Dear Writer
Some Moments Force You To Reflect On Your Life
Letter to my future self to never forget the lessons learnt thanks to cancer treatment.
Some moments force you to reflect on your life.
This is a great opportunity to learn and grow. Sometimes when the danger passes, and the situation normalizes, we tend to go back to business as usual. We forget about those great lessons.
For me, this danger is cancer and the fear that it might be back. I want to write a letter to my future self to help me never forget those lessons, and allow me to live my life and remember what is important. I want to share this letter with all of you if you want to join me in this journey and learn from everything that lives gives us, even if the lessons might be tough.
My dearest Aga,
I would like to talk to you about life, this beautiful thing which sometimes brings us joy, sometimes it can be difficult, sometimes it tests us and our limits, sometimes everything depends on us, but sometimes not, and the only thing we can do is to accept.
I would like you to read this letter whenever you feel that something goes wrong, that you don´t live your life as you would like to, and remember the lessons you got from your cancer journey.
1. Know yourself and believe in yourself
Even though this has recently happened, please don’t ever allow anybody to steal your self-esteem. In the end, you are the person who knows yourself best, and if you feel like it is not true, take time to get to know yourself. If you feel lost ask yourself a question about what is important for you.
What are the things and values you don’t want to compromise?
In the end, there is only one person who will be with you all the time, in the good times and the bad. Day and night. 365 days a year. And this person is you. Thus, it is so important to have a good relationship with yourself, your mind, your heart and your body.
And I know that you used to enjoy your company and trust yourself. You used to take everything with a smile on your face. You used to be the most persistent person I know, and if you wanted something, you used to be able to get it. You used to be fearless, or even better said, you used to be able to get up when life challenged you. You used to react to any situation, and always find a good solution. You used to take care of your friends and close ones, and create a strong bond with people.
And you are questioning your whole identity right now. But remember that it has happened, and it can happen again.
2. Remember what are the things that bring you peace or triggers joy
Because you know yourself, you need to know that there are plenty of tools that help you get out of challenging situations. Write them down. Hang them in the visible place, and use them. It helped you so many times, it can help you once again. And if one does not work in this precise moment, try the next one. We are humans and we need different things at different times.
Here is your list:
- Go for a walk or to the gym, this will help you rest.
- Write, it helps you always to organize your thoughts, and you need them organized :)
- Do something that makes you look good — superficial, but the small things like painting your nails or putting on clothes, make you feel good and can buzz your self-esteem.
- Do something creative, like cooking or editing videos. This brings you joy and takes your mind off problems.
- Spend time with your friends. Always work! Always! And if those friends have kids or dogs even better:)
- Sometimes you need to allow yourself to be alone and to do nothing for one day or two, but no longer!
- Clean your flat. You have learnt that cleaning is somehow the metaphor for the new beginning. And the fact that you did something needed makes you feel good.
3. Best decisions don´t exist
There is one very important thing that your psychologist once told you. That there is nothing like the best decision. The only thing you can do is to make the decision at a specific moment. With the information you have. That is best for you. And remember that the decision can be changed if the situation changes. If new information, comes, or because your heart tells you that.
And never look back at the decision taken and blame yourself. You know how you are, and you know that you always study things. You always try to decide in an informed way. Trust yourself, that what you decide is what you need in this specific moment, and is what you believe is best for you.
4. Allow yourself to live your emotions
Again, one of the good pieces of advice from your psychologist. Even if the situation is difficult, you need to allow yourself to feel your emotions, to express them and accept them. This is the only way to heal. And if you realize that you are avoiding or suppressing your emotions, being in the headspace to live them, do it. And ask for help.
And, when you are fine. Keep learning how to recognize and accept your emotions. You still have a lot to improve :)
5. Always have in mind things that you can do, instead of things you cannot have.
Let’s be honest. Not everything in life is possible. Sometimes things depend on us, sometimes on some other person, sometimes on luck. And sometimes we will never know what. If you face an external challenge, it’s there. What you can do is to decide on how you want to react to it and deal with it. Do you want to worry about the things that happen, or take in your hand things that are still in your power?
I will not tell you ¨this is easy¨. Not at all, but often this is the only way to keep going. And especially if your cancer will be back, please remember about it. First, let yourself live your emotions, get mad, get angry, get drunk if you prefer. Grief. And then ask yourself: What are the things that depend on you? What can you do? And do it.
6. Take care of your health
Your health sucks, but there are still few things you can try to keep doing to make yourself feel better. As your oncologist says — sport, sport and once more sport. Don’t push yourself too much though. You know how it can end up. Then take your supplements. And most importantly, trust your gut. You already know your body, and you know that now every doctor is looking at you as a whole. So don’t be afraid to try, and test. And change doctors until you will feel good.
