Spring Fever & Me

Summary

A middle-aged woman expresses frustration over being persistently approached by men while grocery shopping, despite being accompanied by her son or husband.

Abstract

The author, a woman over 50, describes her experiences at the grocery store where she is repeatedly approached by men aged 30-70 who make unwanted advances. Despite not looking her best due to stress and the demands of moving her son, she finds herself the target of these men's attention, which occurs when her male companions are momentarily distracted. She emphasizes that she is not interested in these advances and is content with her current relationship. The author also points out the inappropriateness of these men's behavior, suggesting they should improve their hygiene and approach if they wish to meet someone.

Opinions

The author is annoyed and disturbed by the persistent unwanted attention from men in the grocery store.
She feels objectified and disrespected as the men comment on her appearance and make inappropriate suggestions.
The author is confident in her appearance ("Still Hot Over 50") but is clear that she is not seeking any romantic attention.
She is protective of her personal space and finds the men's behavior creepy and invasive, especially when followed out of the store.
The author believes that the men should be more considerate and respectful of others' boundaries and relationships.
She sarcastically suggests that if these men are serious about meeting someone, they should take better care of their appearance and hygiene.
The author is assertive about her lack of interest and warns that she is capable of defending herself if necessary.

No, I Don’t Want Your “Meat”

Me and my son

Dear Men Between 30–70,

Please stop. Seriously, just knock it off.

My son moved this week. I took him to the grocery store twice. And you were there. Same type of guy. You waited until my 6'4" son walked away from me to look at something. Then you sidled up. Bread, milk, meat, didn’t matter what section.

I looked like a bag of shit. I was wearing ugly jogging pants. I hadn’t showered in 2 days because of the stress of my son moving out and other shit going on. I put a grey toque (Canadian for winter hat) on my head despite the “balmy” 10 degrees the Northern Ontario climate gifted us. Oh, and I had a mask on because, yeah, no, 6th wave, 80th wave, whatever, not doing it.

You could literally see my ass and my eyes. That’s all. But you seemed to like them.

I also went to get groceries with my husband twice. We could have gone once, but truth be told, we were so excited about my son moving out, we treated ourselves. And there you were again. Just waiting for the man with me to catch shiny object syndrome and wander away. And he did because he does.

More sidling, more creepy lines.

I was here waiting for you when I was 16. I’m not now.

Don’t ask me how to make a stew with the 40% off stew meat. Don’t ask me if I’ll come over and cook you the marked down chicken. Don’t tell me how you know I probably don’t eat meat because of my figure. I totally eat meat, just not yours.

Don’t follow me out of the store. That’s creepy. Oh, and I can lay you out, just saying. And I have 2 very large men at my disposal should you prove stronger than me.

I know it’s tough for people our age to meet people. I get it. But you saw me walk in with a man. I know you did. I saw you and your beady eyes watching us. I saw you walk over at just the right moment.

I’m not the girl. Correction, I’m not the woman.

I’m just trying to get some food. That’s all I’m shopping for. I was looking for you 35 years ago. I’m over it. You boys had your chance, you lost it. I’m so very good now with the man I have. Sorry ‘bout your luck, but I’m cool. And I just want to be left alone.

I don’t care about your commentary. I’m not interested. But I will say this, if you’re going to the grocery store to find a woman, take a shower, the hat on top of the greasy hair doesn’t work.

Sincerely,

Still Hot Over 50 and So Over It