Steve Jobs Would Be Ashamed At Apple’s Prerecorded Covid-Style Keynotes

Call me old school, but these stone-cold prerecorded Covid-style Apple Keynotes are just not doing it for me anymore.

Apple, I love you.

You know I do.

But I miss you.

The real you.

The you that had a twinkle in your eye, a spring in your step.

• You who pulled out Macbooks out of envelopes.
• You who made the first bendable phone.
• You who couldn’t unlock the FaceID on stage with the bright lights.

Congrats. Your iPhone 15 Keynote is perfect.

Too perfect.

It’s like a cup of tea that’s been steeped too long, losing its zest and zeal.

I can’t quite put my finger on it.

The word that comes to mind.

Staged.

It is no longer the highlight of my year it once was.

Steve would be ashamed.

Apple’s Keynote glory days

Oh, how the mighty have graced the stage with a finesse that left us all in awe. Let’s rewind to a time when Apple’s keynotes were the epitome of innovation and showmanship, a time when the anticipation built up to a crescendo that reverberated across the globe.

The unveiling of the iPhone (2007)

First stop, 2007. Picture Steve Jobs, the maestro himself, orchestrating the grand reveal of the first iPhone.

A moment that not only reshaped the tech industry but left an indelible mark on history. The crowd hung on to every word, every gesture, as Steve unveiled a device that was about to revolutionize our world.

It wasn’t just a product launch; it was a spectacle, a masterclass in storytelling and presentation.

“One More Thing…” (Various Occasions)

Next, we saunter through a series of “One more thing…” moments, a signature Steve maneuver that kept audiences on the edge of their seats.

This clever tactic of saving a surprise announcement for the end became a hallmark of Apple’s keynotes, embodying the innovation and excitement that Apple was known for.

The MacBook Air Emerges (2008)

Fast forward to 2008, and we find ourselves witnessing the birth of the MacBook Air.

In a move that showcased Apple’s penchant for drama and flair, Steve pulled the ultra-thin laptop out of a manila envelope, leaving the audience gasping and applauding in equal measure.

It was a testament to Apple’s commitment to pushing the boundaries of what was possible.

The iPad takes center stage (2010)

In 2010, the stage was set for another groundbreaking moment. The unveiling of the iPad, a device that bridged the gap between smartphones and laptops, was met with awe and wonder.

It was a glimpse into the future, a testament to Apple’s relentless pursuit of innovation.

A shift in dynamics

Yet, here we stand, in an era where the live, electrifying keynotes have been replaced by polished, prerecorded presentations. The spontaneity, the raw energy, the palpable excitement — all seem to be fading into the annals of history.

In the grand scheme of things, one might argue that the essence of Apple’s innovation remains intact. But for those of us who yearned for those live, unscripted moments of sheer brilliance, the transition feels somewhat — lackluster.

I just don’t think Steve would have approved.

It is not about Covid. It is about control.

In a world obsessed with control, Apple stands tall.

A beacon of sheer precision.

They shy away from the social media frenzy.

A deliberate choice, not a mere oversight.

They craft their own narrative, steering clear of online chaos. It’s a bold, calculated move. A silent nod to mastery in a noisy world.

A tight grip on the narrative

Apple’s almost ghostly presence on social media isn’t just a fluke. Oh no, it’s a masterstroke in maintaining a narrative as tightly controlled as a top-secret recipe. This isn’t just about dodging the chaos of Twitter debates; it’s about crafting a saga with the precision of a Swiss watch.

And these prerecorded keynotes? They’re not just a child of the pandemic era, but a blossoming of Apple’s love affair with control. Picture a ballet, where every leap and twirl is choreographed to perfection, leaving no room for a misstep, not a hair out of place.

Sure, the pandemic nudged Apple in this direction, but to say it’s the only reason would be missing the mark. Apple, always one step ahead of the game, has embraced the art of the edit, the polish, the chance to present a version of themselves as sleek and unblemished as a brand-new iPhone. It’s a controlled masterpiece, but perhaps, just perhaps, we miss the raw sketches that used to grace the canvas.

Perfection is a double-edged sword

On one hand, it allows Apple to craft a narrative that is polished to a mirror shine, a showcase of technological prowess and innovation. On the other, it risks losing the human touch, the connection that comes with witnessing a live event, flaws, and all.

Apple, I ask one thing of you.

Bring back the magic, the verve, the live stage keynotes that once captivated audiences worldwide.

Let’s rekindle that spark, that connection that made us feel a part of something truly monumental. After all, perfection has its place, but sometimes, it’s the imperfections that make us truly remarkable.

Let’s get back to the real you, Apple.

The one we fell in love with.

So come on.

Bring back (actual) live Keynotes.