Spiritual Warfare and the Rise of the Divine Feminine

It is time to awaken the badass warrior goddess within

During one of my ayahuasca journeys on a plant medicine retreat in April 2022, I connected with a higher aspect of myself.

I didn’t see her, but I connected with her consciousness. She had the elevated energy and grace of a goddess, a queen. She had the ferocity of a lioness.

In fact, I could sense her snarling at the invisible, lower vibrational entities that seemed to be all around us in the spacious, echoey high-ceilinged yoga studio at the Mexican retreat facility.

As I connected with her energy, I intuitively sensed her dignified air. I instantly understood that the idea of wanting to be “chosen” by another person was so far beneath her that it was almost too embarrassing to even contemplate.

I understood that she is the divine feminine, and that she chases nothing. She simply is who she is. Those who do not align with her, those who do not see and appreciate her inherent value and worth, are not even worth a second thought.

It was an eye-opening realization that this aspect of me was always around, operating on a higher plane of existence, where the human dramas that have often consumed my mind simply don’t matter.

This elevated energy was so high, that after this experience, my entire body continued to vibrate for almost an entire day after the ceremony had ended.

I started to understand the vastness of my soul. I started to understand that the true essence of my soul was far more than this human body could ever contain. I was starting to truly understand and connect with who I really am. It was illuminating and empowering.

Before I had gone on the retreat, I had had a Zoom interview with the husband-and-wife couple who were hosting it. They told me that they were each other’s twin flames, and that their work of helping people heal through ayahuasca and psilocybin, was their mission.

The man told me, “We’re in a spiritual war.”

He told me that when we answer a divine calling (i.e. committing to a spiritual path in life and seek to uncover and fulfill our purpose), we can expect to be met with resistance by dark forces.

I believed him. But, I of course could not have anticipated the subtle and sneaky ways in which this resistance would emerge in my life.

In retrospect, I see it very clearly.

There were two significant things that happened during and immediately after the retreat.

In hindsight, they were prime examples of spiritual warfare, and they were embarrassingly effective at derailing my progress and (temporarily) steering me off course.

The first thing that happened, was that during the retreat, the night after I connected with my higher self, one of my roommates at the retreat told me she had seen a demon on me.

I initially believed her, but soon realized it had been a projection. Nonetheless, I spent a significant amount of time and energy trying to get to the bottom of what this woman had truly seen, and what would compel her to say such a thing. (I write about this experience in greater detail in another post.)

The experience caused a great deal of doubt, confusion and distress in my mind, and it achieved the objective of disconnecting me with that newly-discovered higher aspect of myself, and diverting my attention into a low vibrational drama involving another person and her demons.

The second thing that happened, was that when I returned from the retreat, the shamanic healer that I was working with at the time started channeling unsolicited messages from my “twin flame,” at a more accelerated rate than ever before. My twin flame was a man from whom I had been separated since 2011, and who had died almost two years earlier, in 2020.

In these sessions, the shaman conveyed these messages in a way that almost implied that my dead twin flame was my new guru. As if a man who had gone to his grave without ever seeing or acknowledging my true worth and value, nor who I was to him, was now a spiritual authority in my life.

This shaman would tell me that my twin flame wanted me to know that the twin flame journey is all about “finding unconditional love within” — in spite of the fact that he, himself, had had the opportunity to enjoy a relationship with another person, while I had spent the years of our separation alone.

She would tell me, “you have to forgive him,” and she was incapable of holding space for the rage and frustration that were ignited within me every time she invoked — without my permission — the spirit of a man who had badly hurt me in this lifetime.

Regardless of how true the messages in these statements were, it wasn’t my dead twin flame’s place to preach to me about unconditional love, and it wasn’t this woman’s place to preach to me about forgiveness.

Something was seriously “off” about the whole situation.

During our healing sessions in those initial weeks after my first ayahuasca retreat, the shaman would frequently channel the uninvited spirit of my twin flame, asking me, “Do you have any questions for your twin?”

She encouraged me to “Connect with his love,” as if I needed love, guidance and spiritual direction from the ghost of an ex-boyfriend who had never expressed his love to me when he was alive and embodied here on Earth.

All of this was sickening, confusing and distressing. Eventually, though, I figured out what was really happening.

It took me months to figure out that this was all a ploy.

All of this focus on my “twin flame” was yet another tactic being used to distract and disempower me. It was psychological warfare. It was a spiritual attack.

