Sometimes

A brief note from a marriage

Sometimes… I think that you and I Are two chips from the same block of ice

You once told me I had the greatest capacity for love You had ever encountered

I once told you that despite your somewhat crusty exterior I alone saw the softness at your central core

Do the initial perceptions that unite One day become the realities That just might snap us in two As one might break a baguette Quickly with the snap of two wrists Moving in determined unison

Did you mistake my need for love As a capacity for it Did I not see that you bruised quickly And easily upon the surface To withdraw into a cold place Where I was not invited

Each time you pulled away Did I perhaps need you ever more Trying to hold you by loving deeper Whispering of your virtues That were perhaps more of my mind than within your character

As I faltered at each of your retreats Did my desire to be loved Become smothering for you Changing the delusions of infatuation To the practicalities of Our true natures in the present

How long did we remain suspended Within our partnered cryogenic stasis

In winters long ago, before refrigerators Men went out upon the freshwater lakes To cut blocks of ice to be stored In man made chambers below ground Called ice houses The ice was insulated in sawdust or straw To remain frozen for months

How long did we labour upon Our ice house How long did the sawdust and straw Keep us frozen But never protect us from cracking When a blow was struck

I can no longer recall exactly what First engendered change What phenomena occurred That drew us out of the ice house Maybe it was little more than staring into the chasm at the edge of failure Maybe it was truth finally spoken

One day both of us made a choice Not at the same time That would have been too contrived But we each made the choice To remain … to believe once again What love first thought we saw In each other …

We chose To thaw