Free AI web copilot to create summaries, insights and extended knowledge, download it at here

Abstract

d those costs.<h1 id="0bcb">2. “Could you send me a detailed proposal by XXX?”</h1>Toxic clients who ask for this want you to write a detailed proposal for them free-of-charge. Once they’ve got it, they’re done with you.I’ve dealt with these toxic clients in the past when I was a subcontractor bidding for a piece of work on a bigger contract. Frequently, the toxic client doing this is a consultant at a higher level on the food chain.These toxic clients aren’t interested in commissioning you for the work. They have someone else in mind. But they’d like to have your proposal to show to their bosses they’d conducted a “complete market survey.”If you’ve done an outstanding job on the proposal, they might even pass it on to their favoured subcontractor who, by the way, won’t be you.<h2 id="85d8">How to deal with them</h2>Tell your toxic client that you aren’t able to prepare a detailed proposal because the effort required to do so is substantial and, thus, needs to be considered billable hours.Propose writing a teaser proposal as a workaround. The teaser proposal falls far short of a detailed proposal.The teaser proposal only summarises the work that you need to do to resolve the client’s problem. It will still be a valuable document that proposes a solution for the client. But it won’t be a detailed specification of what you will do.It’s tempting to put in more effort than necessary since you want to put the end client’s interests first. This is the temptation your toxic client plans to exploit.But you need to safeguard your interests, too. After all, teasers don’t pay the bills.<h1 id="d3a0">3. “Could you do just this one more little thing?”</h1>Some scope creep in project work is unavoidable. Conditions can transform from the time they commissioned the project.The toxic client will use scope creep as an excuse to squeeze out more work from you without paying. “Just one more little thing” is a manipulative argument that exploits the <a href="https://thedecisionlab.com/biases/the-sunk-cost-fallacy/">sunk-cost fallacy</a>.After all, you’ve already done all this work, what’s wrong with just one more little thing?<h2 id="9c54">How to deal with them</h2>Organise a one-on-one meeting with the client to ensure that you are both on the same page regarding the project. Remind the client you had signed off on the original scope. Any out-of-scope revisions will, therefore, need to be paid per your billing rate.The client hired you to be the expert in delivering the project. You used that expertise to deliver a proposal to the client that would satisfy all their objectives, given all the information you had.You should be amenable to changing the scope of work if the conditions change unforeseen. But if the client is adamant about expanding the scope without paying for it, they are a toxic client and reassess the parameters of the relationship.<h1 id="e68a">4. The brainstormer</h1>This toxic client doesn’t really know what they want. Instead, they look for someone to clarify to them what they should be getting.So, they want you to come in to brainstorm “the opportunity.” Like being in a desert, this toxic client will present a grandiose plan that promises to be a magnificent opportunity, only to turn out a mirage.This toxic client isn’t sure whether they need something or want s

Options

omething. So, they look to bounce ideas off someone. It might as well be you. After all, it’s not like they need to pay you anything, right? You’ll get great exposure, right?As the late great Maya Angelou said:Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.<h2 id="0c19">How to deal with them</h2>This toxic client will show you mirage after mirage if you let them have the chance. They don’t actually need anything you’re offering. They just love hearing the sound of their own voice.To see if your client is toxic, you will need to cut off the discussion (politely). Tell them you’ll send them a teaser proposal containing a summary of the discussion and the proposed next steps. Include a cost estimate in your teaser proposal.A cost estimate is a powerful tool in convincing brainstormers that you mean business. You’re not a sounding board for their fanciful ideas.If the client calls you back to discuss costing and defining the scope of the project, you might have a serious client on your hands.But if your client ghosts you, pat yourself on the back for avoiding wasting more time on a toxic client.<h1 id="80c5">5. The gaslighter</h1>It’s never their fault. It’s yours. You should feel bad for trying to blame them.The gaslighter uses emotional manipulation to get what they want. They know their organisation is bigger and richer than you. They browbeat and threaten you to get you to acquiesce to their demands.The gaslighter pulls out some common threats to get you to do their bidding. They know everyone in the industry. They will make sure you never find work in the industry again.These threats are meant to play on your insecurities as a beginning freelancer. If you let the gaslighter get to you, you’ll feel that you can’t make it because you’re young, inexperienced, and other players will eat you alive.<h2 id="f78e">How to deal with them</h2>The fact of the matter is, most experienced freelancers are also winging it as they go along. Nobody knows all there is to know in the field. We all have to knuckle down and do some extensive research to bridge the gap between what we know and what the client needs to solve their problem.If the solution were obvious, the client wouldn’t have looked for a consultant to help them out.Don’t let the gaslighters get to you. Recognise that these tactics are meant to put fear into you so that they can manipulate you to do their bidding.Most times*, the gaslighters don’t have that much pull over the industry to shut you out completely. In many cases*, even if the gaslighter tries disseminating malicious rumours about you, people in the industry won’t care. They know what the gaslighter is like and will discount their words accordingly.If it gets too much for you, terminate the toxic client relationship immediately. You might have to take a loss on the work you’ve already done. In most cases, the money won’t be worth the ongoing mental damage the gaslighter can cause you.* Caveat: This won’t be true in all cases. For example, the felon Harvey Weinstein weaponised gaslighting to intimidate the people he abused into silence. In some cases, gaslighters really are influential enough to shut you out of an industry. This makes it even more important to get out of any toxic relationship with them.</article></body>

