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Abstract

and Tim Ferris all wrapped into one if you just did what they said.</p><h1 id="3dd8">Self-help without the toxicity</h1><p id="bffe">Some people love toxic self-help. They love it because they love to be told that they are worthless, wasting their life, and will never amount to anything. Some of the writers and self-help gurus out there want to remind you daily that you’ll never amount to anything and are good for nothing.</p><p id="ec42">They want to beat you over the head that you’re not where you want to be and should feel terrible about yourself for being unproductive and unhappy. You’re sitting on all this potential but you’re simply wasting away your life not doing a single thing they’re asking you to do.</p><p id="38fd">If you’re not in the category of people who love toxic self-help but want to improve your life, there is another way. I don’t think that being told that you’re a loser is the way to change your life. I don’t believe that beating yourself up and hating your life is the way to make a change.</p><p id="92dc" type="7">There is a kinder, gentler, and softer way to change your life that doesn’t require that you be told that you’re worthless. You can make a major life change and don’t have to feel bad about yourself.</p><p id="ed49">You simply turn-off the self-help gurus and their articles, podcasts, Youtube videos, and Instagram posts that keep hitting on your flaws and inadequacies.</p><h1 id="1335">Living a life that you value</h1><p id="ea4c">Healthy self-help requires you to delve deep within yourself to find out what it is that you want, not anyone else around you want. It requires you to drop the social conditioning, the cultural pressures, and the community expectations. It requires that you stop living the life that others have because you believe you want the life that others do.</p><p id="314b">Instead of creating this massive life that the self-help bros want you to have, you might want to slow down and ask yourself what you want. What would your ideal work-life and life look like? What would your ideal income be? What would your ideal day be like? What would fulfillment and meaning look like for you?</p><p id="5283">The main problem with the self-help jocks it that they are full of themselves and believe that everyone wants a rich and busy life. Hate to break the news to them but we don’t. Some of us want quiet, happy lives that we live on our own terms. We don’t need multiple six-figure businesses and private jets.</p><p id="b637">Maybe personal development is simp

Options

ly about getting clear about brings YOU fulfillment and not anyone else. Then, it’s how to pursue that life you want on a consistent basis. How do you grow into the life that you envisioned? How do you live a life that is filled with what you value? How do you live a life of laughter, ease, and meaning?</p><h1 id="b38c">Accepting yourself for who you are and where you are</h1><p id="d154">If you’re feeling crappy about yourself and hate yourself because you’re not where you want to be, there is a different way to go about self-development and self-help.</p><p id="6d5c">Start with compassion for yourself and accepting your journey. You have come as far as you have despite the traumas, challenges, and hurts. You’re here today and you’re doing the best you can. Give yourself the compassion and empathy for having lived the life that you have lived.</p><p id="ef17">Can you do better? Yes. Are you a terrible person? No.</p><p id="1abe">Let’s start with saner self-help. Let’s stop beating ourselves up for the things that we are not doing and for not being far enough along on our personal growth journey. Let’s accept where we have been, make peace where we are today and move forward with gentleness and a quiet determination to improve our lives.</p><p id="4d31">Let’s be kinder to ourselves and more compassionate to ourselves so we can improve our lives. Self-help starts with accepting who we are, being kind to ourselves, and loving ourselves. It is to see our worth and our value. It is to fully embrace ourselves. It is to be understanding of our past and make peace with where we are today.</p><h1 id="47f4">Ditch the toxicity and embrace your path</h1><p id="46f8">Once you accept yourself and where you are, start getting clear on what it is YOU want. Improve yourself at your own pace. Set goals that encourage you to keep moving forward to the life that you desire, not what the gurus want for you. Find purpose and meaning so you motivate yourself from the inside out.</p><p id="34a2">Part of your self-help journey requires you to ditching the toxic self-help gurus out there who want to get in your face and level with you. Do self-help that feels good to you, not one that makes you feel terrible about yourself.</p><p id="205d">The better you feel about yourself and the more accepting you are of the current situation, the further you can progress on your self-help journey.</p><p id="8c93"><b>Are you done with toxic self-help? Feel free to share your own experiences and examples below.</b></p></article></body>

Stop Listening to the Self-Help Jerks

You don’t have to listen to their advice or want what they want

I don’t know what your problem is but if you want to be a loser, keep on doing you. You deserve to live a life of mediocrity if you don’t step up.

Sure, you can try to improve your life but I doubt you will. You don’t know how to manage your mind, thoughts and emotions. You’re a weak human being who will never get anywhere in life.

You are doomed to live a lowly existence, sleep through most of your life and regret your dreams on your deathbed.

