Sorry, Bro Life Coaches, But I Do Have To Work Harder For The Same Results.

I’ve accepted it, which is a threat to their income.

I used to believe the same crap that’s toted across the positivity internet — I just gotta work hard and believe.

But after being in the workforce for a few years, I realized something: I had to work harder than white dudes to be treated with any respect.

Because people are constantly wondering if the minorities in corporate spaces “deserve to be there.” Are we “pulling our weight?” Are we “grateful for the opportunity?”

So we are watched, and if we do something they approve of, they clap, and if we dare to have differing opinions, they frown…but I’m never “an equal.” It’s more of a matter of: Can I be taught to “be good”?

There’s a thing well-intentioned white dudes do…it’s sort of My Fair Lady-ing us. Sometimes I feel like these corporate bros are waiting to see if I can eat with a fork and knife. Then they’ll all clap or something. It’s dehumanizing and infantalizing.

So I have to work harder to receive any respect, and I have to blow people out of the water to be treated as an equal. I, a Latina woman, have to be smarter than my bosses for them to treat me like an equal. I have to be exceptional to be treated as average.

If a white bro coworker is making mistakes because he’s bored, he’s promoted because of potential, but if I do it, then I’m dinged. He’s brilliant; I’m just lazy.

This plays out over and over again. And super positive life coachy bros hate when you point it out…and hate when you won’t let yourself get gaslit.

Because they make money keeping the status quo alive. That’s what I’ve noticed about life coach-y bros: They’re being paid to tell privileged people what they want to hear. The universe is conspiring to make YOU succeed…people who don’t succeed don’t have the right thoughts.

But when you say: No, I recognize that I have to work harder for the same results. I recognize that prejudice means what is easy for you won’t be as easy for me. That threatens their whole system.

I’ve accepted that…positivity bros haven’t. That’s the funny thing, too…that I have learned and accepted something that someone who doesn’t experience it is trying so hard to deny.

Yeah, man. Sorry…things are harder for people facing discrimination. You walk into a room and people question if you should be there. Or they ask you for a coffee, hand you a dirty towel and say “thanks!”

Even when I’m a guest at hotels around the world, white people hand me their used plates and act shocked when they hear my English.

Pay a coachy bro thousands to tell me the lie he tells himself to make himself feel like he’s earned that money? Nah, lol.

But to really blow up their spot: Most of the white life coach bro stuff is just prosperity gospel. Go to a megachurch and get the same basic useless, delusional philosophy for free. You’re welcome.