Stop Letting Your Emotions Control You, Do This Instead

I went to a public pool near my house for a swim yesterday.

I’ve walked past it many times and I was finally going to swim. I was on the swim team in high school and still enjoy swimming for exercise.

I walked a mile and a half in the hot sun only to be turned away. The pool times are split between free swim and swim practice and I came at the wrong time. The lifeguard on duty explained the schedule in a very nice and polite way.

I was as nice as could be and thanked her, even though I was seething with anger.

I walked all the way there and couldn’t get in. Why can’t they just put the hours online? I think this is a fair question since it is 2022.

I then began to hate on Hawaii and the fact that they are still in the 90s. This is pretty common for me to do, when things don’t go my way I blame others or Hawaii itself.

Once I cooled down and thought about it, I realized it wasn’t their fault. (Although the website thing could easily be done).

I was mad because I didn’t get to do what I wanted.

The reason that made me so mad is that I’m not happy with my life in general, this was just one manifestation of that.

Not getting into the pool isn’t a big deal, it seemed like a big deal because it reaffirmed what I already thought, that I’m a pathetic loser.

These deeper insecurities and my anger with myself for not doing more in my life are then taken out on some random person who happens to do something I don’t like.

Thinking about our anger.

It’s easy to get pissed off or offended by things people say or do, or events that happen throughout the day. If we take the time to stop and think about our anger and get to the root of it, we can get over it.

Questions to ask

When the rage subsides and I sit down to think about what happened I start with some basic questions. Why did I get so mad? Why did what he/she said make me so mad? What was the alternative? Was this really their fault or am I partially to blame as well? Is there something deeper that I’m avoiding?

Let me be clear I’m not saying that we should blame ourselves and beat ourselves up when things go wrong.

All I’m saying is self-awareness and self-accountability are important.

If we go around always blaming other people or other circumstances we keep living in delusion. We like to think we are perfect little angels when in reality we all make mistakes and do dumb things from time to time.

Being aware of our thoughts and actions allows us to live life. By blaming external forces we give them power over us, we are a slave to our emotions.

Taking a step back and thinking for a second instead of just feeling allows us to see things more clearly.

So next time you get mad or upset think about it, after you calm down, and begin to question what happened and why you reacted the way you did.

It might be hard to admit at first, but the freedom and peace of mind that come from understanding will improve your life.

Besides who wants to be angry and upset all the time?

I don’t, that’s why I’m releasing my anger, and you can too.

Thanks for reading, here are some other articles I wrote if you want to read more. Or follow me for updates when I post.