Some Effective Ways to Show Love
And not just the romantic kind
It’s not easy to show love. In fact, it’s one of the hardest feelings for even the most open and emotionally secure of people to express. Communicating a deeply-held personal truth of any kind requires not only ample self-confidence and vulnerability, but a trust in the one you’re conveying that truth to.
Although it can be difficult to show love so readily, there are a few surefire ways, easier than others, to demonstrate that you care. Ways that, in practice, can help you create and maintain strong relationships built on mutual adoration— and not only the romantic kind.
1. Expressive, Open Language
For most of us, it might feel unnatural to come right out and say that we adore a person, or even that we enjoy his or her company. But why wouldn’t we? Affirming, out loud, that we value the time we spend with someone not only explicitly shows the person that we cherish their presence and energy, but also encourages them to reciprocate, showing their own feelings without shame or embarrassment. And because love is often not so much a subtle twinge as an intense burst of feeling, shouldn’t the way we communicate with our partners, friends, and family reflect the extent of our gratitude for them? I can’t count the number of times I’ve told people in my life that I wouldn’t know what I’d do without them, that every moment I spend with them makes me feel truly alive, and I’m sure they can’t enumerate how often my saying these things has made them feel welcome, accepted, and most importantly of all, needed.
So say something genuine, and don’t be afraid to do it!
2. Welcome Physical Touch
I’m not just talking about kissing. Hugs, hand-holding, high-fives, and even fist bumps show that you trust the recipient of your affection enough to let them into your very personal, individual space. There’s a reason we don’t let strangers do the same!
Of course, more overtly romantic touch is only acceptable with a partner, but close friends are just as worthy of affectionate contact. For example, my friends and I regularly form “cuddle puddles” — totally platonic, five-plus person cuddling sessions that often evolve into sweet, gentle conversations about life, love, and relationships in general. Some of my fondest memories with friends have happened during a cuddle puddle, or when a close confidant and I shared a long, warm, welcome hug or pat on the back that helped to eliminate any stress or undue anxiety I felt.
3. Honesty
Nobody likes a liar, and being truthful is one of the most effective ways to broadcast not only your thoughts, but your deeper feelings. If you feel joyous, tell your loved one; if you feel sad, let them know; and if you feel angry, let loose! A good friend or partner is there to soak up your honesty in exchange for mutual, unconditional care. After all, if you can’t be honest with a person you welcomed into your life despite their very real flaws, then what’s the purpose of the relationship?
Of course, it’s sometimes embarrassing to be honest. Nobody wants to tell another person about something humiliating, disagreeable, or strange they might have done. But the person you love should be there to listen, accept, and comfort you in spite of what you fear.
4. Humor
How many times have you felt terrible, only to be uplifted by a joke that made you laugh until your stomach ached? Humor is one of the finest tools of interpersonal communication, and a wonderful way to demonstrate that you care. For however long you’ve known your loved one, you’ve surely come to know their unique (and sometimes wacky) sense of humor, which is an integral part of anybody’s personality. Making them laugh proves that you understand them, that you accept them, and that you hold them dear enough to want to make them feel good. Play into their love of laughter by spitting out an elaborate joke or a witty one-liner, and revel together with some choppy guffaws, shy giggles, and flagrant chortles.
5. Accept That You May Get Hurt
As with any other emotion, love is full of risks. Heartbreak, friendship splits, and familial estrangement are unfortunate but inevitable products of putting yourself in the beautiful position of caring and being cared for. But getting hurt isn’t something to be afraid of so much as be embraced.
I know what you’re probably thinking: that’s crazy talk. But think about it: if love wounds you, then it must have been profound enough to mean something. Can we not agree, then, that even if love carries the risk of harm, you will be better off for having experienced it, for having formed unforgettable memories that made life worth the struggle and sacrifice? The fear of getting stung is a natural, understandable one, but maybe the risk of it is what makes love so enticing — high risk, high reward, but infinite potential to experience one of the most beautiful and sought-after emotions of the human experience.
So love well and proudly, because it’s the only thing keeping us all together.
Andrew is a musician, mountaineer, and writer. If you’d like to learn more about him, you can visit his website, or check out these recent Medium stories:
