Standing Outside the Poetry Door
Committed to learning the language
I stand outside poetry’s door, longing to understand a language so incomprehensible to me. Feelings of doubt speak louder than the words on the page. “Why try?” floats between my ears as I question my reasons for wanting to learn yet setting the feeling aside for comfort.
“I just don’t get it!” The anger at myself yells at me loudly in my thoughts. The negative self-talk tells me I am not good enough to join the poetry circles. I have nothing to contribute due to my lack of understanding. I go back to my comfort zone and ignore the desire to want something different.
Isn’t that how most of us act in the face of change?
A sense of belonging became more substantial than my doubts. I have several writers that I adore. Their words of wisdom and insight align with my own, except for one thing. They also write poetry. My subconscious voice tells me there must be something more to it. As my intuition tells me, if we are like-minded, perhaps it’s time that I learn a bit more and make an informed decision rather than a fear-based one. I asked a few people about learning the language of poetry, but it did not immediately spur me to embrace the art.
People did not understand my question. It did, however, remind me of the years I desired to learn to cook. I know the basics and can follow a recipe. I wanted to learn the joy of cooking — the art of blending ingredients, spices, flavors and feel what good cooks feel. It was not until recent years that joy arrived. It came through loud and clear when I applied mindfulness to my cooking. Being in the present moment rather than cooking just being another thing on my to-do list, the feelings came to me. My senses became engaged.
Recently, in a conversation with my friend and writing mentor, Marcus, I asked, “Give me a challenge. Not just a prompt but a writing challenge. I crave a writing goal and know I work best when challenged by someone I respect.”
His response, “As you say you do not understand the language of poetry, write a story or two a week about how reading someone else’s poetry affected you. There are no right or wrong answers.”
The adventure began with these words. I wrote a few poems of my own. I am reading about poetry and self-teaching myself with articles from poetryfoundation.org and masterclass.com article Poetry 101.
As synchronicity would have it, I found “Phenomenal Woman” by Maya Angelou while surfing the poetry foundation website. A therapist had given me a copy of the poem, decades ago, and said, “This is you.” Of course, true to form, back then, I didn’t believe it. But today, with all my experiences, healing, and growth, I can say, “I get it.”
The first two lines engulf my senses of wonderment of how I and the multitude of women with body image issues perceive themselves. I am a phenomenal woman just because I am me. It is about honoring ourselves without doubts and being confident in who we are.
As I travel in the realm of this new adventure through the door of poetry, I will carry the words of Maya Angelou with me and just be me!