Stop Letting People Take Advantage Of You

Setting boundaries is a good way to create success and happiness

The struggle is real, and these past few weeks people’s behaviors have been a lot to handle.

Are people too cooped up? Are people seeing so much for free that they think everything should be free? Are folks feeling brave like nothing to lose, so they dare to ask? Are they demanding information? Or assuming they will always receive things for free?

Whew! Again, it can be exhausting if you are an entrepreneur or small business owner.

I talk a lot about boundaries on my podcasts. It comes up naturally for me as I have gained confidence over the years and a lot of practice to set them. Rarely do they fail me. As a matter of fact, the more I set them and understand them, the more I set them. And it feels good. It feels good to stand up for myself and not be a pushover.

It feels good to make the best use of my time for what I need to do.

I also have deep respect and compassion for people that set boundaries. Do people respect a pushover or a people pleaser? Does anyone look at that person and say they want to be like them? No, it’s an admirable quality and often leads to stress, anxiety, and overall unhappiness. So why don’t people set them?

Boundaries are part of self-care. They are healthy, normal, and necessary. — Doreen Virtue

I have seen companies that have commission-based reps tell them what to do in their downtime. I even received an email from a vendor telling the reps to “convince” customers to place orders. I had to walk away from my computer. I had to control myself as I couldn’t believe someone could request something like that during this time. Where is their mindfulness and compassion?

In regards to my husband’s business, Good Karma Sportfishing, I have seen audience members boldly ask for more free content to be created. Content that takes a lot of time to create has high value and should be charged for. We are changing that pattern and starting to create paid for content. It’s time to set those boundaries.

The difference between successful people and really successful people is that they say “no” to almost everything. — Warren Buffet.

How do you get the courage to stand up for yourself and set boundaries?

Clients say to me:

I don’t have a choice.

I have to.

It’s my job.

They pay me.

I need the money.

It’s my family.

It can be tough to set boundaries. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think it’s the easiest thing either. But with time and practice, it can get easier, and you can build the courage and confidence required.

Start first by recognizing your triggers.

What bothers you? Is it a person? A request that is asked or even expected of you? Communication? Sit down and take the time to recognize what it is or who it is. It could also be a what and who combo. Aim to acknowledge it and make note. Once you start to recognize what it is, that is one of the most significant ways to move forward.

Think about what drives you to the place of annoyance that nails on a chalkboard feeling (we all get it) or simply put you just don’t want to do it. Why is that? For me, I often recognize that the ask doesn’t make sense. The request or expectation isn’t logical, a good use of my time or resources, or I am being taken advantage of.

There are many reasons you get that feeling but it’s important to step back and understand it.

No one will listen to us until we listen to ourselves- Marianne Williamson

Develop a plan that will help alleviate the situation.

Take your time. Look at it from all sides. I usually take a day or two. If it helps to find a someone you trust to discuss the situation with, do that. It may help to air it out and look at it a few different ways.

I am thinking about something that is expected of me but taking all the time I need because it doesn’t need to be addressed at this second. Use your judgment, but try to take some time to sit with it as best as you can.

Layout your boundaries to the other person with your highest intentions.

Explain why or why it doesn’t work for you or is logical. When you do this, you need to be aware that there may be repercussions if the other person doesn’t see your point of view. Are you OK with that? Are you going to be OK with the outcome if it doesn’t work in your favor? Maybe there is a compromise that comes out of it. Will you be OK with that? The more you can mentally prep for various scenarios the stronger and better versed you will be.

“No” is a complete sentence- Ann Lamont

You desire good things to come from this communication. You want things to work out for the best of all parties involved. However, often people don’t think of alternative solutions. They may operate in the fashion of this is the way we have always done it. Or they may only think of themselves hence even a more significant reason to set boundaries and do what is best for you.

Over the years, I have seen immense changes result from conversations I have had where I said no to something. It forced the other person or party to change for the better. Again, the more you do it, the more confident you will become.

Setting boundaries is one of the fastest ways to success. And success to me is happiness.