed in Greg with a sheepish grin.
“Rosey, where in the fuck did you get that?” demanded Robby.
“Lucas’ desk,” Greg answered. “It was for this week’s Star Student, but I couldn’t resist.”
“Far out, Rosey. Shit! I Never thought you had it in you,” said Robby.
Having to piss
Robby chewed on and cherished the very last ounce of chocolate and caramel, first licking his lips, then licking each finger methodically. Then he realized his next problem, wiggled both legs uncontrollably, touched his stomach, grimaced, and announced, “I have to pee.”
“Where?” Andy asked.
“Dunno dickweeds, somewhere behind that shitty white supply-looking thing we came out of.”
Ten minutes passed. The three of us chatted about our current girl crushes, the upcoming World Series, and our favorite Brady Bunch episode.
“Robby has been gone a long time,” Andy said.
“Let’s go look for him,” I added.
Walking in unison, we came to the corner of the storage shed and slowly peeked around. Robby Bender was on his knees. His hands locked tight, eyes closed, head bowed, praying, crying, and cursing.
Finding religion
“Dear Lord, I know I’ve never approached you before, but I’m fucking scared. If you can get us out of this shitty mess, I swear I will quit being an asshole. I’m sorry for my shitty behavior. I’m scared shitless.”
Greg couldn’t handle it anymore and let out a half laugh, half snort.
“Far out, Bender!” Greg yelled. “Crying, cussing, and praying?”
“Don’t be a dick,” Robby responded, jumping up from his holy position. “Ain’t none of you saying shit about this, you hear. Or, I’ll kick all three of your asses.”
Voice of God?
Then came the voice of God. Or, so it felt.
“Hello? Andy? Robby? Mike? Greg?” You guys up here?”
Never had Mr. Lucas’ kind gentle voice been so soothing. It was as if the clouds had opened and Jesus had appeared. We were just about to rush towards Mr. Lucas when Robby grabbed mine and Andy’s arms, stared intently at Greg, and said. “This was the best damn adventure ever, but remember it stays with the four of us.”
“The rooftop gang forever,” Andy responded.
Roof reflecting
As I reflect back, it was our Stand by Me, we grew closer than we had been before, learned about each other’s emotions we didn’t know existed, and swore — literally — to never speak of either Greg’s constant crying or Robbie’s conversation with God.
Thanks for reading.
Tagging peeps who’d hang out with on a roof: Scot Butwell, Sreese, Lu Skerdoo, MarkfromBoston 🐾🍻, Sarah Jean, Adelina Vasile, Scott Younkin, Ruby Lee, Klara Jane Holloway, Evon
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