Stop Letting Fear Hold You Back.

We all have an ideal version of ourselves in our minds. Why do we let fear stop us?

It’s the most frustrating feeling to have this idea of who you want to be in your head, whilst feeling as if that idea is completely out of your reach.

This post is a bit different to some of my other ones where I give an entire ‘how-to’ on a certain subject.

This post is more of a rant on how fear destroys any chance of us reaching our full potential.

Nonetheless, I have still provided two tips that have saved me numerous times when it came to overcoming my fears.

I know all the technical reasons why we struggle to become the ideal versions of ourselves:

• self-doubt
• procrastination
• lack of direction
• perfectionism
• expectations
• etc.

But what do these really mean?

Why are they holding me back?

Fear

Every single factor that contributes to our inaction towards our goals comes down to one thing: fear.

I fear that I won’t have the skills to become who I want. Self-doubt.

I fear that I’ll fail on the first step. Procrastination.

I fear that I won’t know what to do. Lack of direction.

I fear that I won’t achieve exactly what it is that I want. Perfectionism.

I fear that other people will not approve of my journey. Expectations.

Getting rid of fear

So, now that we know that fear is behind it all, how do we get rid of it?

Here are two things that I implore you to consider in your daily life if you want fear to stop holding you back.

1. Acknowledgement.

The most important thing is to recognise and acknowledge the fear. Notice it.

If you aren’t aware of the fears that are lingering and holding you back in the first place, you cannot tackle them.

Take a mental note of what it is you fear and even write it down so you can better understand it.

2. Exposure.

That’s right. Exposure.

Probably the single-handedly most effective way to get rid of any fear, even phobias, is exposure therapy.

You can sit around and intellectualise your fears all day, but until you are faced with your fears directly, you won’t overcome them.

Here’s my tip on exposing yourself to the things you’re afraid of doing.

Create a habitual link between the things you fear and acting on them instantly.

If you are scared of swimming, think “I will go swimming now”, and go swimming.

If you are scared of writing a blog and posting it, think “I will go write a blog and post it now”, and do it.

Probably the best time of my life was two summers ago when I did this exact thing with most of my fears.

Every time there was something I was scared of doing, my brain naturally thought, with ease, “Time to go do this thing now”.

It wasn’t an “Oh no, I have to do it”.

It became an automatic thought that I conditioned myself into having which led to automatic action.

It gets easier.

The first few times will be a bit daunting.

After a few trials, though, you’ll realise that you start to run right into your fears before you even consciously realise it.

It becomes so natural and easy to the point where it almost feels as though the fear has subsided altogether.

Because it has.

You overcome the fear of action; the fear of doing the things you want to do.

You overcome the fear of being who you want to be.

Summary

This concept may seem a bit out there, but it works.

The best part of this advice is that once you use it on a few smaller fears, your general confidence grows and you’re able to apply this confidence to more and more areas of your life with more ease.

Being scared is okay. It’s natural.

But don’t mix fear with inaction.

If you didn’t want this thing so badly, then you wouldn’t be scared to begin with.

Fear only shows you that there’s something that you want. Look at your fear as a guiding force, not as an obstacle.