Sometimes what people want from a rant is validation, not solutions. I think there’s value in reflecting on what your role is when a friend comes to you with a story or a rant.

Questions to ask:

• What are my usual reactions to such rants? (Is it to fix the other person’s problems? Is it to listen and ask further questions? How much of this is influenced by what I usually need, or what I think they need?)
• How does this person want to be supported? (How do I know? Am I making assumptions or is this something I can bring out in the open and ask about?)

Tee, Conscious Creative distills this into a succinct question:

Do you want me to just listen or give advice?

With these questions, we can be conscious about our position in supporting a friend, and make sure we’re not overshadowing their needs.