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Abstract

978">My daughter quickly assured me that we were not in any threat of apocalyptic war, that those sirens were the tornado sirens. She ordered me to follow her little family down into the basement. (I’m a good father. When my daughter orders me to do something I do it.)I quickly learned that those loud, obnoxious sirens go off whenever there is an imminent threat of a tornado. I also soon learned that those incredibly loud sirens go off the first Monday of every month. That is when they test the sirens to make sure they are working properly. Many a time over the last seven years I have been quietly sitting at my desk writing away like a maniac when suddenly the sirens go off. The first thing I do is look out the window to see a beautiful cloudless blue sky. I then realize that it is the first Monday of the month.But when I look out the window after the tornado sirens go off and I see that it is dark and cloudy and stormy and I realize that it is NOT the first Monday of the month, the first thing I do is turn on the radio. I have a little radio that is set to the local radio station that gives all the latest information about weather and tornadoes.Many decades ago I used to listen to the radio all the time. I never drove in my car without the radio on. Many of the countless jobs that I’ve had had radios playing all the time. Home alone, I would often turn on the radio to somehow connect with the rest of humanity.Now, so many decades later, I can’t stand listening to the radio! Sure, occasionally one can hear a song one likes but in the interim one must listen to numerous songs one does not care for, and worse to obnoxious DJs talking incessantly or to stupid, stupid commercials. Who can stand all that disgusting noise? I sure can’t!I never listen to the radio — well, almost never. I can’t stand radio. I prefer silence or birdsong. I prefer a silent mind, uncluttered with noise. If, on those rare occasions when I listen to music, I’ll pick the music rather than some local yokel DJ. I find that listening to the radio is very distorting to the vibrations I wish to maintain. It’s just a bunch of numbing noise!But then there was that time six years ago. I had recently discharged myself from the local hospital. I was temporarily living in a government subsidized housing project because of my status as a cancer patient who was scheduled to die within six months. (I eventually had to move out because I refused to die.)I was sitting at my desk furiously typing away at my laptop one day when suddenly the tornado sirens went off. My first reaction was to look at the calendar. It was most definitely NOT the first Monday of the month. I then saved my work on the laptop then turned on the radio. The weather service was saying that a massive thunderstorm was slowly moving across the town in which I was living; a thunderstorm that was very likely to produce a tornado. We were under a severe tornado alert.My next reaction was to go outside to check it out. I went out to the parking lot of the complex and took a 360 degree panoramic view of the sky. It was alarming. There were massive very dark clouds moving over me. It was windy and it was sprinkling. I then noticed that a lot of people living in the complex had also come outside to look up into the sky. Is that what people were supposed to do after the tornado sirens went off?Then I noticed that a lot of people were suddenly po

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inting up into the sky directly over our heads. And that is when I looked directly upwards and saw something that I had never seen before.While the storm system was slowly moving from the southwest to the northeast above me, I noticed that directly overhead there was one part of the storm that was moving independently. There was one small patch of the sky that was moving in a circular fashion. Small wispy dark clouds that were somewhat lower than the overhead clouds were moving in a circular motion around a clear, light portion. And the circular motion of these clouds seemed to be descending towards the ground.One of my first thoughts was, Wow, is this like when you die? You’re suddenly looking into a tunnel with white light at the end of it?That is what it looked like. The circular motion of the dark clouds swirling around the light, still center were intensifying and it was descending towards the ground.I suddenly realized that a tornado was forming DIRECTLY OVER MY HEAD!I looked down and quickly realized that all the people standing on the sidewalks and in the parking lots were now furiously rushing back indoors.Not me. I stood there utterly transfixed staring, once again, back up into the sky directly over my head. I was watching a tornado being born!And the tornado was DIRECTLY OVER MY HEAD! And it was moving down directly towards me!I simply could not move. This was one of the most incredible acts of nature that I had ever witnessed. It was mind-blowing!The logic and reasoning left-half of my brain was telling me that the storm system was moving over me. While the tornado was forming directly over my head there was a period of time before it hit the ground. By the time that happened the storm system will have moved over me enough that the tornado would not touch ground directly on my noggin but rather some degree of distance in relation to the direction the storm was moving. I figured it would not touch ground until it was perhaps a mile or so further to the northeast. This human logic and reasoning kept me firmly implanted on the parking lot looking skyward.And then, rather abruptly, the furiously spinning motion in the sky started to slow down. The clouds that had been caught up in the whirlwind began dispersing. The tornado quickly disintegrated and melted back into the clouds from which it came. The spectacular display of nature seemed to utterly evaporate before my eyes. It was one of the most outrageous displays Mother Nature has ever shown me which I was bold enough to watch every second of.Soon thereafter it started to rain like a motherfucker at which point I finally went inside.In the six years since that incredible experience I have heard the tornado sirens go off several times other than the first Monday of the month. Every time was a false alarm but it was also very exciting.Tornado season here on the Great Plains of Turtle Island has been extremely mild in 2018. There have been very, very few tornadoes — so far. I am happy to announce that not once this year have I ever listened to the radio.Copyright by <a href="https://readmedium.com/white-feather-archive-index-c95167f7dbaf">White Feather</a>. All Rights Reserved <a href="https://medium.com/@WhiteFeather9/latest">See My Latest Articles Here</a></article></body>

