Stop It With This Type of Nonsense

Is it really that necessary for you to have a specific type?

I was told by a friend of mine recently that it was odd I didn’t have a type.

She said that it seemed like I chased after whoever I felt like chasing after, and there wasn’t really a certain type of person I was looking for love in. Her intentions weren’t to critique like a painting or anything, she was just looking out for me. It made me take a step back and really evaluate that phrase though.

The word “type” has been tossed around so many times whenever the topic of love brings it up, and it’s often used to describe the general type of person someone would be attracted to. That statement on its own is one I have no problems with, but it’s more so how people apply that statement that I disagree with. I’ve said this in almost every one of my articles, but love is something you just can’t force. By squeezing yourself into a small general group, you’re not really helping yourself.

I’m not saying you can’t have a type, because it’s smart to not waste your time with people with who it will obviously never work out. Instead of only focusing on your type, perhaps instead you should use that as a rough guideline. So when you go looking for a significant other, if they meet whatever criteria you have, that’s great, but it’s also not a deal-breaker if they don’t exactly match your type. In case you haven’t already guessed where this is going, one of the biggest pet peeves I have with people is when they reject someone solely off of them not being their type.

That you could be so ignorant is perplexing, but I guess all I can do is offer advice to you, not shove it down your throat and make you do it. While we’re talking about deal-breakers if you are going to have a type, you need to come to terms with the fact that you may ask too much of your potential partner. It’s great to look for outstanding qualities in someone, but if you don’t reflect some of those qualities, your attempts at a relationship will fail miserably.

There are levels to have a type as well. Some people feel the need to set high expectations for their partner because of pressure being thrown at them, but sometimes just having someone you can let loose with and be free around is better. Manipulating pressure in a way that’s beneficial to you is one of the best ways to deal with it and blowing responsibility and part of that pressure at your date isn’t beneficial for either person.

It could also be a case where someone’s set unusually high expectations that they know will never be achieved, but ignore that warning and continue to live in a fantasized version of reality. There’s nothing wrong with setting goals you seek to achieve, but setting unattainable goals is just asking for disappointment. Part of the way we can find the true people we mesh best at is accepting who is within society, which is a lot easier said than done. Still, in the long run, it will help clear up any confusion about who you are and who you are with your partner.

Then, there are those people who have a type, but it dramatically changes depending on their mood or current lifestyle. Traumatic events are not something that one wishes to happen, but they are naturally interwoven into life and can change the way you look at love. There’s also a situation where your lifestyle undergoes a major revamp and your new significant other is part of the best version of yourself that you can be.

This applies to a select group of people, but there are people who don’t have types. Not because they don’t believe in love or have issues with types, but because their first love was the correct choice. Again, it’s not always that simple, but what will happen. Hats off to those select few because they never have to go through heartbreak, and they make the other groups just a teensy bit jealous. Just a little bit.

Finally, you have the category I fall under. Hear me out I’ll believe in love until the day I collapse, but I don’t believe in types because limiting yourself is asking for extra pain that’s not needed. Love is something that’s enjoyed, and I can say that I’ve ventured across territories and boundaries I never thought would have been conquered. How much conquering was actually being done is a story for another day, but you get the point.

You shouldn’t just look at every single person in your life as a potential match because that’s both a little bit creepy and worrying or a sign you’re a little too desperate, but finding love in the most unexpected places or sources is exciting. You can have a type of person you’re hunting and that’s fine, but just keep your options open the next time you think a suitor isn’t right for you because they aren’t your “type”.

If that’s too much trouble, ignore types entirely and let your emotions run amok. Respectfully, of course.