Stop Doing What Other People Tell You

Just Be You…and Only You

There are so many articles that give legitimate information but do not provide a unique perspective. Why would I read another person’s regurgitation of something I can find from someone else whom I trust?

Half of the time we already know these facts to be true, regardless if there are exact numbers shown. People usually don’t look up ways that something is “healthy or unhealthy” if there isn’t a societal predisposition to feel that way in the first place.

Although this doesn’t necessarily mean that a thing is true, there is no benefit to searching something like that when your intention is to mislead yourself.

Habits are all over the place, some bad and some good. But they are personal, which is significant for my thoughts on this topic.

Using an example of watching television vs. reading books, there is already a problem with the dichotomy. Why only choose one? Can there not be a world in which we do both?

Both television and reading as “habits” can be good. It doesn’t really matter which one is “better” or “more healthy”. The most important this is to make sure that individuals find what works for them.

It has taken me a long time to understand the idea that we truly see the world in different colors than the people we pass walking down the street, watch on television, or even live with.

If every day we try to live someone else’s life, then as we discover, grow, and develop ourselves, that mask will eventually become too tight to fit.

This is the way the world is now, and Medium is, frankly, just as bad as anywhere else. The kinds of things you might see while scrolling here are about “How to improve yourself by doing this one thing”, or these five things, or “solve your problems with just a few easy steps”.

If it were that easy to solve all your problems instead of simply placing a band-aid over them, then no one would haveany problems.

A major problem with humanity now is, unfortunately, the fact that the internet has made literally everything more than accessible, but at our fingertips, a mere click or tap away. Any question? Google it. Tutorial? YouTube.

I don’t know about other people, but sometimes I feel almost like it’s unnecessary to think about anything.

Put a small black screen in front of anyone and they will come away the total opposite of self-sufficient, which may in fact be the downfall of us all one day.

Tangent Time

This is my thought process when I experience this with children. As teachers, we talk about this all the time at school, but children simply don’t know how to think for themselves.

Yes, this is true to some extent in everyone as a child, but COVID only exacerbated these issues with simple things like conflict resolution or taking turns.

When I see parents in grocery stores having their child stare at a screen while they load up on soda and junk food, I think to myself how I plan to raise my own children.

When I was a kid, I did not like going to the grocery store with my mom, but I now know what kinds of things I need when I go grocery shopping.

Riding in the car as a kid, I learned pretty quickly how to get where I needed to go, which roads led where, and how far something was from my house.

Now kids don’t even know their own address, much less what kinds of things their family buys at the grocery store.

My point is that if we just do what other people say and use others’ brains in place of our own, then it doesn’t matter how many articles we read on Medium, or how many self-help books we read, our lives will never change.

If you read that getting up early is the way to omnipresent success, try it just for fun and see if by some miracle, you happen to be the soul mate of the person who wrote that.

Just don’t be surprised if it doesn’t work. This is the part where perspective matters.

Don’t ruin your life trying to mold yourself to be something that does not bring you joy.

If getting up early truly brings you joy, then wonderful. I get up fairly early and it does me pretty good. I have just the right amount of time to do what I need to do and have some time to mentally prepare myself for the day. But 5 AM? 4:30 AM? There is no benefit worth the mental strain for me, so I accept that.

It’s not just getting up early. I hope that’s clear from this. It’s not just watching television, reading books, or writing. It’s what brings you fulfillment.

If you don’t like writing, then why would you waste your time trying to make yourself a writer?

To be honest, I don’t really know what to tell you if you don’t like writing. I do, and I feel proud of what I create, but that isn’t the same for anyone, let alone a universal truth to be applied any and everywhere.

If you don’t like it, don’t do it.

I have talked to many people about things like journaling and meditation (which are two widely recommended habits to try). “I just can’t get into it,” or “It’s hard for me to stick with it” are some things I find people commonly say.

In my personal experience, I like journaling but I do not like meditation.

I spent years trying to figure out a way to make meditation fit into my life, but when I just tried to clear out what I didn’tneed and started honing in on what I did need, I became happier.

Not one person has it all figured out, but everyone has some valuable input. The funny thing is, it isn’t until we hear our own input that it becomes valuable.

I think this is also why a lot of times, the idea sits inside of us that we can give advice to others much more easily than we can take that same advice ourselves.

But, It’s All About Balance

There is a line I don’t want to cross, though. That line is between being carefree and oblivious to the circumstances of oneself and being brave, understanding, and confident.

You must be confident if you are to succeed (oh, look — advice that is easy to give, but hard to take). This means finding yourself, as cliche as that sounds. By this, I mean learn what you like, what you are good at, and ultimately what your priorities are.

Because if it isn’t a priority to you, then you might as well give it up.

Why are other people going to care if you don’t?

For once in some people’s lives, I am suggesting they step back from the togetherness of the world and retreat to the self for a few moments each day. Why? To discover the ego rather than try to change it.

Yes, there are things that we do not like that we have to do at times. I am not saying to become consumed with yourself. I am not even saying to put yourself first.

I am saying that taking time to learn what you need and are capable of consistently is just as important as anything.

Wrapping Up

To be quite honest, I started writing this with no idea where exactly I was going, but I ended in an interesting and very reflective place.

It is interesting how often we compare ourselves like foods, when we don’t always know what is going to make us happy.

The edge of the world is at the horizon. To become independent, we each have to see that edge and what lies below. If you are trusting what someone else says about what they saw, how do you know what is real? What if you see things completely differently and come to an opposing conclusion?

Perspective is the gift that time allows us, so we should take advantage of it. Be different; be self-aware when so many people are just…not.

What else is there to say?

Thank you so much for giving me the time to share my thoughts with you. Learn some more about me below! Feel free to check out my other stories here on Medium, and connect with me on Twitter as well!