Stop Trying to Be the Best and Start Focusing on Being Better Instead

Choosing the power of growth over the limitations of being the best

I wouldn’t be too far off if I guessed you, like me, want to be the best at something, right? But life keeps beating the hell out of you along the way, and no matter how much you try, you never feel quite good enough, quite accomplished enough, or worthy enough, or capable enough, or…or…or…whatever enough. Right?

That’s all bullshit.

And what’s more, even when you reach that cherished goal and you become the top of the ticket, the best of the best, you still can’t have a dadgum moment of peace, can you? Now you’ve gotta fight to keep that cherished spot. Before you got there you had to claw to get to it, now you have to claw to keep it. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the paradox and struggle of success.

It’s also the heartbeat behind this piece.

Mantra

A personal mantra, and the inspiration behind this article, that I frequently write down in my journal goes like this:

Not my best, better.

I noticed recently that I tend to jot this down when times are a bit more challenging. It’s become a reliable guide for me, through good times and especially bad, and I hope and suspect, it might become the same for you.

“Best” is a limitation

First things first, the idea of “best” is a lot like the idea of perfection. Perfection, however, is a lie, but being the best at something is entirely possible…just not permanent. And it can become a severe limitation on your potential.

Here’s what I mean: When you’re the best, you’re the top of the ticket. But you’re also the target. Someone will always come along and take that spot from you. It’s not a matter of if, just a matter of when. If all you focus on is being the best, you’re going to have to fight for it, and fight to keep it.

But there is a better way (pun possibly meant).

“Better” focuses on growth

When you focus on being better, you’re setting yourself up for a state of growth. Best doesn’t become the goal nearly so much as a measure of its progress. Best become a benchmark for how you’re doing and is still a serious accomplishment worth celebrating when you earn that position. It remains and ought to remain part of your effort.

But remember, being the best should become a goal, but not the only goal.

Focusing on being better is a promise for practice, an ambition to endeavor, and a mind shift in how you measure your progress against constantly adapting and more challenging goals. It pushes you to never settle, even for being the best, because you can and should always be striving for more.

This is why focusing on being better beats being the best.

The power of choosing growth

When you choose to focus on growth, you’re expanding your opportunities to meet and excel your absolute greatest potential. You’re effectively telling yourself and the Universe that you know you’re just a seed waiting for a little water and rich soil to grow in. You’re saying you know you have what it takes…always. Even when you accomplish your goals.

Growth isn’t just a mindset, it’s a lifestyle.

And when you accomplish those goals, focusing on growth means you hit pause only long enough to figure out what your next goal should be. And truth is, when you’re driven by growth, you’ve probably already sat down and worked out what those next goals should and could look like long before you even get close to reaching the first ones.

Growth is where it’s at.

Next Steps

Here are some quick steps you can take right now to start shifting toward a growth mindset:

• Write your plans in pencil. Know where you want to wind up and don’t give up on that, but stay flexible with the details and how you get there
• Roll with the punches. Sometimes life won’t go as planned, and when that happens, you have to adapt. This is a lot like the first point, but it applies to other areas of your life beyond your goals.
• Stop believing in failure, provided you’re busting your butt and you keep trying. Instead, flip the script and call it a lesson. See what you can learn from it. Then follow that by immediately applying the lesson.
• Collect your rejection slips, let downs, turn downs, and coming up shorts, make them part of the prize. Trust me, they’ll feel fantastic when you do get there!
• Make your own rules. Get to the principles behind a thing, and figure out how to make it work better for you. Again, adapt, adapt, adapt.
• Never stop, never settle, never give up. Not even when you get where you’re going. Instead, figure out where else you can go, what else you can do, who else you can become.
• Grow into the person you’d be even more proud to be. Always.

Takeaway

Push will come to shove, and when it does, choose growth. It’s just fine to work your butt off to be the best. You totally should! And the more you work at it, the more you give for it, the more you sweat, bust your butt, shed some tears, and push push push for it, the more certain I am that you’re going to get there.

But, don’t forget growth. Don’t forget that being the best has its limitations and if you want to break out of the cycle of worry, struggle and only so many opportunities, shift your thinking and shift your efforts towards growth instead.

When life gets tough, and it will. Remember this: Not your best, better.

Gregory D. Welch is a scribbler, a poet, and a thinker. He lives in Kentucky, writes often about night skies, ghosts of a wide variety, and life through a grittier filter. He has lived a storied life, deeply rooted in and connected to the rolling hills, running creeks, hollers, and lost byways of Kentucky.