Solitude is My Haven

Are You Bad Company?

Spooktober Week 3 Prompts: Heavy on solitude

I am not a twin, so I was inside my mother’s womb alone for 9 months and though I don’t recall those months of solitude, I can only assume that I was quite content. Then, I became an only child because my parents decided that I was enough. Being an only child, many people assume that we are always lonely because we are alone. Therein lies the misconception that being alone is synonymous with loneliness.

Have you ever felt lonely in a room full of people? I know I have, therefore for me, loneliness has nothing to do with my external environment.

“If you are lonely when you’re alone, you are in bad company.” — Jean-Paul Sartre

I chuckled the first time I read this quote because there are many of us who are terrified to be alone. Does that mean we consider ourselves to be bad company? Why does solitude get such a bad rap in our society? Human beings are social creatures, and we are conditioned to function simultaneously in this chaotic world. Therefore, when someone chooses solitude, they could potentially get ridiculed or chastised for desiring to be alone.

Our society tends to shame or demonize those who decide to exist in solitude by calling them crazy or perhaps weird, but it is in solitude that we gain the most knowledge of ourselves. When we take those pauses from our everyday mundane routines, it provides a window to potentially reflect on our goals and our dreams. Solitude also creates clarity, it can raise our vibration, and provides awareness for our roles in this world.

Personally, solitude is my haven, I am heavy on solitude, and I love spending time alone in nature. It is in those moments of silence that life unveils itself. Spending time in solitude has improved my creativity, it also forced me to reconnect with my true self and helped me to discover the purpose of my human experience. It elevates my spirits, it allows me to explore my internal emotions, and examine my wellbeing.

There are highly enlightened humans who can remain in solitude for many many years, they have a higher level of understanding of their human experience. It takes discipline to remain in solitude for that length of time and one would have to detach from all external stimuli and realize that their happiness comes from deep inside.

I am not advocating for us to navigate this world in solitude because humans are typically social creatures. But how do we begin to know who we really are if we cannot fathom being alone with ourselves? Life has many unpredictable paths and detours, and we have to navigate through them with the tools that we are given. Spending time in solitude enhances those tools and it equips us with the knowledge of self to better travel and pivot on those irregular and bumpy paths in our lives.

I truly believe that once we embrace solitude and get to know ourselves and tap into who we really are, our lives would become more meaningful, and we become less dependent on our external world for validation or happiness. Solitude can become your haven as well.

This was written in response to Diana C.’s Friday Spooktober Prompt:

Thank you all for reading and thank you Diana C. for creating the space so that we all can revisit stages in our lives, tell our stories, grow, and heal. KTHT has been a rollercoaster, one that I don’t mind riding.