Unless course you get your act together, buy my course and do everything I say for the next 90 days. Then, maybe, just maybe you might have hope of not being a loser.

Sound familiar, anyone? Just your friendly helpful self-help blogger trying to keep it real with you.

Toxic self-help bloggers want to help you NOT suck

The good news is that you don’t have to go very far to find the self-help jerks on this platform or any other platform. There are plenty of overt and covert toxic bloggers of the self-help world. They just want you to know that you suck in life and remind you that you’re a loser.

While you’re feeling depressed about your life and feeling stuck in every aspect of it, the self-help blogger continues to grow their blog traffic, increase their annual revenue, have great relationships, and publish best-selling books. They have read the classics of the past like Think and Grow Rich and soaked in every word of the Stoics which they have now applied to their life.

These Gods of personal development, usually men in their 20’s and 30’s, claim that they have all the wisdom and strategies to help you overcome all your challenges, transform your life and become a version of yourself that the world has never seen. You can become Steve Jobs, Seneca, Elon Musk, and Tim Ferris all wrapped into one if you just did what they said.

Self-help without the toxicity

Some people love toxic self-help. They love it because they love to be told that they are worthless, wasting their life, and will never amount to anything. Some of the writers and self-help gurus out there want to remind you daily that you’ll never amount to anything and are good for nothing.

They want to beat you over the head that you’re not where you want to be and should feel terrible about yourself for being unproductive and unhappy. You’re sitting on all this potential but you’re simply wasting away your life not doing a single thing they’re asking you to do.

If you’re not in the category of people who love toxic self-help but want to improve your life, there is another way. I don’t think that being told that you’re a loser is the way to change your life. I don’t believe that beating yourself up and hating your life is the way to make a change.

There is a kinder, gentler, and softer way to change your life that doesn’t require that you be told that you’re worthless. You can make a major life change and don’t have to feel bad about yourself.

You simply turn-off the self-help gurus and their articles, podcasts, Youtube videos, and Instagram posts that keep hitting on your flaws and inadequacies.

Living a life that you value

Healthy self-help requires you to delve deep within yourself to find out what it is that you want, not anyone else around you want. It requires you to drop the social conditioning, the cultural pressures, and the community expectations. It requires that you stop living the life that others have because you believe you want the life that others do.

Instead of creating this massive life that the self-help bros want you to have, you might want to slow down and ask yourself what you want. What would your ideal work-life and life look like? What would your ideal income be? What would your ideal day be like? What would fulfillment and meaning look like for you?

The main problem with the self-help jocks it that they are full of themselves and believe that everyone wants a rich and busy life. Hate to break the news to them but we don’t. Some of us want quiet, happy lives that we live on our own terms. We don’t need multiple six-figure businesses and private jets.

Maybe personal development is simply about getting clear about brings YOU fulfillment and not anyone else. Then, it’s how to pursue that life you want on a consistent basis. How do you grow into the life that you envisioned? How do you live a life that is filled with what you value? How do you live a life of laughter, ease, and meaning?

Accepting yourself for who you are and where you are

If you’re feeling crappy about yourself and hate yourself because you’re not where you want to be, there is a different way to go about self-development and self-help.

Start with compassion for yourself and accepting your journey. You have come as far as you have despite the traumas, challenges, and hurts. You’re here today and you’re doing the best you can. Give yourself the compassion and empathy for having lived the life that you have lived.

Can you do better? Yes. Are you a terrible person? No.

Let’s start with saner self-help. Let’s stop beating ourselves up for the things that we are not doing and for not being far enough along on our personal growth journey. Let’s accept where we have been, make peace where we are today and move forward with gentleness and a quiet determination to improve our lives.

Let’s be kinder to ourselves and more compassionate to ourselves so we can improve our lives. Self-help starts with accepting who we are, being kind to ourselves, and loving ourselves. It is to see our worth and our value. It is to fully embrace ourselves. It is to be understanding of our past and make peace with where we are today.

Ditch the toxicity and embrace your path

Once you accept yourself and where you are, start getting clear on what it is YOU want. Improve yourself at your own pace. Set goals that encourage you to keep moving forward to the life that you desire, not what the gurus want for you. Find purpose and meaning so you motivate yourself from the inside out.

Part of your self-help journey requires you to ditching the toxic self-help gurus out there who want to get in your face and level with you. Do self-help that feels good to you, not one that makes you feel terrible about yourself.

The better you feel about yourself and the more accepting you are of the current situation, the further you can progress on your self-help journey.

Are you done with toxic self-help? Feel free to share your own experiences and examples below.