Stop Complaining And Start Minding Your Own Business

Just let people be themselves

I watched him quietly. It saddens my heart.

I know I have to let go. I know I have to just let him be.

It’s tough.

Have you ever have to allow someone you love to struggle through life knowing that because they refuse to change, they would have to learn life the hard way?

There are many instances where you don’t agree with what someone is saying. You want to inject your opinion about how they live their life. You struggle to ignore whatever it is they are doing.

How many times have you gotten frustrated at the lack of results for your good intentions?

It’s time to stop. For you to intervene in someone’s life against their will, even if it’s for their own good, requires some manipulation. And that’s not acceptable.

Letting people be who they are is a difficult task. It means accepting the fact that you can’t change their problems for them. It means knowing the obvious answer and can’t do anything about it.

It means watching them go through the same cycle over and over again, at the same time resisting the urge to inject your wise opinion.

It means understanding that everyone learns at their own pace and that no amount of advice would matter if the person is not ready to change.

Acceptance is transformational. But more so for you.

You accept that people will do whatever they feel is right, even if you disagree. It’s a matter of perception. And perception is subjective because the state of things only appears as good or as bad through the lens of the person who views it.

Does it matter if they insist that black is white? Does it matter if they insist that they are right and you are wrong?

It only matters what you think is right for yourself. If you believe that an area requires change, then first of all, accept that the change needs to begin with you.

There are absolutely situations that you want to change. There’s so much you want to do. You wish that they would see the problem. You wish that they would stop making things hard for themselves. You want them to come out of the struggle.

You tried so hard to make things happen and yet, clearly so many things are out of your control. You may believe pushing them into doing what you want them to do is for their own good. But in doing so, you are depriving them of their own experiences.

No one likes to be pushed into conforming. Not even you. So stop undermining someone else’s worth.

Quit pushing. Quit shoveling. Stop digging into the same problem because you’ve been there before and it didn’t work. Accept that everyone is entitled to their own opinions.

There’s not much you can do now except what is in front of you. And that is to change yourself and your reaction.

Practice acceptance.

Embrace imperfection in yourself and others. Accept that everyone has their faults. And not everyone can see through your eyes because they are not you.

Therefore, be willing to let go.

Let go of blame and judgments. When you attempt to change someone, it means you’re inadvertently passing judgments. You show that you know better than them. You push them further away because they don’t feel that you care.

Letting go does not mean you stop caring. It doesn’t mean you are weak or that you’ve given up hope. It doesn’t mean you are quietly holding on to the pain. It does not mean you’re secretly wishing for things to change but somehow believing it wouldn’t.

No.

Letting go means you stop wishing and start accepting. It means releasing the hurt, even though it feels impossible at the moment. It means that you continue to learn that things don’t always go as planned. In fact, they pretty much never do. And that’s okay.

It means practicing gratitude and trusting the process. It’s about letting go of negative emotions and self-limiting beliefs. That includes leaving room for mistakes because that’s part of being human.

It means learning to forgive. Learn to forgive others for not living up to your expectations. And forgive yourself for not being able to make things right, no matter how much you’ve tried.

It requires a strong sense of self. You will learn and grow from the experience. There are always some lessons to learn if you are willing to be open.

Above all, practice unconditional love. Understand that it is necessary to separate the person from the problem. Don’t confuse the human being behind his behavior. Challenge yourself to look beyond an instance of unacceptable behavior in the person you love.

Be intentional to look for the good in them and let them know what you see. Understand the situation from their perspective. As much as it is hard for you, know that it is equally hard for them. Empathize with them and support them.

Continue to give them your love and respect. It makes you feel better about yourself when you treat others the way you hope to be treated. Not everyone is going to repay the favor. Even that should not be your problem.

And then summon all your need to control and focus it all on yourself. Use it for your own self-improvement. Be the best person you can be and disregard any thoughts you have of making others be who you want them to be.

When you start focusing on yourself, everything you see and everyone you interact with becomes a little bit better in every way possible