THE FREELANCING BUSINESS

Steal My Plan for Cutting out These 5 Toxic Clients From Your Life

These toxic client behaviours will ruin your freelancing business if you let them.

Freelancing and remote working were already becoming more on-trend without COVID-19 floating around. More and more people are coming on board, resulting in an influx of new freelancers into the workforce.

If you’re one of them, it’s OK to feel a little impostor syndrome. The feeling is even stronger if you’re a solo freelancer. All the clients you pitch your services to will be from larger organisations than yours. All of them will be richer than you are. Very often, they’ll be both.

You start feeling intimidated. You begin to think you don’t deserve a place at the table.

You’ll be forgiven for giving in to these feelings of inadequacy.

The trouble is toxic clients who’ve had years of experience dealing with freelancers can smell the inadequacy from a mile away. Toxic clients are ruthless in getting what they want.

Toxic clients will pounce at any opportunity if they notice your guard is down. Once they get you, toxic clients will get whatever they want from you. You’d be lucky if they left any crumbs behind for you.

I’ve completed quite a few trips around the sun as a freelancer and have had my share of experiences with toxic clients.

So, here’s a few red flags that should warn you that you’ve got a toxic client on your hands.

I’ll also be sharing with you some tips on how to handle these toxic clients if you find yourself entangled with one.

1. “I can’t pay, but you’ll get great exposure.”

Toxic clients throw this manipulative bait out, hoping that you’d take it out of desperation. But, if you do, you will get neither money nor exposure.

Why? Because, if the toxic client doesn’t respect you enough to pay you a fair wage for your work, they don’t respect you enough to give you a good reference.

The only time they’d refer to you is when they get together and brag about how they “convinced a clueless freelancer” to give them free work.

We can all do with better exposure for our work. Doubly so if we’re new. But the best exposure comes from clients who advocate your work to their clients.

Not a toxic client who will milk you for free work at any chance they get.

How to deal with them

Don’t dismiss the client out of hand. Start negotiating. There can be legitimate reasons that clients can’t pay your initial quote, such as a budget freeze.

Tell the client you appreciate that they have a tight budget. Propose reducing your quotation to accommodate their difficulties as they are a first-time client. If they won’t budge, suggest reducing the scope of work to reflect the lower rates.

If they still insist on paying you only for exposure, tell them nicely but firmly that you cannot work under those circumstances because you have fixed costs that you need to pay. Tell them you can’t do pro bono work until you’ve covered those costs.

2. “Could you send me a detailed proposal by XXX?”

Toxic clients who ask for this want you to write a detailed proposal for them free-of-charge. Once they’ve got it, they’re done with you.

I’ve dealt with these toxic clients in the past when I was a subcontractor bidding for a piece of work on a bigger contract. Frequently, the toxic client doing this is a consultant at a higher level on the food chain.

These toxic clients aren’t interested in commissioning you for the work. They have someone else in mind. But they’d like to have your proposal to show to their bosses they’d conducted a “complete market survey.”

If you’ve done an outstanding job on the proposal, they might even pass it on to their favoured subcontractor who, by the way, won’t be you.

How to deal with them

Tell your toxic client that you aren’t able to prepare a detailed proposal because the effort required to do so is substantial and, thus, needs to be considered billable hours.

Propose writing a teaser proposal as a workaround. The teaser proposal falls far short of a detailed proposal.

The teaser proposal only summarises the work that you need to do to resolve the client’s problem. It will still be a valuable document that proposes a solution for the client. But it won’t be a detailed specification of what you will do.

It’s tempting to put in more effort than necessary since you want to put the end client’s interests first. This is the temptation your toxic client plans to exploit.

But you need to safeguard your interests, too. After all, teasers don’t pay the bills.

3. “Could you do just this one more little thing?”

Some scope creep in project work is unavoidable. Conditions can transform from the time they commissioned the project.

The toxic client will use scope creep as an excuse to squeeze out more work from you without paying. “Just one more little thing” is a manipulative argument that exploits the sunk-cost fallacy.

After all, you’ve already done all this work, what’s wrong with just one more little thing?

How to deal with them

Organise a one-on-one meeting with the client to ensure that you are both on the same page regarding the project. Remind the client you had signed off on the original scope. Any out-of-scope revisions will, therefore, need to be paid per your billing rate.

The client hired you to be the expert in delivering the project. You used that expertise to deliver a proposal to the client that would satisfy all their objectives, given all the information you had.

You should be amenable to changing the scope of work if the conditions change unforeseen. But if the client is adamant about expanding the scope without paying for it, they are a toxic client and reassess the parameters of the relationship.

4. The brainstormer

This toxic client doesn’t really know what they want. Instead, they look for someone to clarify to them what they should be getting.

So, they want you to come in to brainstorm “the opportunity.” Like being in a desert, this toxic client will present a grandiose plan that promises to be a magnificent opportunity, only to turn out a mirage.

This toxic client isn’t sure whether they need something or want something. So, they look to bounce ideas off someone. It might as well be you. After all, it’s not like they need to pay you anything, right? You’ll get great exposure, right?

As the late great Maya Angelou said:

Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.

How to deal with them

This toxic client will show you mirage after mirage if you let them have the chance. They don’t actually need anything you’re offering. They just love hearing the sound of their own voice.

To see if your client is toxic, you will need to cut off the discussion (politely). Tell them you’ll send them a teaser proposal containing a summary of the discussion and the proposed next steps. Include a cost estimate in your teaser proposal.

A cost estimate is a powerful tool in convincing brainstormers that you mean business. You’re not a sounding board for their fanciful ideas.

If the client calls you back to discuss costing and defining the scope of the project, you might have a serious client on your hands.

But if your client ghosts you, pat yourself on the back for avoiding wasting more time on a toxic client.

5. The gaslighter

It’s never their fault. It’s yours. You should feel bad for trying to blame them.

The gaslighter uses emotional manipulation to get what they want. They know their organisation is bigger and richer than you. They browbeat and threaten you to get you to acquiesce to their demands.

The gaslighter pulls out some common threats to get you to do their bidding. They know everyone in the industry. They will make sure you never find work in the industry again.

These threats are meant to play on your insecurities as a beginning freelancer. If you let the gaslighter get to you, you’ll feel that you can’t make it because you’re young, inexperienced, and other players will eat you alive.

How to deal with them

The fact of the matter is, most experienced freelancers are also winging it as they go along. Nobody knows all there is to know in the field. We all have to knuckle down and do some extensive research to bridge the gap between what we know and what the client needs to solve their problem.

If the solution were obvious, the client wouldn’t have looked for a consultant to help them out.

Don’t let the gaslighters get to you. Recognise that these tactics are meant to put fear into you so that they can manipulate you to do their bidding.

Most times*, the gaslighters don’t have that much pull over the industry to shut you out completely. In many cases*, even if the gaslighter tries disseminating malicious rumours about you, people in the industry won’t care. They know what the gaslighter is like and will discount their words accordingly.

If it gets too much for you, terminate the toxic client relationship immediately. You might have to take a loss on the work you’ve already done. In most cases, the money won’t be worth the ongoing mental damage the gaslighter can cause you.

* Caveat: This won’t be true in all cases. For example, the felon Harvey Weinstein weaponised gaslighting to intimidate the people he abused into silence. In some cases, gaslighters really are influential enough to shut you out of an industry. This makes it even more important to get out of any toxic relationship with them.