Staring Into the Eye of a Tornado

And why I almost never listen to the radio

I have never actually experienced a tornado but I have come close. Before I moved here to the Great Plains of Turtle Island I lived high up in the Rocky Mountains where tornados are almost as rare as ocean tsunamis. For 18 years I never gave tornados a second thought. But that changed when I moved to Tornado Country.

But I did have some experience. Hidden deep in the recesses of my noggin’s memory banks there was an experience from a few hundred years ago when I was in college. I attended a university in Lubbock, Freaking, Texas; a cow town located in what is known as Tornado Alley.

My parents refused to put up so much as a dime for my college education — they thought I was too dumb — so I had to pay for it myself. And that is why I never finished and got a degree; because the money ran out. So, anyway, I could not attend college without also having a part-time job.

So I got a part-time job at the Burger King restaurant located directly across the street from the Texas Tech football stadium. It was a very, very busy Burger King — especially after a football game. I learned how to make a Whopper in under 4 seconds and I made enough money to live on and party and drink and chase girls.

One day while I was working on the hamburger assembly line in the late afternoon business suddenly died. The dining room quickly emptied out. My fellow assembly line workers were chattering away, the word tornado in most of their sentences. Most of them quickly went to the stock room in the basement.

Not me. I went out to the dining room to look out the large plate glass windows. If there was going to be a tornado I wanted to see it.

As rain began coming down in sheets it grew very, very dark; so dark that the street lights actually came on. I have to admit that it was rather exciting. It was like electricity was crackling through the air. But there was no tornado — at least not that I could see.

The next morning I learned that a tornado did in fact touch down about 10 blocks away from that fast-food joint. The tornado hit an old abandoned warehouse then immediately went back up into the sky. (The tornado apparently mistook that old abandoned warehouse for a trailer park.)

I had another somewhat close tornado encounter a few years later when I was living near Ft. Worth. I don’t remember much of it, probably because I was too drunk or stoned (or both). All I remember is that a tornado struck nearby but I was unscathed — if not a bit hungover.

Then, for numerous decades I never even came close to a tornado encounter. The closest I came was hearing about tornadoes on the news. Seeing images of the destruction caused, I was merely grateful for no longer living in tornado country.

But then, seven+ years ago I left the paradise of the Rocky Mountains for the Great Plains of Turtle Island. The very first month that I was here I was still staying at my daughter’s house while I looked for a job and housing when suddenly the civil defense sirens went off. My first thought was, Holy shit! Are the Japanese attacking us again? Did the Russians fire nukes in our direction?

My daughter quickly assured me that we were not in any threat of apocalyptic war, that those sirens were the tornado sirens. She ordered me to follow her little family down into the basement. (I’m a good father. When my daughter orders me to do something I do it.)

I quickly learned that those loud, obnoxious sirens go off whenever there is an imminent threat of a tornado. I also soon learned that those incredibly loud sirens go off the first Monday of every month. That is when they test the sirens to make sure they are working properly. Many a time over the last seven years I have been quietly sitting at my desk writing away like a maniac when suddenly the sirens go off. The first thing I do is look out the window to see a beautiful cloudless blue sky. I then realize that it is the first Monday of the month.

But when I look out the window after the tornado sirens go off and I see that it is dark and cloudy and stormy and I realize that it is NOT the first Monday of the month, the first thing I do is turn on the radio. I have a little radio that is set to the local radio station that gives all the latest information about weather and tornadoes.

