Sorry But Die Hard is NOT a Christmas Movie
I love the film but am over this tired argument

Out of curiosity and in preparation for this piece, I did some research to see who was the first person to claim Die Hard was actually a Christmas movie, and not just a banging action flick. My Google-fu was inadequate to the task. Nonetheless, I can say with absolute certainty that the first person to make this distinction was a dude because I have been he in other regards.
Her: Christmas is only two weeks away. Let’s watch a Christmas movie.
He: Solid agree.
Her: How about Santa Clause? Scrooged? Home Alone?
He: Nah babe. Let’s watch Die Hard.
Her <laughing>: Wait, you’re serious?
He: Abso-fruitly! It’s set at Christmas. There’s a couple of Christmas songs. ‘Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho.’ Classic Christmas stuff.
Her: Have you always been this stupid or am I just now seeing you in a fresh light?
I don’t think there’s any denying that the genius behind Die Hard = Christmas movie was a dude. The idea has dude written all over it! Clumsily ill-conceived but also sort of hilarious is the Dude Manifesto. How many dudes over the years have used this paper-thin argument to convince loved ones to watch a bunch of other dudes shoot each other in celebration of this most wonderful time of the year? Beyond count, certainly. Probably a bunch of dudettes, too; true dudeism knows no gender.
But there is a distinction at the heart of the argument that disproves the notion: setting does not equal story. It is a canvas upon which the story is painted. It shouldn’t be a hard concept, yet here we are.
Die Hard is an action movie that occurs at Christmas. Nothing would change if the movie was instead set during Thanksgiving or Halloween or any other holiday. Some of the trappings would be different, sure — music and costumes and whatnot — but the story itself would be identical: John McClane cracking jokes and busting heads and helping Hans Gruber onto the express elevator, going down to the ground floor if you please.
Iron Man 3 is set during Christmas but you don’t see people lining up to watch it before Santa comes skidding down the chimney. The difference: Die Hard is an amazing movie people look for excuses to watch, and Iron Man 3 is something you tolerate on your way to Captain America: Winter Soldier.
Which sort of begs the question: what is a Christmas movie, then? If being set during Christmas isn’t a sufficient qualifier, what is? After all, any metric I think to offer — family, reconciliation, character growth — could be said to occur in Die Hard, or any of a million other movies that have nothing to do with Christmas at all.
So I’ve settled on that old tenet regarding pornography: I know it when I see it. Die Hard is not a Christmas movie. Home Alone — which could be said to be a kid’s version of Die Hard — is a Christmas movie, and not just because it occurs at Christmas. Ultimately, Home Alone is about something more. It makes me feel: nostalgia, regret, longing. Die Hard just doesn’t. Yeah, John patches things up with Holly, but it doesn’t hit quite the same.
You can, and probably do, see it differently than me. Maybe you see Die Hard the same way I see Home Alone. Mazel tov, you have an opinion, and it’s no less valid. Enjoy your traditions and I shall have mine.
What I’m tired of — indeed, what spawned this very article — is all the freaking articles about why Die Hard is a Christmas movie. The idea was maybe cute 20 years ago. Now it feels like your old man throwing on some fresh kicks and trying to shred. Do we need to have this conversation every year? Can we just agree to disagree, and never talk about this again?

One final note: since the dawn of man, Christmas movies have always released in November and December, when people are looking for that little extra dose of holiday cheer. Die Hard was released in July, aka the middle of the summer. As far from Christmas as you can possibly get.
Seems accurate.
Eric writes about pop culture at Medium. More about him here.
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