avatarFarshid Wahdat

Summary

Robert J. Sternberg's 1987 theory of love is presented, which conceptualizes love as a triangle composed of intimacy, passion, and decision/commitment, leading to eight types of love with varying levels of happiness.

Abstract

The article discusses Sternberg's Theory of Love, which addresses the complex nature of love by breaking it down into three components: intimacy, passion, and decision/commitment. Intimacy is described as the emotional bond and connection between individuals, encompassing elements like mutual understanding and emotional support. Passion involves the physical and mental attraction that fuels excitement and longing. Decision/commitment refers to the choice to love and the dedication to maintain the relationship. Sternberg posits that these components combine in different proportions to form eight distinct types of love, each with its unique characteristics and potential for happiness. The theory aims to clarify the often misunderstood concept of love by providing a scientific framework for its analysis.

Opinions

  • The author suggests that love is a challenging concept to define due to the lack of a universally accepted theory.
  • Sternberg's theory is highlighted as a significant contribution to the understanding of love, emphasizing its scientific perspective.
  • The article implies that the equal presence of all three components of love in a relationship is rare, suggesting that most relationships exhibit an imbalance in intimacy, passion, and commitment.
  • It is conveyed that different combinations of the three components result in various types of love, some of which are more fulfilling than others.
  • The author appears to value Sternberg's theory for its ability to provide insight into the nature of love and its potential to help individuals understand their own relationships better.
Image by the author

Sternberg’s Theory of Love (a different story)

Types of Love from a Scientific Perspective

Since love is an ethereal concept, putting it into words is probably one of the hardest things to achieve. This is due to the lack of a widely recognized theory even about the nature of love. In the world of love, there has always been uncertainty and misunderstanding.

Robert J. Sternberg’s theories are notable among the major theories of love. Sternberg proposed a theory in 1987 where he represented love as a triangle. According to him, love consists of three components: intimacy, passion, and decision or commitment.

Image by the author

The three components of love in Sternberg’s theory

The first component of love: Intimacy Sternberg considers this phrase as indicating emotions of closeness, despite its own varied interpretations. Thus, intimacy forms the essence of love. According to Sternberg’s research, ten different components make up intimacy with a loving person: 1- Desire for the well-being of the beloved person 2- Experiencing happiness with him/her 3- Paying close attention to him/her 4- Being able to rely on the beloved person in times of need 5- Mutual understanding 6- Sharing personal matters with him/her 7- Receiving emotional support from him/her 8- Providing emotional support to him/her 9- Establishing an intimate relationship with the beloved person 10- Respecting him/her

The second component of love: Excitement and Longing (Passion)

The second component is longing and excitement, which are motivated by satisfying mental and physical interactions with the beloved and are based on sensual desires and physical attractions. There is a motivating component to this dimension.

The third component of love: Decision/Commitment

The component involves conscious and unconscious decisions to love and commit to maintaining a relationship, including short-term and long-term commitments. It involves prioritizing the relationship over other relationships, ensuring exclusivity and commitment.

Image by the author

Types of love in Sternberg’s theory

Sternberg believes that the existence of each component varies in romantic relationships and that all three elements of love rarely come together equally in a person. He continues to state that intimacy, passion, and decision/commitment come together to form eight distinct kinds of love, each with unique traits, benefits, and drawbacks. However, some kinds of love are linked to greater levels of happiness than others.

According to Sternberg’s love triangle, the types of love are comprised of:

Types of love, image by author

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