Many decades ago I used to listen to the radio all the time. I never drove in my car without the radio on. Many of the countless jobs that I’ve had had radios playing all the time. Home alone, I would often turn on the radio to somehow connect with the rest of humanity.

Now, so many decades later, I can’t stand listening to the radio! Sure, occasionally one can hear a song one likes but in the interim one must listen to numerous songs one does not care for, and worse to obnoxious DJs talking incessantly or to stupid, stupid commercials. Who can stand all that disgusting noise? I sure can’t!

I never listen to the radio — well, almost never. I can’t stand radio. I prefer silence or birdsong. I prefer a silent mind, uncluttered with noise. If, on those rare occasions when I listen to music, I’ll pick the music rather than some local yokel DJ. I find that listening to the radio is very distorting to the vibrations I wish to maintain. It’s just a bunch of numbing noise!

But then there was that time six years ago. I had recently discharged myself from the local hospital. I was temporarily living in a government subsidized housing project because of my status as a cancer patient who was scheduled to die within six months. (I eventually had to move out because I refused to die.)

I was sitting at my desk furiously typing away at my laptop one day when suddenly the tornado sirens went off. My first reaction was to look at the calendar. It was most definitely NOT the first Monday of the month. I then saved my work on the laptop then turned on the radio. The weather service was saying that a massive thunderstorm was slowly moving across the town in which I was living; a thunderstorm that was very likely to produce a tornado. We were under a severe tornado alert.

My next reaction was to go outside to check it out. I went out to the parking lot of the complex and took a 360 degree panoramic view of the sky. It was alarming. There were massive very dark clouds moving over me. It was windy and it was sprinkling. I then noticed that a lot of people living in the complex had also come outside to look up into the sky. Is that what people were supposed to do after the tornado sirens went off?

Then I noticed that a lot of people were suddenly pointing up into the sky directly over our heads. And that is when I looked directly upwards and saw something that I had never seen before.

While the storm system was slowly moving from the southwest to the northeast above me, I noticed that directly overhead there was one part of the storm that was moving independently. There was one small patch of the sky that was moving in a circular fashion. Small wispy dark clouds that were somewhat lower than the overhead clouds were moving in a circular motion around a clear, light portion. And the circular motion of these clouds seemed to be descending towards the ground.

One of my first thoughts was, Wow, is this like when you die? You’re suddenly looking into a tunnel with white light at the end of it?

That is what it looked like. The circular motion of the dark clouds swirling around the light, still center were intensifying and it was descending towards the ground.

I suddenly realized that a tornado was forming DIRECTLY OVER MY HEAD!

I looked down and quickly realized that all the people standing on the sidewalks and in the parking lots were now furiously rushing back indoors.

Not me. I stood there utterly transfixed staring, once again, back up into the sky directly over my head. I was watching a tornado being born!

And the tornado was DIRECTLY OVER MY HEAD! And it was moving down directly towards me!

I simply could not move. This was one of the most incredible acts of nature that I had ever witnessed. It was mind-blowing!

The logic and reasoning left-half of my brain was telling me that the storm system was moving over me. While the tornado was forming directly over my head there was a period of time before it hit the ground. By the time that happened the storm system will have moved over me enough that the tornado would not touch ground directly on my noggin but rather some degree of distance in relation to the direction the storm was moving. I figured it would not touch ground until it was perhaps a mile or so further to the northeast. This human logic and reasoning kept me firmly implanted on the parking lot looking skyward.

And then, rather abruptly, the furiously spinning motion in the sky started to slow down. The clouds that had been caught up in the whirlwind began dispersing. The tornado quickly disintegrated and melted back into the clouds from which it came. The spectacular display of nature seemed to utterly evaporate before my eyes. It was one of the most outrageous displays Mother Nature has ever shown me which I was bold enough to watch every second of.

Soon thereafter it started to rain like a motherfucker at which point I finally went inside.

In the six years since that incredible experience I have heard the tornado sirens go off several times other than the first Monday of the month. Every time was a false alarm but it was also very exciting.

Tornado season here on the Great Plains of Turtle Island has been extremely mild in 2018. There have been very, very few tornadoes — so far. I am happy to announce that not once this year have I ever listened to the radio.