Summary

The author describes a personal journey from suffering years of anxiety and panic attacks to achieving a transformative spiritual awakening through the guidance of a Western master.

Abstract

The author, at 16, faced an existential crisis that led to years of anxiety and panic attacks, initially managed with medication. Seeking deeper solutions, the author explored various metaphysical and spiritual practices from both Western and Eastern philosophies, yet found them unsatisfactory. The turning point came with the mentorship of a Western master, who, in a few sessions, guided the author to an inward exploration that alleviated the anxiety and panic. This profound transformation involved confronting physical sensations and dismantling mental constructs, leading to a realization of the mind's role in creating and perpetuating illusions. The author now practices embracing the unknown, using the breath as a tool for presence, and encourages others to observe their own experiences and seek inspiration over doctrine.

Opinions

The author initially found little relief from anxiety and panic attacks through conventional medication, which they felt dulled their experiences.
The new-age and spiritual practices explored by the author were deemed confusing and often shallow, lacking the depth and clarity needed for genuine transformation.
The author's encounter with a Western master was pivotal, providing a direct and effective approach to inner exploration and healing.
The spiritual journey is portrayed as a personal odyssey that requires discernment and a willingness to confront uncomfortable truths about oneself.
The author emphasizes the importance of personal experience and inspiration over adherence to established ideas and doctrines.
The author advocates for a daily practice of mindfulness and breath observation as a means to stay present and connected to one's inner truth.

Soul Unveiled: My Story! (My transformation from panic to an awakening within).

The impact of mental illusions depends entirely upon one’s belief in their reality.

Crisis

At the age of 16, I underwent an existential crisis that triggered years of anxiety and panic attacks. Over five excruciating years, I relied on medications to alleviate my suffering. While these medications did bring relief by calming my nerves, they also had the side effect of detaching me from my body and reducing emotions and reactions, rendering my experience dull.

Hope

Amidst this period, my hopes for better treatment gravitated toward metaphysics and the ideas emerging from both Western and Eastern new-age philosophies. I entertained the hope that within these traditions, something might be capable of alleviating my condition.

Confusion

I experimented with various practical approaches, from rituals and meditation to ceremonies and Zen meditation retreats. Likewise, I delved into extensive readings on self-transformation and mysticism. Unfortunately, none of these endeavors provided the relief I sought. I grew increasingly frustrated with what appeared to be shallow, often conflicting teachings and ideas. These pursuits were veiled in an enigma, wrapped in secrecy and mystery.

I had no ‘master key’ to unlock or unravel layers upon layers, years upon years of concepts, ideas, myths, words, and more words!

Being in the tumultuous vigor of youth, consistently on the edge, I lacked the patience and financial means to commit to any specific group or organization. Devoting the necessary time to penetrate the inner circles of these timeless institutions, where foundational teachings may have been revealed, remained an unattainable option.

I found myself questioning: were the elements of the spiritual path — such as the true self, the god self, liberation, and enlightenment — genuine, or were they akin to marketing promises crafted to sell books?

Revelation/ damnation

Fortuitously, or perhaps by fate’s design, I encountered a Western master of profound wisdom. In just a handful of visits, this mentor skillfully guided the trajectory of my spiritual journey for decades, initiating a profound inward exploration that culminated in the cessation of my anxiety and panic, fundamentally transforming my entire experience.

Oh, it was not easy…

With a single glance, this master unfurled the depths of my soul, sparking a profound awakening of my inner awareness.

My life turned backward, upside down upon itself, and into myself simultaneously.

I realized my fears and panic had everything to do with the physical sensations of my body, magnified by my out-of-control mind that raced to deathly conclusions of disease with any new sensation I encountered.

So, this teacher had placed me smack in the center of my body, of sensation and biological processes; oh, this was not what the doctor ordered! Then, once a bit of the mask of illusion was rendered away, other dimensions of the inner realms were glanced at; these wore a cloak of emptiness, death, and dissolution; no sir, this was not what I wanted!

It was what I needed.

Illumination!

And what did this teacher propose? The great discourse was that every idea, concept, and conclusion is from and about mankind, yes, even the gods; thus, all myths are true but possibly utterly useless. Ideas from an infinite sea of ideas, anything you can imagine is real or not. It’s your CHOICE.

Yes, this was my initiation: I understood that my mind was the genesis, viewer, experiencer, and, as a result, actor and victim of what it had created! It’s an insane-closed circuit. The realization was both liberating and terrifying.

The profound paradox of what is and what is not.

So, what is the goal of a spiritual practice? Experience the NoThing. ‘What is not’, simply because ‘what is’, is gathered or imagined, all from our memories, individually or culturally accumulated. Beyond this, what is unknown, unexpected, and unconceived is inspiration, clarity and reality.

What once seemed so real, so paralyzing, now I know was just an illusion from my mind and of choosing to continue it.

Practice imperfection

So, what do I practice today? I seek the unknown. I don’t accept any idea or doctrine as truth or let it carry me away. Furthermore, I don’t act on anyone’s ideas — not even my own! Thoughts are just passing ideas; my mind has an infinite supply. I act only from inspiration or necessity and put my heart and soul into it. Why not?

Approach

Based on my experience as a seeker, I recommend incorporating a daily observation practice: Staying centered and conscious in the present moment, not dwelling on memories or projecting into the future; let your breath be your guiding force. Experiment with various breath patterns — deeper, shallower, faster, slower — and keenly observe the impact on your body.

Recognize that your body is a remarkable gift, a truth-teller that doesn’t deceive.

When your mind finishes the work at hand, always bring it back to the breath, and let inspiration make the next move.

Forward

I sincerely hope sharing my journey and insights can aid you on your path; in the comments, feel free to ask anything!