Stop Being So Freaking Lazy Writers!

If you want to treat your writing as nothing but a hobby then do the rest of us writers and readers a solid and take up putt-putt golf

As one who works damn hard to hone my craft and produce quality work my readers enjoy reading, some of the crap I’ve seen lately coming from a bevy of writers is simply put, pissing me off!

A lot of writers these days seem not willing to do what’s necessary to produce their finest work. They simply spew some shit out of their heads onto the screen without bothering to perform a single edit for grammatical syntax, spelling, and typos. Then they submit —fully expecting an editor to run that shit through the publishing mill and get it in front of the reading community.

They couldn’t care less when an editor of a publication pushes back and says, “whoa there plebe writer. You’ve got a lot of work to do here before we’ll consider publishing this on our site. Try spending a little more quality time with what you just wrote and resubmit to us then we’ll take a look.”

Why? Why doesn’t this bother this particular new writer? Because this new writer will just find another publication that will publish their shit.

The below is an actual exchange. I’ve redacted both the writer and the pub because I don’t want to get my ass in more trouble than I can handle, but I think you’ll get the point.

Hi. Thanks for submitting to . Your post is not quite ready for publication. We need you to make formatting changes to your title, image, headings, pull-out quotes (for emphasis, instead of bolding/italics), and Scripture quotes (make sure to properly format and attribute all of them with the Bible version you are using).

The editor even took time to direct the writer to a link on the publication’s site which offered tips and tricks on how to format according to the pub’s guidelines.

And what does this new writer do?

This writer makes no changes — not a single one — and submits the piece to another publication where they think they have a better chance of getting published without doing any additional work!

A site where I just happen to be an editor. This is bullshit, you lazy writers. Bullshit!

What kind of lazy assed shit is that?

Let me tell you one thing. If an editor goes out of their way to offer suggestions I need to do to get one of my works published, I think I would welcome the suggestions as positive criticism and reexamine my work. Oh, and I’d also tap the link recommended — and do my best to make the freaking changes in accordance with the pub’s guidelines!

It’s an alarming trend I’m seeing of late, this “participation trophy” mentality a lot of publications seem willing to promote. A writer new to the game will never improve, will never learn what quality writing truly is if we in the writing community continue to accept subpar work. First off, it’s not fair to the reading community and more importantly, we are doing these new writers a HUGE disservice.

Here’s another thing.

I believe that not only are a lot of these new writers who are specifically doing this, let’s call it pubbing — bouncing from pub to pub with a single piece of shit — but they’re actually being trained by some of the publications to be conceited and think their work is the greatest thing since the eight-track tape player.

Yeah, these arrogant airheads are being taught to believe they’re writing gods/goddesses and that every other writer, no matter how long they’ve been writing just needs to get the fuck out of the way because there’s a new sheriff in town.

*DISCLAIMER — not all new writers are like these sanctimonious shitheads. I am fortunate to read a ton of new writers who are humble, full of doubt just like all the rest of us, and try really, really hard to produce quality work. Every day they show up and do the hard work of becoming a better writer. To all of you, I say I’m damned proud to know you and read your work.

To the rest of you lazyass wannabes? Come down off your fucking high horse and do the fucking work like the rest of us! Don’t just pour out some drivel, call it “doing the work” and then bounce around from publication to publication until you find a landing spot for your piece of shit nonsense.

If an editor offers suggestions on how to improve your work, they’re not making a social statement on all the warts on your nose and calling you a troll. They’re trying to help you become a better writer!

If you can’t handle the rejection then really, get the hell out of the writer’s kitchen and take up another hobby like putt-putt golf.

Don’t worry if you can’t get the golf ball through the hole because the windmill blade keeps blocking it. Don’t practice until you get the timing just right so you can send that ball straight into the cup. Just give yourself a hole in one and move on.

It’s practically what you’re doing here.

Thank you so much for reading. You didn’t have to, but I’m certainly glad you did.

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© P.G. Barnett, 2020. All Rights Reserved.