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2005

Abstract

/unsplash.com?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure>Do you know someone who believes that the way to lift themselves up is to put someone else down? I think we all know people like that.Those voices in our head come from people embracing this destructive mentality.I was never about you. It was always about them.If they made you responsible for their shortcomings or problems, then they could feel better about themselves.Perhaps it was a reflection on how they were raised and they didn’t know any differently, and probably they didn’t want to know.Bottom line, it was all BOGUS. That is on them.Allowing those voices to remain in your head, means it is now all about you and your choice to allow them to remain in residence there. Not only are they living there rent-free, essentially every time you hear them, you respond, or they impact you, you are paying them to live there. Is that crazy or what?<h2 id="817e">But What About When I Hear Those Destructive Things in My Voice? Where Does That Come From?</h2>Here is the saddest part of all. When we hear the same destructive phrase repeatedly, we are vulnerable to internalizing it. We accept the idea that we are stupid, or whatever the indictment is, and we internalize it as truth.Then we hear the destructive tapes cycling round and round it the back of our head as truth. We wouldn’t lie to ourselves, so it must be true.This is the most destructive tape of all, and it too is BOGUS.<h2 id="6363">How Do I silence the Voices So I Can Move Forward?</h2>It starts with the recognition that it was about them and not about you. What was going on in their life that might have caused them to decide to abuse you, bully you, or in some matter treat you in a hurtful, unfair manner.If you don’t kno

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w what was going on in their life at that time, then create a plausible scenario based on what you know. Your brain cannot recognize the difference between real and perceived.Once you have done this, you understand it is bogus and be able to separate and filter out those destructive voices.Your ability to do that will start immediately, but it is not a one-and-done situation. It is a process you will become more skilled at with time and practice.You will never be totally free because life will cause new voices to be planted. Here is the really cool thing. You now have a tool you can use on-demand when an old or a new voice appears.<h2 id="8212">This All Sounds Good But What Does it Have to Do with Fear & Anxiety?</h2><figure id="322b"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/0*sBJBI1zXWSc7FZ_Q"><figcaption>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@healing_photographer?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Aarón Blanco Tejedor</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure>Unless you are actively being chased by a bear or you are trying to escape a burning building, fear is simply a perception of something that might happen at a future date.We create stress and agonize over things that probably will never happen. Anxiety is activated by fear, including the fear of the unknown. Those pesky voices telling us what we can’t do are a primary driver of fear and anxiety, and that is keeping you stuck.Isn’t it time to kick fear and anxiety to the curb and get unstuck? Getting unstuck is the next step on your road to success. So you owe it to yourself to get unstuck now!If those voices are rooted in your history of childhood sexual abuse, please <a href="https://www.adalloyd.com/10-strategies-to-move-beyond-childhood-sexual-abuse">download this.</a></article></body>

Self Improvement

Stop Fear and Inadequacy From Keeping You Stuck

What are the voices in the back of your head telling you?

Photo by Khashayar Kouchpeydeh on Unsplash

Have you ever felt like this guy was in the back of your head shouting at you?

I guarantee he wasn’t shouting, “You are amazing. You can do anything you set your mind to doing.” Perhaps he was saying,

You’re an idiot.

You’re a worthless piece of…

You can’t do anything right… you never could… you never will.

But you weren’t born with him in your head.

I can’t imagine you extended an invitation to him. He snuck in while you were focused elsewhere

So Where Did He Come From?

He represents people in your life who were there to love and nurture you, but they brutalized you emotionally and perhaps in other ways.

For the fortunate, this was a rare occurrence. It was a choice born of their occasional frustration. For the unfortunate, this was a daily or even hourly occurrence. For many in the middle, it was a frequent, but not constant occurrence. The voices we hear today are largely the legacy of childhood experiences. They are the voices of parents, teachers, pastors, coaches, the school bully, and more.

But Why?

Do you know someone who believes that the way to lift themselves up is to put someone else down? I think we all know people like that.

Those voices in our head come from people embracing this destructive mentality.

I was never about you. It was always about them.

If they made you responsible for their shortcomings or problems, then they could feel better about themselves.

Perhaps it was a reflection on how they were raised and they didn’t know any differently, and probably they didn’t want to know.

Bottom line, it was all BOGUS. That is on them.

Allowing those voices to remain in your head, means it is now all about you and your choice to allow them to remain in residence there. Not only are they living there rent-free, essentially every time you hear them, you respond, or they impact you, you are paying them to live there. Is that crazy or what?

But What About When I Hear Those Destructive Things in My Voice? Where Does That Come From?

Here is the saddest part of all. When we hear the same destructive phrase repeatedly, we are vulnerable to internalizing it. We accept the idea that we are stupid, or whatever the indictment is, and we internalize it as truth.

Then we hear the destructive tapes cycling round and round it the back of our head as truth. We wouldn’t lie to ourselves, so it must be true.

This is the most destructive tape of all, and it too is BOGUS.

How Do I silence the Voices So I Can Move Forward?

It starts with the recognition that it was about them and not about you. What was going on in their life that might have caused them to decide to abuse you, bully you, or in some matter treat you in a hurtful, unfair manner.

If you don’t know what was going on in their life at that time, then create a plausible scenario based on what you know. Your brain cannot recognize the difference between real and perceived.

Once you have done this, you understand it is bogus and be able to separate and filter out those destructive voices.

Your ability to do that will start immediately, but it is not a one-and-done situation. It is a process you will become more skilled at with time and practice.

You will never be totally free because life will cause new voices to be planted. Here is the really cool thing. You now have a tool you can use on-demand when an old or a new voice appears.

This All Sounds Good But What Does it Have to Do with Fear & Anxiety?

Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash

Unless you are actively being chased by a bear or you are trying to escape a burning building, fear is simply a perception of something that might happen at a future date.

We create stress and agonize over things that probably will never happen. Anxiety is activated by fear, including the fear of the unknown. Those pesky voices telling us what we can’t do are a primary driver of fear and anxiety, and that is keeping you stuck.

Isn’t it time to kick fear and anxiety to the curb and get unstuck? Getting unstuck is the next step on your road to success. So you owe it to yourself to get unstuck now!

If those voices are rooted in your history of childhood sexual abuse, please download this.