Violence Women

Stopping Violence Against Women

How far does one have to go to stop it?

So lately I’ve been far too tough on myself and I don’t think the pandemic helps. Why would I start writing about that? Well, I live across the street from an elementary school and I walk my dogs along the fenced yard of the school. The school’s janitor is always around and when I see him, I always have that eerie feeling about him. He’s always throwing me sexist comments and I don’t even know him. The lengthiest interaction I have had with him was saying: Good morning! And I’d answer the same thing back and go on my own business. When he saw that he got my attention he threw some sexist remark, something on the terms of: “Hey, I wouldn’t mind a f&%k with you if you had a minute!” I, however, ignored him and my first response was to go to the principal of the school. I have not. These comments occurred too often and I dismissed every one of them until they were raunchier and during the school recess, he would say lewd things with little kids playing around him in the schoolyard.

“Not all men practice violence against women but all women live with the threat of male violence every single day. All over the Earth.” ― Fuad Alakbarov

Violence against women has been around forever. How does one stop this? How far does one have to go to stop it? Will anyone listen?

I said to the janitor, I have ignored you for over a year only because of your remarks, do you know I have the right to go to the police and complain about you? He laughed, saying: what is the big deal? My luck was that the school guard saw and heard him this time and told me that she would talk to him. I told her it was not the first time and that I should not have to feel uncomfortable walking in front of my house. The school year has just begun so I had some peace during the pandemic when the schools were closed.

The United Nations defines violence against women as “any act of gender-based violence that results in, or is likely to result in, physical, sexual, or mental harm or suffering to women, including threats of such acts, coercion or arbitrary deprivation of liberty, whether occurring in public or private life.”

Global estimates published by WHO indicate that about 1 in 3 (35%) of women worldwide have experienced either physical and/or sexual intimate partner violence or non-partner sexual violence in their lifetime.

“One in three women may suffer from abuse and violence in her lifetime. This is an appalling human rights violation, yet it remains one of the invisible and under-recognized pandemics of our time.” — Nicole Kidman

The scope of the problem is not just local, it is global. By Local, I mean wherever you live. It doesn’t discriminate. “Catcalls”, whistles, touching, pushing, or whatever their desire does not stop and as this man, most don’t even understand what is wrong with what they are doing?

So much has been written about violence against women and just as I sit to write this there is a documentary on TV on the same subject. Does it have to be so intense? Where have we gone wrong? Do we have to look over our shoulders every time we go out?

Unfortunately, I was beginning to think that this a mental block on my part but I see that I am not alone. I should not have to feel any guilt. That is where society has gone wrong. This has got to stop. Some say that women should not dress provocatively! What is provocative? I am a far cry from dressing that way. I am a t-shirt and jeans type dresser, but that should not be an excuse. I have the right to dress the way I want to. I live in a modern society where freedom of speech and freedom of dress is not a problem and even so, no one has the right to make me feel uncomfortable walking down the street and no one should use their manipulation to make anyone feel uncomfortable.

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Orit Rindner is a writer, tour operator, and mom of 3 four-legged bitches living in Israel. You can find her on Facebook and Instagram.