I eventually discovered that there were in fact demons in my energy field, and that they were inviting in people like these two women — the lady from the retreat, and my shaman — to (unconsciously) toy with me and steer me off my path.

It was all part of an attempt to pull me out of my connection and relationship with my higher self, and into the low-consciousness, human dramas that keep us ensnared in webs of doubt, confusion, victimhood, and a need to receive guidance, validation, love and reassurance from an external source.

It was a sneaky, underhanded, diabolical way of keeping me stuck in an endless loop of separation consciousness while outwardly preaching to me about unity consciousness and the “unconditional love” lessons of the twin flame journey.

My grief was being continuously provoked, while I was simultaneously being shamed out of fully processing my grief because I wasn’t “allowed” to fully express my difficult feelings since they didn’t come from “love and light.”

It was a false light deception designed to keep me in perpetual pain.

By the end of 2022, by a divine intervention, I received the sense to remove this shaman from my life, and once I did, I unraveled a whole new layer in the onion of my healing and growth.

I started to remember, again, what the path of the divine feminine is truly all about. I started to process my twin flame journey through new eyes, recalling various ways that the universe has beckoned me onto the path of the divine feminine over the years.

The universe had been speaking to me via signs and synchronicities all along, and it also used my fondness for stories — especially historical fiction — to remind me of the true nature of my spirit.

I recalled the fictitious characters who had sparked an inner knowing and remembrance within — Claire Randall in Outlander, Arya and Sansa Stark in Game of Thrones, Lagertha in Vikings. The spirits of these women resonated deeply with me, and it occurred to me that these women were anything but meek. They were strong, they were bold, they were fearless. They were badasses. And although some of them had experienced great love in their lives, not one of these women lived her life at the mercy of any man or woman’s approval.

These women embodied the essence of a warrior queen, and remind us of the simple fact that a queen deserves a king. When there is, for one reason or another, no king, the queen stands tall on her own. She does not lower herself to become a beggar for love and acceptance.

It is in the sacred time of solitude that she fully steps into her power and has the space to truly explore and become who she really is. It is in this space that she becomes the trailblazer, the leader, the inspiration to others, that she was always meant to be.

Whether the love she deserves is currently present or absent in her life, it doesn’t change the truth of what she deserves. It doesn’t change her knowing of what she deserves. It doesn’t lower the standard of what she will accept.

She does not contract her energy or become a smaller version of herself because of people who wish to humble her, steal her power or dethrone her. She does not dim her light to make others comfortable. She does not accept a lesser love simply because that is all that is available.

She is extremely discerning about who she trusts, and she does not accept “guidance” or “advice” from duplicitous people who are secretly trying to undermine her.

As I write this in late December of 2023, it has become clear to me that we are in a time of reckoning. Our collective shadow, which has resisted — for millennia — true, embodied, feminine power, is in our faces right now.

Take a close look at what you may be observing in your personal reality, on social media, and in the entertainment industry right now.

Do you perceive stories that empower women and encourage feminine power? Are you seeing the shadow aspects and distortion wrapped around some of these stories? Do you see the subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways in which feminine power is being undermined in these stories?

Do you see the subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways in which the twin flame narrative is being twisted and perverted in a way that is confusing and disempowering, especially for the divine feminine?

Understand that all of this is by design.

Recall that the twin flame journey is, first and foremost, an awakening to the truth of what this world really is. It is a forceful way of cutting through and seeing past the thick illusions of this world.

We are at a pivotal point of divine feminine awakening right now. The time to claim your power is now.

You can be a “twin flame” without becoming a victim to the narrative or to any of the people involved in that narrative.

To be a twin flame is to be a lightworker. To be a lightworker is to be a target of spiritual warfare. The darkness will use your twin flame story — and any other attachments you may have — in an effort to keep you feeling weak, wounded and disempowered.

And the darkness would spend this effort on you for one reason and one reason only: because it knows your power, and it fears your power. The only way it can stop you from doing what you came here to do, is by convincing you to give that power away. The only way it can control you, is by using deception, lies and manipulation to coax you into becoming the author of your own self-destruction.

If they succeed, they can distract you and keep you chasing your tail for an entire lifetime, so that you end up having to come back and do it all over again. But ultimately, all they do is cause delays. In the end, one way or another, you will be victorious.

The other day, this YouTube video by Metatron Is Speaking popped up on my feed. It included a channelled message from Norse Goddess Freyja, and I wondered why it was coming up now. I felt compelled to watch it, and the message soon became clear.

