Soul Transforming Forgiveness

B.U.Hub Publication Contest, Universe-Love-Soul

I forgave them and my soul was empowered by love.

Have you ever had people break you down so much that you begin to ultimately believe that you are no longer worthy of love? There are those out there who would make it their life’s mission to tear you down and peel you apart, piece by piece. Slanderers, gossipers, haters, and abusers, right?

Honestly? I think we have all been there a one point in time. Me? I’m pretty sure I’ve had more things done to me than I would ever have expected to happen in my life. People close to me in whom I loved and cherished that took advantage of that and used it against me only to get what benefits them. I’ve experienced every form of abuse only to bring myself humiliation.

Around five years ago, things started to change for me. Before that, I had been absolutely miserable dealing with reasons on why people had done the things they had done to me. I felt a loss of understanding that all the love I had shown these people had only been used against me. I couldn’t understand why love was not reciprocated by everyone. I married into a family that tried to tear every piece of my soul apart. I felt they took my innocence and threw it in the trash only to be set on fire. It was the most trying times of my life, and I just wanted the feelings that I had for them to stop.

I’m a very loving person. I want everyone around me to be happy. I want to be able to shine in a room full of people that are crying only to lift their spirits up. These people? They crushed that part of me. Left me with nothing but a shell to look after. I was in pieces that I never thought would be put back together. Hollow and unforgiving.

These people claimed to be Christians and yet so was I and I would never do the things they had done to me. In return, all I felt after the years of torment and abuse was anger and bitterness replaying every scene over and over in my mind, heart, and soul.

I would wake up to hating myself. Until I felt God’s spirit speak to me. It led me to finally open my Bible and start reading again and led me straight to this verse. The feeling of His spirit led me to place this verse on my mirror by my bedside and read it to myself every day for 30 days.

It said this in Ephesians 4:31–32:

“Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”

I did this. Slowly, as the days passed, I began to feel this overwhelming feeling of lightness. I felt like ten pounds was being lifted off of me each and every day. Eventually, after the 30 days was up, I felt my soul being completely renewed. I had let go of all the wrong they had done to me. I began to pray every night telling God I forgave each and every one who wronged me. I individually prayed love over them. I prayed for their well-being. Even the worst of the worst, I prayed for them to gain wisdom in life and for their eyes to be opened.

They were toxic people. I released myself of them and my family separated from theirs. Our life began to flourish. Our peace and wellbeing began to grow. Our happiness ran in a completely positive direction. After the forgiveness and separation, my soul began to love again. It began to have love for even those who were spiteful. I love from a distance. I love with God’s love.

By releasing them of my anger and bitterness, my soul has become empowered by a beautiful positive love in which I no longer feel negativity. I’m thankful that I’ve been transformed into the positive soul that I am now. I’ve come a long way.

Remember that if you ever feel like you're being weighed down by the sins of other people who have hurt you, regardless of their religion, just release it. Let your soul air out. Embrace the positivity and release all the negativity. I’m thankful for God’s love and the wisdom he teaches me every day. The universe is full of His surprises and if you look really hard then you just might find the most beautiful, amazing things in life.

And as for you guys? I pray that every single one of you has a positively blessed and fulfilling life with many adventures, treasures, and wonderful, amazing experiences. The universe is full of surprises and believe it or not, so are you. I love you, my peeps!

-L.A. Walker