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Abstract

to rise. How am I ever going to catch up with everything?</p><p id="27a1">A few times, I have just selected all and marked them as read /archived. It was too overwhelming.</p><p id="7eaf">Now, I have decided on a new course of action: I will read the articles whose titles grab my attention most, and at least clap and highlight them, even if I don't have the energy to comment.</p><p id="be01">As you know, <a href="https://readmedium.com/my-writing-reading-and-commenting-policy-on-me-798ac76cd6d">I strive to leave meaningful comments</a>, and when I am that tired they all sound stupid and meaningless. That’s probably the fatigue talking, but it feels like that nonetheless.</p><p id="bd9b">It is such a hardship to feel as I feel as a chronically ill person. Chronic pain and chronic fatigue take over my life with no warning, leaving me stranded for days and sometimes even weeks.</p><p id="7217">So, I am redefining what my “best” is on those days. I am redefining my standards. I will do what I can, which is going to be better than nothing. And I will make my peace with it—or at least I will try! I know in my heart that being chronically ill is nothing to be ashamed of, but it’s still a weird sort of grief I have to go through in my own way.</p><h1 id="b7b0">Being a spoonie is hard</h1><figure id="570f"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*QZNnHbs_CgfGEdHlEnkTNA.png"><figcaption></figcaption></figure><p id="a193">I have started a <a href="https://www.pinterest.fr/octogig/chronic-illness/">Pinterest board about chronic illness</a>.</p><p id="281b">Sometimes, I need the reminder that it’s not all just in my head. I have to fight my brain who still thinks I’m the 20-year-old me who could do all the things. I have to fight my brain because I am not being gentle enough with myself.</p><p id="da77">I don’t know what the point of this article is. I guess I just wanted to share why I’m not always 100%. And I want you to know, little bean ✨, that I get you if you’re chronically ill. I get the pain. I get the trauma. I get the feeling of helplessness.

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I get the weight of the looks from other people. I get the judgment they pass on us, and the judgment we pass on ourselves.</p><p id="bc2d">I suppose this is just a reminder to be gentle with ourselves.</p><p id="e8d3">This is our reality now.</p><p id="04c2">Let’s just make the best of it! 🫂</p><h1 id="051f">Hi! My name is Nathalie and I’m The Octogig. 🐙</h1><p id="1177">I write about earning passive income in the neurodivergent, chronically ill, multipotentialite way: by changing your mindset to what benefits you, working few hours, automatizing what drains you, and going with the flow.</p><p id="2813">If you like my stories on Medium, you can <a href="https://medium.com/subscribe/@octogig">subscribe here</a> to get them directly in your inbox. That way you’ll never miss one!</p><p id="c5fd">You can also support me and other authors by joining the Medium community. <a href="https://medium.com/@octogig/membership">Sign up for a membership using this link</a>. For only $5 a month, you get unlimited access to all the stories on Medium and I also get a small commission at no extra cost to you.</p><h2 id="e393">Want to earn money with your passions like me?</h2><p id="d9dc">You can find all my guides on <a href="https://octogig.com/gumroad">Gumroad</a>. They will show you how I am building my income streams, in detail, as a neurodivergent spoonie — and how you can do the same from the comfort of your home.</p><h2 id="b227">Want more of me?</h2><p id="d701">I’m most present on <a href="https://twitter.com/octogig">Twitter</a> and <a href="https://medium.com/@octogig">Medium</a>, but if you’re on other social media, or want to see what else I’m up to, <a href="https://octogig.com/my-links/">you can check out all of my links here</a>!</p><p id="0cfd">You can also subscribe to my <a href="https://octogig.com/mailing-list/">newsletter</a> where you can find out about my latest news, receive alerts for deals, and get useful content on passive income related to neurodiversity, chronic illness, multipotentiality, self-care, and mindset — once every week!</p></article></body>

CHRONIC ILLNESS | HEALTH | SELF-CARE

Some Days, I Am Too Tired to Comment…

… but I still read your articles 👀 and clap 👏

Some days, I am just tired.

