‘Staying still scares me’: Why YouTube rap star KSI quit alcohol
I never thought a mega-popular UK rapper and YouTuber would perfectly describe what drove me to quit alcohol, but here we are.
That rapper, KSI, did an interview this week with the Daily Mirror in which he discusses why he quit alcohol after last year’s BRIT Awards.
In it, he told the newspaper that alcohol changed who he was as a person, and he didn’t like who that person was.
“I was trying to fill a void with fame and success — trying to live a certain lifestyle, like an old school rapper with girls all around me throwing money around and going clubbing.
“I had money and fame, but also a lot of baggage.
“I realized that’s not me — that what matters is having a purpose, friends and family, being fit and healthy, working hard.”
To be perfectly honest, I’ve never heard KSI perform.
I’ve never heard any of his music, either (though I’ll look some up when I’m done writing this article).
Actually, I’ve never come across his work on YouTube either.
But I do know who he is, and we do have common ground: he’s a restless (possibly ADHD?), creative entrepreneur who no longer wants to limit his potential with booze.

KSI in his Prime
The reason I knew who he was before I even came across the aforementioned article is that I see his face every time I walk into our local convenience store in Canada.
KSI is co-founder, with megastar fighter and YouTube star Logan Paul, of Prime energy drink. Their images adorn the promotional poster on the front glass.
Prime isn’t like Red Bull or Monster, it’s more like a low- or zero-sugar electrolyte beverage. The Canadian equivalent is Biosteel, which is massive in the hockey world.
Anyway, to give you an idea of how big a success this is for KSI, the demand so out-stripped the supply here that the moment any of it showed up in store, kids would fill their backpacks with it and sell it at school at a huge markup.
I overheard my nine-year-old son and his friend saying one kid at school had raked in $500.
Despite his YouTube success, despite his fledgling music career, KSI is always looking for new ways to challenge himself (and maybe make a few bucks along the way).
While that restlessness and creative energy can be a gift, it can also be a curse.
Believe me, I know.
Musicians choosing sobriety
I used alcohol excessively for a few reasons, two of which KSI touches on in the article.
The first: pretending to be someone I wasn’t.
I’m an introvert, and as I wrote in this story this week, I came to realize that one of the reasons I drank was because I was taught that being quiet and keeping to myself was a character flaw.
I drank to become who I thought others wanted me to be.
For KSI, that meant getting wasted and trying to live the “old school rapper” lifestyle.
Now, he told the Mirror, he’s happier staying home, staying sober, and doing a 1,000-piece jigsaw puzzle (seriously!).
The second: slowing my active brain down instead of letting it flourish.
Honestly, being an ADHD creative can be exhausting.
My brain doesn’t have an off switch. Actually, it doesn’t even have a natural brake pedal.
In the past, I would slow it down the only way I knew how: by drinking.
That would allow me to do things most people consider “normal”, like sitting on my butt for three hours watching TV (this kind of thing was impossible for me without alcohol).
When I made the decision to cut out daily drinking, I also had to decide that I was going to live my life my way even if it upset people.
I would be less social and more protective of my time. I would go to the gym and write and make videos and create things.
In some sick way, I was using alcohol to prevent myself from reaching my potential.
That’s over.
And I’m encouraged to see more and more successful people are being loud and proud about shaking off the chains of alcohol so they too can reach their goals and dreams.
A few months ago, I wrote about how rapper Jack Harlow had quit boozing at age 24. He told Rolling Stone magazine:
“I’m sick of waking up with a dry throat, sick of feeling bloated, I’m sick of the decisions I make on it.
“I’m in my well-oiled-machine era, because I can see my future right in front of me, and I feel there’s so many people counting on me outside of myself.”
And KSI is a great illustration of that too, as the Mirror quotes him saying:
“I don’t think I’m talented at all. I’ve just worked hard. I believe everything is down to belief, focus, determination, and hard work, not talent.”
“I’m addicted to the unknown … I have lots I want to achieve. The idea of staying still scares me.”
I couldn’t have said it better myself.
Friends, thanks a bunch for reading this post all the way to the end! If you enjoyed it or found it inspiring, please take a moment to give it some claps and let me know in the comments!
My most-read posts:
- I quit alcohol for one month and my side hustle income exploded
- Do these 4 exercises and you’ll be in the best shape of your life
- The one priceless book that kicked off my quit alcohol journey
- Gary Oldman explains why it’s never too late to quit alcohol
- When alcohol trapped Gwyneth Paltrow
The latest from me:
- The trauma of being an introverted child
- Quitting alcohol as a status symbol
- ‘Cali Sober’ is a road to ruin
- Is ‘99% sober’ a realistic goal?
- ‘I’m actually gonna ruin my life’: why Bradley Cooper quit alcohol
Subscribe to get an email every time I publish so you don’t miss a story!
Have you found Medium via this story but aren’t yet a member? Did you know membership starts at just $5 a month (and you can cancel any time)? There’s no risk and you get access to all Medium has to offer. To continue reading stories like this and give me a ‘lil kickback, please consider supporting this publication directly by using my link to sign up! You can also leave a tip using the button below if you enjoyed this article!





