Sometimes I F*cking Hate Being a Parent!

By Ryan J

The shouting and screaming. The whinging and whining. The cheekiness, defiance, ignorance, and demands.

They’re ungrateful, unreasonable, selfish, and self-centered. Unhinged. Fucking crazy. Off the hook. Gone insane.

And these are just some of the traits omitted from the parenting handbook. Who wrote this damn thing? Why’d they not tell us? I want answers. Who’s to blame?

They show you how to bond with your child. Make them laugh. Make them smile.

Yet failed to mention the demon within, that shows its face every once in a while.

They turn into monsters with skills to make you lose your mind. They push your buttons like no other, laugh in your face while you cry.

They’re the love of your life and yes, you’d do anything for them. But at times you just want to run away screaming, say fuck you and fuck this. Sayonara. See you later.

Life used to be so peaceful. Quiet and go to plan. Now, these little whirlwinds of chaos cause a ruckus when they can.

It’s like they get off on the madness. Revel in disarray. As if normal life just ain’t fun enough unless there’s madness throughout the day.

Some days are worse than others however the good times outweigh the bad.

But when they decide to flip that switch, become an evil dictator tyrant. That’s when I grind my teeth, pull my hair, and bellow out; “Sometimes I fucking hate being a parent!”