Stop Picking up the Things You Discarded
4 things to leave behind today.
When the movie Frozen came out in 2013, the entire world started singing, “Let It Go.”
It was the catchphrase, and everyone was extolling the value of letting things go.
I won’t pretend that I never relied on the expression in my writing. It’s a simple and powerful message and one we all need to learn.
Too often, you hang on to things that you should let go. These weights keep you stuck in place and unable to make lasting changes in your life.
One thing the animated movie didn’t prepare us for, though, was a common trait that seems to run in people with bipolar disorder. Sometimes you go back to what you left behind.
“All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.”
— Anatole France
The Urge to Return
While in the right frame of mind, you can let things go, but then, when depression comes calling, you head back to them.
Like the tide changing, you run back to your burdens and pick them up again. The weight you thought was gone forever now finds a familiar place on your shoulders and grows fresh roots.
You’re stuck again, despite how much work you put into letting it go.
Picking up my prior burdens is a bad habit I keep returning to. I’d love to say I’m getting better at it with age, but too frequently I’m not.
When depression tugs at me or the horrible choir in my head starts chanting, I want to run back to things in my past. Even the relationships I know caused me nothing but pain will draw me back because they are familiar. And on the worst bipolar days, you just want something stable to hold on to.
There’s a reason you left those things behind, so fight the urge to snatch them up again.
Here are four burdens you might pick up again, and some suggestions on how you can leave them behind for good.
1. Negative Thoughts
Negative thoughts can pull you in like tornado winds.
One bad thought inspires another, and you get trapped in a negative thought spiral, especially when you’re already feeling low. To stop picking up these unhealthy patterns, practice positive thinking and self-talk instead. Learn to reframe the messages you say to yourself.
Remind yourself of all the great things you can do and what you’ve already conquered with hard work and resilience.
2. People Pleasing
Raise your hand if you’re a people pleaser.
Yeah, me too, even though I fight it constantly.
When your habit is to please other people, you may become accustomed to putting everyone else’s needs before your own. Make sure that as you navigate relationships and build connections, that you don’t sacrifice your own wants and needs.
3. Toxic Relationships
Some people are just as dangerous for you as drinking poison.
Yet, when you’ve invested a lot of time in a relationship, it’s hard to let go. Even if you walk away, your heart may pull you back to the harmful pattern.
No matter how deeply you care for the other person, if the relationship is unhealthy or unsafe for either of you, it’s time to walk away for good.
Move on from what isn’t nourishing your life so you can grow into better experiences.
4. Unachievable Goals
It’s great to have goals.
When you set and achieve goals, it gives you confidence and the motivation to try new things. You fall into a trap when you set unrealistic or unachievable goals. Some things are impossible for you, no matter how hard you try.
Don’t get stuck working towards something you can never attain. It will only frustrate you and waste your energy.
Just Let Go
Letting go of things is hard, but it’s necessary for you to move forward in life.
Make sure that you’re not returning to the things you have discarded. Instead, focus on creating a life that you are proud of no.
Never let burdens from the past weigh you down, especially if you’ve already let go of them once before. Leave the past in yesterday and look forward to better possibilities.
What are you waiting for? Start taking action and living a life that is free of the things you discarded long ago. You deserve to be happy and it starts with leaving behind the things you already let go.
How do you keep yourself from picking up the things you previously left behind? Please share your tips in the comments.
Writing Time
Explore your feelings about moving on with these writing prompts.
Journal Prompt: Write about a time you overcame an obstacle that seemed impossible. How did you feel when you realized you achieved success? What gave you the strength to keep going?
Creative Writing Prompt: Write a story about a character who is struggling to leave a relationship in the past. What do they need to learn before they can move on? How do they find success?
Until next time, keep fighting.
