Split Personality
How to bridge a divided mind
My friend Chuck has two charming granddaughters, Victoria and Samantha, aged nine and eleven. The girls and their parents, Deven and Adriana, live within a half-mile of Chuck.
Given that Chuck’s wife was long dead when he and I met, Chuck’s family bears me no resentment. They have unfailingly welcomed me these past thirteen years of my “Chuckship.” His daughter-in-law, Adriana, treats me as if I were “one of the family.”
And she treats Chuck’s daughter, Sandra, as if Sandra were a child molester.
Sandra’s crime? Being a loving aunt, whose nieces adored her so much they got sullen when the visits ended and acted bratty to their mother.
Adriana’s resentment built up, until, abruptly, she turned against Sandra. At the time, Deven said Adriana was jealous of the girls’ affection for Sandra. He assured his sister it would blow over; it didn’t.
The fallout inspired this piece
Five (?) years on, Adriana continues to shun, not only Sandra, but also, by extension, Sandra’s aunt and cousins — who are, of course, Deven’s aunt and cousins as well.
Over the years, neutral family members have attempted, fruitlessly, to mediate. Sandra has been amenable from the start; Adriana remains resolute.
The upshot: Sucks for Sandra.
And sucks for Chuck. He’s appalled at Adriana’s cruelty toward his daughter; regardless, in order to see his granddaughters, Chuck must compartmentalize his conflicted feelings.
Thus, before each visit, Chuck stuffs his anger in one compartment.
The other overflows with adoration for Samantha and Victoria.
