Stop Making Excuses For Him. — A Resolution For A Better Life.
It doesn’t matter what his love language is if he sticks it inside someone else.
Stop making excuses for them.
There is no clear path in an unhappy relationship. Only fools trudge through the same muck repeatedly, with different people.
I’m a passionate thinker, an uncured romantic and a prize fool (see above). I issued expectations for myself that when I found Mr. Right, I would mind all my Ps and Qs and keep my closet door closed.
The skeletal remains of past relationships with all the “Mr. What the Hell was I Thinkings” are all over the floor in there.
It’s a trip hazard for sure and no one wants to see that.
I have been known to say the wrong thing, react the wrong way. My mouth is usually the cause of my trouble. If I don’t mind my issued expectations (my Ps and Qs) the devil gets out. Pops the lock and goes running amuck. Once he’s out — he’s not so easy to catch
I’m what they call brutally honest — I prefer the term, insightful.
There have been times where I’ve felt backed into a corner. I’ve wanted to lash out, flip a table, fling myself off a bridge, burn down a village, pull into oncoming traffic. — It doesn’t mean I act on it.
You can lie and say you’ve never felt that way — but chances are good if you’re a human that’s ever experienced love, you’re nodding in agreement.
If you’re not, chances are you’re a mutant. Stop reading immediately. This isn’t for you.
I spent the majority of my adolescent love life catching the men I loved, in lies. Or worse, in bed. No less than three of them found affection at work. One ended up in the arms of my best friend. Another fell in love with the bottle. The last one faked cancer.
A few of the lies that were told to me were downright terrifying in their intricacies. Clever bastards.
Anything was done in the dark eventually sees the light of day.
I imagine more trusting folks fall prey to the spider web of lies and find themselves stuck. I however, have never wanted to become someone’s lunch.
I’ve always picked up, packed up, and moved on. Never have I been stuck. I will not stay behind where I am not wanted. For this, I’ve been called cold and an assortment of other sharp terms.
Comically enough, after I left, one of my exes called me the Black Widow. He even went as far as tattooing said spider on the breadth of his shoulder blades. The caption under it read: Never Again.
Catchy.
By my own family, I’ve been called a man-eater. The family was all too quick to pass judgment on my relationships. It seemed as though they would have been more content to know that I “stayed and tried to make it work”.
Perhaps they’d have been more comfortable knowing I suffered as they did — for no reward and nothing to show for the emptiness? What a terrible message.
It is NOT ok to be cheated on. It is NOT normal to be lied to.
It causes real emotional damage that can’t just be overcome with a therapy session and a dozen roses. Followed by three to six months of pretending to be someone you are not.
Self-help books are more damaging than they are helpful. “Marriage takes work” — No. Bad marriages take work.
Why in the hell would you fight to stay with someone who hurts you? You wouldn’t.
Well, maybe you would… But I sure as shit, will not.
I don’t care what his “Love Language” is, when he sticks it inside someone else.
Good marriages and relationships run on fluid communication and a healthy understanding that the other person loves them and means them no harm.
When we treat each other with respect….When we want what’s best for the person we love, I believe we find the healthiest version of ourselves.
Point is, If you’re in a bad relationship, do yourself a favour and leave. Pack your things and go. Don’t look back. Don’t listen to members of your family who are incapable of managing their own marriages.
It is OK to want better things. It is normal to want to be treated with love and respect. It’s healthy to stand up for yourself and learn to say NO.
Need more relationship advice? Check out this great article from Aaron McClure.