Stop Draining The Energy Out Of Yourself By Constant Complaining
If it’s not worth making a change, it’s not worth your time complaining
Do you complain, thinking that venting does you good? You gripe when things go wrong, when your feathers are ruffled, or when you encounter someone’s behavior or actions that you considered to be less than intelligent.
We know everyone is doing the best they can, and it’s fine if you want to make lemonade occasionally from the lemons life throws at you. If you’re a regular lemon magnet, then it’s all on you.
It’s near impossible not to encounter frustration. There’s rarely any shortage of reasons to be dissatisfied. However, treading on this dangerous ground keeps you focused on the bad things in life. It keeps you stuck when you should focus on the steps needed to improve the situation and move forward. It affects your ability to have a fulfilling life. If you always have a legitimate reason to gripe, it’s time to stop being a cantankerous grump and lighten up.
How many times do you focus on actually finding a solution to your agony? Or would you rather put a limit on your happiness by policing the world and nitpicking pedestrians who walk too slowly? While positive thinking is necessary, it rarely works as well as we like.
Your fault-finding radar is a recipe for misery
A good problem solver understands that the definition of a problem influences the solution.
By defining a problem correctly means you’re halfway through to finding a solution. If you are in an unhappy situation that you’re constantly complaining about, and you don’t attempt to change anything, you will most likely remain unhappy.
If a situation isn’t worth making a personal change, it’s not worth the time you spend complaining about it. Our enjoyment and happiness are conscious choices we make. Maybe you’ve been guilty of letting a single negative experience ruin your day by rehearsing what had happened the entire period.
Your fault-finding radar is the ultimate recipe for misery. It acts as a barrier to change. It inhibits growth, promotes whining, and leads you to wallow in emotional turmoil and dissension.
The habit of constantly pointing out others’ faults may be a manifestation of insecurity about the very things you judge them for. If you have difficulty taking responsibility, you likely tend to project onto others.
When you shun responsibility, you acknowledge that you have no control over your life and your circumstances. You end up playing the victim card, hoping a superhero will come in and save the day. But that superhero is you. Shunning responsibility weakens your resolve and certainly doesn’t help to improve the situation. When you fail to take action, you are preventing constructive solutions that will make things better.
Place a demand on yourself
Learn to accept things without resistance. Acknowledge that it might not have gone as you’ve expected. Don’t complain, but wholeheartedly accept the predicament you currently face.
Some people are quick to jump to conclusions. They like to believe they are limited. They believe they could improve their lives if only they had more of this and that. They are sure that luck favors some more than others, so they are quick to defend themselves, to avoid being a sucker and being taken advantage of.
But what if others don’t comply, or perhaps they have a selective perception or viewpoint? They just don’t see what is bugging you so much. Are you likely to spark a battle?
If you’re not happy with where you are or how things are turning out for you, take the time to reflect and change. Place a demand. The demand is most potent when you placed it on you.
Complaining is a beast you need to conquer. When you complain, you convince others that you are not in control. We would love to think that people are on our side and sympathize with our plight, but that’s rarely the case. Nobody respects someone or wants to be around a griper who persistently shuns responsibility and complains when things don’t go as expected.
Complaining is the easy route. Moving forward requires action, and action is hard. People continue to get trapped in a loop of self-sabotage and procrastination. Don’t promote more unhappiness for yourself by complaining and staying in the same state of mind.
Bring your complaining to a screeching halt
If you’re unhappy, take the first step to eliminate the complaint instead of rambling on and on about what’s bothering you. Devote your energy to what you can do to change the situation.
Sometimes there will be no solutions at all, and you’re forced to accept without resistance. In such instances, it’s best to accept how things are and agree that there are elements that are completely out of your hands. If it’s beyond your control, there’s no point in complaining. Instead, focus your efforts on areas that are within your sphere of influence.
Bring your complaining to a screeching halt by implementing curiosity. It helps you to notice and challenge all the critical thoughts that arise either toward yourself or others. It isn’t always easy because we are inherently judgmental, which feeds close-mindedness. Curiosity can help you become a better listener, decrease your defensiveness, and develop more empathy.
We don’t empathize enough because we are not interested in others’ experiences. We don’t care to know how it might differ vastly from ours. We are obsessed with our righteous pursuits that we completely ignore the other person’s unique, and possibly challenging perspective.
What are you complaining about?
When you can escape the chaos of your own mind and start to notice different aspects in the world around you, it deepens your engagement with it. You’ll start appreciating and discovering new hopes and possibilities you otherwise wouldn’t see.
Complaining serves little purpose, except fostering displeasure, spreads negativity, and sparks conflict. Refuse to allow life’s obstacles to keep you from moving forward. Empowerment usually involves making some fundamental changes. As you do this, the need to complain will lessen.
So what in the world are you complaining about?