I get up, and. I have no motivation whatsoever. That’s usually a big red flag for me: if I am not hyper-motivated and eager to get back to work, you can bet it’s time for me to rest and self-care!

I crawl to my computer, and I see that I have two dozen emails telling me my favorite Medium authors—the people who I consider my tribe—have published new articles.

I procrastinate on that, because I know deep inside that I don’t have the energy to give them justice. I don’t have it in me to leave meaningful comments. I should just go back to bed and rest… but I can’t.

I struggle with my chronic illness that way. I want to do things, but I am not in the best position to do them. My energy ebbs and flows, and some days I am all over the place, doing all the things, and other days everything feels like impossible tasks.

I do my bare minimum. I have tasks that I do every day, no matter what:

I track my earnings (it takes around five minutes at a leisurely pace),
I answer the comments on Medium,
and I publish a design on Amazon Merch (five minutes max, often a lot less).

If I have a little more energy than that:

I create an earnings video with the previous day’s earnings (this month, I’ve skipped multiple days, and it’s okay)
and I write an article on Medium.

Sometimes I don’t even have to energy to go check my inbox. And so I don’t read yet what my fellow authors published. And of course, even though I know better than that, I feel guilty.

After a few days like that, I have hundreds of emails in my inbox, and panic starts to rise. How am I ever going to catch up with everything?

A few times, I have just selected all and marked them as read /archived. It was too overwhelming.

Now, I have decided on a new course of action: I will read the articles whose titles grab my attention most, and at least clap and highlight them, even if I don't have the energy to comment.

As you know, I strive to leave meaningful comments, and when I am that tired they all sound stupid and meaningless. That’s probably the fatigue talking, but it feels like that nonetheless.

It is such a hardship to feel as I feel as a chronically ill person. Chronic pain and chronic fatigue take over my life with no warning, leaving me stranded for days and sometimes even weeks.

So, I am redefining what my “best” is on those days. I am redefining my standards. I will do what I can, which is going to be better than nothing. And I will make my peace with it—or at least I will try! I know in my heart that being chronically ill is nothing to be ashamed of, but it’s still a weird sort of grief I have to go through in my own way.

Being a spoonie is hard

I have started a Pinterest board about chronic illness.

Sometimes, I need the reminder that it’s not all just in my head. I have to fight my brain who still thinks I’m the 20-year-old me who could do all the things. I have to fight my brain because I am not being gentle enough with myself.

I don’t know what the point of this article is. I guess I just wanted to share why I’m not always 100%. And I want you to know, little bean ✨, that I get you if you’re chronically ill. I get the pain. I get the trauma. I get the feeling of helplessness. I get the weight of the looks from other people. I get the judgment they pass on us, and the judgment we pass on ourselves.

I suppose this is just a reminder to be gentle with ourselves.

This is our reality now.

Let’s just make the best of it! 🫂

Hi! My name is Nathalie and I’m The Octogig. 🐙

I write about earning passive income in the neurodivergent, chronically ill, multipotentialite way: by changing your mindset to what benefits you, working few hours, automatizing what drains you, and going with the flow.

If you like my stories on Medium, you can subscribe here to get them directly in your inbox. That way you’ll never miss one!

You can also support me and other authors by joining the Medium community. Sign up for a membership using this link. For only $5 a month, you get unlimited access to all the stories on Medium and I also get a small commission at no extra cost to you.

Want to earn money with your passions like me?

You can find all my guides on Gumroad. They will show you how I am building my income streams, in detail, as a neurodivergent spoonie — and how you can do the same from the comfort of your home.

Want more of me?

I’m most present on Twitter and Medium, but if you’re on other social media, or want to see what else I’m up to, you can check out all of my links here!

You can also subscribe to my newsletter where you can find out about my latest news, receive alerts for deals, and get useful content on passive income related to neurodiversity, chronic illness, multipotentiality, self-care, and mindset — once every week!