Stimming is Good For You
And everyone does it!
I was recently diagnosed with ADHD. Luckily, it was a relatively easy process for me with a little bit of psychiatrist-searching and self-advocation. I am white and young, and I am sure that helped with getting a diagnosis. What also helped was the attempt from my previous psych provider to treat my fatigue with a stimulant half a year ago, and it helped me calm down and focus. I told my new provider, and she nodded.
“Gotcha,” she nodded. She sent a prescription for Concerta to my pharmacy that same day. She decreased it at my follow-up appointment because the 10mg made me sleepy.
In the light of my diagnosis, and even before it, I noticed just how much of my behavior could be explained by ADHD. The biggest thing about ADHD (and neurodivergence in general) that I appreciate is self-regulatory behavior, aka stimming.
Stimming is fun and awesome, and everybody does it at some point. Have you ever been nervous and started twisting your hair or playing with your jewelry? That’s stimming. It’s a physical response to more intense emotions, such as anxiety, and it’s a way to regulate those emotions so that they don’t overwhelm you.
Children do it the most, even if they aren’t neurodivergent. Some grow out of doing it often, and most adults have just a couple of habits that could be considered stimming.
I do it a lot. When I was younger, I used pacifiers and other objects and chewed on them when I was anxious. I have bounced my leg for as long as I can remember when I’m sitting. As I grew older, I started wearing rings because I found that fidgeting with them was pleasant and something I could play with to help me focus. I currently wear three rings, and the one I play with the most is the rose ring on my left ring finger. (It was less than $3, and I’ve had it for almost eight years. I love that thing.) I also play with my hair, tug on my earlobes, rock back and forth, and pace. I’ve done these things for years. Some I do when I’m more anxious, others when I need stimulation.
Stimming is fun. I would even go so far as to say that stimming is necessary. Doing small things like humming, fidgeting, or hand/foot tapping is so harmless and can be a great way to regulate stress. (Some ways of stemming, though, such as head banging or face slapping, may be considered self-injurious behavior, and it’s okay to redirect that person into something safer.)
My parents never made disparaging comments or tried to reduce my stimming, even though they didn’t know that’s what it was. Instead, they smiled, called me weird in the most affectionate way possible, and sometimes they joined in. To me, this was bonding. I also think there’s a chance one of my parents is neurodivergent as well, which could explain why none of my behaviors were ever considered weird when I was home.
The only time that it became a problem was when I started rocking back and forth next to my mom, and she complained that it made her dizzy. So I either stopped and stimmed another way or left the room to do it elsewhere.
If you’re a parent of a kid who stims a lot, don’t ask, “how do I get them to stop stimming?” because the answer is you shouldn’t. Stimming is helpful, and everybody does it. However, if you notice your child stimming a lot more than normal, and they seem to possibly be in distress, the stimming may be a sign of something wrong.
Take your child to the doctor if you think this might be the case. Stimming is not the problem; it’s the band-aid keeping your child from losing it.
In my opinion, stimming is good for you. If it’s something small that helps you from breaking down, why would anyone want to take that away from you?
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Thanks for reading!
