Start 2021 with The 3 Things You Are In Control of
The 3 Ps to Hold By
Through the past few years and especially in 2020, I became more and more aware of how my own thoughts are hindering my own growth and healing. I also realized that so much of our unnecessary stresses come from things that are actually not in our control. Why don’t we focus on things that we can control instead? And what are those things?
It was through the process of having a strong desire to change things for the better that I discovered beautiful things like Positive Psychology and fell in love with brain science, learning how powerful our subconscious minds are, and how we can redirect it to change the outlook of our lives.
I am introducing you to the 3 Ps that I am holding by this year to catch myself out of any negative thoughts. We all may have come across concepts like ‘what you think is what you get’, but by having a clear vision of how they interrelate, you will be able to see how your thoughts have the power to dictate how you carry yourself and what choices and actions you make.
1. Purposeful thoughts
Let’s start with our minds, the fertile land to cultivate thoughts. Whatever you put in there will populate and grow, be it good or bad, so let it be the most constructive and supportive thoughts you can have for yourself. Why grow weeds for yourself when you can grow beautiful flowers?
It may not be so easy at first as we run on autopilot and the brain will default to its usual pattern of thinking, with the path of least resistance. But if we set the intention to plant positive thoughts like ‘I am capable’, ‘This is temporary’ and always choose alternative views in difficult situations, your mind will slowly get used to this new pathway and it will become easier and easier to choose supportive thoughts until it eventually becomes automatic.
2. Purposeful words
It’s not just the thoughts that counts, it’s also the words, the language, and how you speak to yourself. Many of us house a critical self in us, constantly doubting, putting ourselves down without us even thinking about it. This behavior and development stem a lot from our childhood and experiences throughout our lives that we have subconsciously given meaning to it.
It could have been the teacher that told you ‘not good enough’, or the kid at school that always made fun of you… All of our past experiences shape us to respond the way we do as adults, where we can often be overly critical of ourselves. The good news is, we all have the power in our hands to change that and consciously choose how we want to treat ourselves, and how we speak to ourselves.
Choose wisely and choose empowering thoughts. Drop the ‘ I can’t..’ and self-doubts. With every self-doubting statement, add a ‘yet’ to it and this simple word immediately shifts the whole perspective to be more supportive and empowering. For example, we often say statements like ‘I can’t write, I can’t draw…’ This is not helpful at all when we are learning or trying something new, and will only leave us feeling frustrated and demotivated.
By adding the word yet, ‘ I can’t write YET ’, it focuses on the possibilities and affirms that this challenge you are facing is only part of the process, where you will develop the skills to write, and get better and better at it. This simple word can be the difference it makes to opening up the potential of the writer in you.
3. Purposeful actions
We are creating ourselves each day through purposeful thoughts and words that lead to purposeful actions. Many people are often too fixated on the outcomes and lose joy and learnings during the process of self-discovery. ‘Finding our purpose’ is not a final destination, but a constant exploration, discovery, and growth of who you are becoming. It’s about the state of BEING.
It is the daily thoughts and words that you choose that can shape your entire journey and outlook. It is those purposeful thoughts and supportive language that can allow a child to keep practicing, and not give up on their piano lessons, the supportive self-talk that determines whether you take action- to whether you pick up the pen to write, draw, etc…
It is those strong beliefs and purposeful practices that you have built that will guide you to the place where you belong. Starting with purposeful thoughts and words you choose for yourself that can lead you to purposeful actions, which can lead you to become the greatest writer, artist, engineer, or whoever you choose to be.
I took the time to digest 2020 and there was so much that I was trying to control but struggling to. I fell into a trap of allowing external circumstances to control my thoughts and emotions. It’s time to choose a new narrative for 2021, where I will guide myself through purposeful thoughts, words, and actions that will empower me to become who I was truly meant to be.