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Abstract

You would think this should go without saying, but I would like to say it.</p><p id="08bc">In order to have something to be accountable for, you need to first set the parameters. If there are no boundaries, then anything goes. So make sure you both outline the what, when, and how of the goal.</p><p id="a7f3">There is no accountability without clarity.</p><h2 id="867f">2. Set clear check-in times.</h2><p id="2a66">These check-ins are when the actual accountability happens. Out of sight is out of mind. To keep on track, one needs regular reminders of what the goal is and to ensure they are hitting the milestones or at least, are still on track.</p><p id="6579">With a pre-fixed check-in time, you avoid a situation where you both get carried away by life’s many demands only to look up 3 months down the line and you haven’t actually held each other accountable.</p><h2 id="3fe3">3. Be truthful with each other</h2><p id="2ab3">There’s no need to lie that you did something when you didn’t. Lies will defeat the entire process. If there is no integrity to the process, you might as well pack it up and head on out, cause it’s of no use.</p><h2 id="3a15">4. Do not slack because they are slacking.</h2><p id="aa92">If your accountability partner is in the trough of motivation, see it as your chance to be the source of support.</p><p id="1e60">Most people want the other person to be just as pumped as they are, and begrudge their accountability buddy for ‘dragging’ sometimes. But see that as your chance to step up and be the charge in each other’s batteries.</p><p id="4ba9">It’s more beneficial if you are not at the same level of motivation as your accountability buddy. Imagine if your buddy is pumped when you are pumped. It means they will be low when you are low

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.</p><p id="e30a">It works best if you are on a seesaw. When they are down, you are up. When you are down, they are up. And sometimes, you both find yourself in the sweet middle, leveled out.</p><h2 id="7e88">5. Don’t be afraid to challenge poorly set goals or pick up on signs of burnout.</h2><p id="b3df">I remember when I first sat down with my coach and reviewed my plan for the year. My daily word target was sky-high.</p><p id="e607">(Don’t ask me the actual figure. I am too ashamed to even mention it. You are welcome to guess it though in the comment section.)</p><p id="6104">My coach recommended I cut it down, but I resisted. He let it be. But by the next week, I was more than ready to cut it down to a realistic figure.</p><p id="8cb1">Same with your accountability buddy.</p><p id="963b">Butting heads and flared tempers, is one sure way to make your accountability buddy system go up in flames, and so also your prior friendship even. Most people think you need to apply ‘tough love’, but that hardly ever works. Tough love will just push the other person away.</p><p id="b5be">Voice your criticism or suggestions, then step back if you meet resistance. Let the other person take your advice at their own pace.</p><p id="4092">You suggest, they decide.</p><p id="7cee"><b>A sense of autonomy is one of our superpowers, don't take it away from them.</b></p><blockquote id="097d"><p>We win together as a team. And we lose together as a team — Kenny Smith.</p></blockquote><p id="283e">If you enjoy my writing, you can get exclusive information on what I am up to next and what I am learning about in the world of writing by s<a href="https://mailchi.mp/305ef817b64f/grow-with-joy">ubscribing to my weekly newsletter</a>. See you in the inbox.</p></article></body>

Stop Sleeping On This 1 System That Will Give You God-tier Discipline

Your favorite most-revered productivity bro uses this.

The system works best if you are on a seesaw.

When they are down, you are up.

When you are down, they are up.

And sometimes, you both find yourself in the sweet middle, levelled out.

I am going to keep the intro brief, cause this article is not about convincing you to get an accountability partner/buddy/coach.

That is already a given. You should absolutely get one.

Even your favorite most-revered productivity bro has a coach keeping them in check.

There are so many paid coaches out there, but if you balk at dishing out upwards of $100 a month for someone to tell you to clean your room, do your laundry, and exercise 3 times a week, you can just get a friend to do that for you, for free.

But there is a caveat, most accountability buddy systems involving friends fail. I know this because I have tried it and it was of no use.

Thinking back, this is what I have learned from my experience and what I think will make the system work perfectly.

How to make the accountability buddy system work

1. Set clear goals and convey them to each other.

This is the crux of the whole matter, the very basic tenet. You would think this should go without saying, but I would like to say it.

In order to have something to be accountable for, you need to first set the parameters. If there are no boundaries, then anything goes. So make sure you both outline the what, when, and how of the goal.

There is no accountability without clarity.

2. Set clear check-in times.

These check-ins are when the actual accountability happens. Out of sight is out of mind. To keep on track, one needs regular reminders of what the goal is and to ensure they are hitting the milestones or at least, are still on track.

With a pre-fixed check-in time, you avoid a situation where you both get carried away by life’s many demands only to look up 3 months down the line and you haven’t actually held each other accountable.

3. Be truthful with each other

There’s no need to lie that you did something when you didn’t. Lies will defeat the entire process. If there is no integrity to the process, you might as well pack it up and head on out, cause it’s of no use.

4. Do not slack because they are slacking.

If your accountability partner is in the trough of motivation, see it as your chance to be the source of support.

Most people want the other person to be just as pumped as they are, and begrudge their accountability buddy for ‘dragging’ sometimes. But see that as your chance to step up and be the charge in each other’s batteries.

It’s more beneficial if you are not at the same level of motivation as your accountability buddy. Imagine if your buddy is pumped when you are pumped. It means they will be low when you are low.

It works best if you are on a seesaw. When they are down, you are up. When you are down, they are up. And sometimes, you both find yourself in the sweet middle, leveled out.

5. Don’t be afraid to challenge poorly set goals or pick up on signs of burnout.

I remember when I first sat down with my coach and reviewed my plan for the year. My daily word target was sky-high.

(Don’t ask me the actual figure. I am too ashamed to even mention it. You are welcome to guess it though in the comment section.)

My coach recommended I cut it down, but I resisted. He let it be. But by the next week, I was more than ready to cut it down to a realistic figure.

Same with your accountability buddy.

Butting heads and flared tempers, is one sure way to make your accountability buddy system go up in flames, and so also your prior friendship even. Most people think you need to apply ‘tough love’, but that hardly ever works. Tough love will just push the other person away.

Voice your criticism or suggestions, then step back if you meet resistance. Let the other person take your advice at their own pace.

You suggest, they decide.

A sense of autonomy is one of our superpowers, don't take it away from them.

We win together as a team. And we lose together as a team — Kenny Smith.

If you enjoy my writing, you can get exclusive information on what I am up to next and what I am learning about in the world of writing by subscribing to my weekly newsletter. See you in the inbox.