According to the video, Freyja is a goddess of war, and she had an important message about divine feminine power.

I realized that her energy and essence was reaching me through that video. I later started recalling my post about Lagertha, the badass warrior Norse queen, and then out of nowhere I found myself wanting to listen to female viking warrior chants.

Where was all of this viking energy coming from?

Then I realized, it was an activation. It was a “call to arms.”

It was similar to how the essence of the Hindu goddess Kali had called out to me back in August 2023 when I was preparing my talk about the Sacred Journey of the Divine Feminine.

It was a reminder that the goddesses are with us when we do this work, and that they have clear intentions and energies that they want to send to us — energies which may surprise us.

The messages and energy we receive from them may not be at all what we expected. We may, for example, expect a goddess to impart messages of feminine softness.

But what we receive instead may, in fact, be a refreshing surprise.

Both Kali and Freyja are fierce badass goddesses who appear in times of war and turmoil. They arise when great injustice had been done and our anger must be felt, our power must be reclaimed, and balance must be restored.

The message of both of these goddesses was clear to me: your anger is valid. Your rage is sacred and justified, and it is your fuel in such a time as this. Do not let anybody shame you out of honouring your true feelings. Do not let anybody bamboozle you into thinking your difficult, challenging, messy feelings are unacceptable.

Great injustices have indeed been perpetrated against the feminine energy of this Earth, and we do not ignore or brush this fact aside. In fact, we must not.

This is not a time to be soft and meek. This is a time to be strong and to fight. This is a time to claim and step into your power without reservation.

This does not mean to “fight” in a conventional sense of the word. As you may know by now, “what you resist persists.”

You fight with your love. You fight with your energy. You fight with your attention and conscious awareness of everything that is happening around you in this now moment. You fight by facing and honouring what is, even when it seems ugly, uncomfortable and unsettling.

You fight by speaking your truth, sharing your voice, standing tall, and taking up space in this world. You fight by shining your light and refusing to dim it for anyone.

Rise up and see who you truly are.

If you need inspiration, do what I did and listen to some badass female viking warrior chants (or any other chanting or music that awakens and inspires your inner goddess!)

If you are not sure why the spirit of a goddess from a culture you are not familiar with is calling to you, then remember that your soul is much greater than your human self can imagine. This could be activating past life memories, empowering energies that your soul remembers, and with which it longs to reconnect.

Remember, as well, to always be respectful of cultures with which you are not familiar, be open and willing to learn more, and (something I learned from Rebecca Campbell) show your appreciation without appropriating cultures that you do not identify with in this human incarnation.

If you share my taste in historical (and/or fantasy-based) fiction and are looking for some good shows to watch that will activate the inner divine feminine, lightworker and warrior within, here are some of my favourites:

• Outlander (explores concepts of non-linear time, time travel, past life karma, a twin flame love story with a powerful divine feminine and divine masculine who share a life mission of trying to “change the future”)
• Vikings (features Lagertha, a powerful warrior queen, and features the viking belief system in Norse gods and goddesses)
• Vikings: Valhalla (features Freydis, a woman who embodies both a fierce warrior and high priestess energy, deeply devoted to fulfilling her life’s mission and purpose as a spiritual leader)
• The Wheel of Time (a fantasy-based story about powerful lightworkers, feminine and masculine power, the battle between light and dark, and the wheel of karma)

Be discerning and aware of what is seeking your attention and energy in the world right now.

Decide which reality you wish to be the conscious creator of.

Your currency in this life is your energy and attention. It is so valuable and precious that dark entities wish to feed on it, and they’ll do just about anything to trick you into feeding it to them.

Take your power back from them.

Give your energy and attention to stories and activities that activate and uplift your soul, that make you feel powerful, creative and inspired.

Express your gratitude and appreciation for the beauty and natural wonders that exist on this planet. Enjoy the simple pleasures of life. Live in the present moment.

Don’t repress or deny your shadows, your anger or your sacred rage when they come up to meet you.

When you become a safe place for your own heart, that is when your shadow self will feel safe to reveal itself to you; that is when it will again come to you and ask for you to love it, too.

Extend and express that love to every part of you. Hold it in gentle, non-judging awareness. Allow it to be exactly as it is. And let it be known that this, too, is acceptable. Every part of you is acceptable. Every part of you is worthy of love.

That is how you fight. That is how you win. That is how you embody the badass, warrior goddess that you came here to be.

Thank you for reading!

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