Stop Trying To Fit In A Society You Don’t Belong
The world today is hard. Very hard. And I mean, not you can eat it, but the way we treat each other. It is difficult sometimes. Not for me only, but I believe for a lot of people. To which group do I really belong? Do I want to belong to a certain group? And to what group do I want to belong?
Of course, you have to be yourself. That is the best you can do. I also see people who are influenced by their friends. If your friend asked you to shop with her to get a dress for a party she is going to, you go along with her as you also like shopping. But your friend saw a beautiful dress for you. A dress you never will wear. Your friend convinced you to buy that dress. In the first place, that dress was more than you can spend and second of all you don’t like this dress. But you didn’t want to disappoint your friend. You also went to that party the dress was for. A party you actually didn’t like to go to, but as once again, you were influenced by your friend. Again, you didn’t want to disappoint your friend. Slowly you get into a group you don’t like and you become someone your wasn’t before.
Lately, I read, see and hear a lot about being someone you actually are not. As said, we all can be influenced by other people, but how often do we stay ourselves? Do we really be ourselves? Or when someone has a firm opinion that you agreed on, but you really didn’t agree? In that case, you are not being actually yourself, but reacting as someone else, someone from that particular group you don’t want to belong anymore.
Actually, it is the same as how someone is behaving towards other people. If I was (which I’m not) living a luxurious life, having a boat and a villa with items from the best (what is best?) interior designers and go to parties with people with the same lifestyle, then I belong to this group. I will then act the same as all the other people in this society. It is like mirroring the others in the group. Compare it to animals. They are doing it all the time.
I’m playing the violin, a lot, and I’ve done that in the past a lot, I belong to the group musicians. Because I have so many people around me doing the same. Playing in the same orchestra.
When you have parents, they are parenting you, but they belong to the parenting group. Within this parenting-group, you have parents who are rich and have children going to private schools, but also parents who are poor and have children going to general school. So, within a group, you have subgroups.
In this world we created, people put other people in the same kind of “box”, people who are thinking the same, behave the same, repeat after each other opinions about topics they talk about — which may not be their opinion. They repeat after each other to belong in a certain group.
Maybe you said that opinion because you want to belong in a certain group or you were afraid that people didn’t want to see you any more if you disagree with their opinion or you might not belong to that group, but it doesn’t matter if these opinions don’t fit with your needs, ideas, behavior or anything else.
It’s a shame. It is a shame because you will lose your own identity. An identity you should keep. It is your voice in life. A spoken or written voice you should definitely keep.
These groups are called society. You belong to a society. People do or don’t belong to societies. It is the way the world works. You want to belong to a certain society and you act upon that. You act like the others in that society. It is like labeling a disease or something like that.
You have given your time and energy to that particular group. But you realize you don’t belong in that group after all. The people are nice, but you don’t like the attitude. Did you think that in the first place? Or have you got into this group by accident? Who knows, but the thing is that you have to get out there as soon as you realize you don’t belong there before you become unhappy or get stressed out.
I just want to say that we don’t always have to belong to a society we don’t want to belong to. Mostly, we are willing to step in a certain society because we want to belong in that particular society as it looks amazing from the outside. Or you got into that, because of your job or friends are there in you. If you feel it’s the right move, you’ve followed your heart. If you don’t belong there, you can still follow your heart.
Agnes Laurens is a writer. She writes for the local newspaper. Agnes lives in Bunnik, The Netherlands, with her husband and three daughters. Writing is — aside from playing the violin — one of her passions since childhood. She is on Twitter and Instagram.
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