Solitude
The world often feels manic and the pressure that gets put on my shoulders becomes too heavy to carry. I question whether we exist to experience great suffering or whether we have to pass a few tests in order to enjoy the true beauty of the world.
It often feels like the world is out to get me and being alone and staying off my phone and shutting off from the world brings me inner peace. Reflecting back, I have always lived for others and put my own peace and happiness on pause, but this approach starts a downward spiral of unhappiness, anxiety and depression.
How can we be there for others if we are not there for ourselves?
Distancing myself from the world helps me reflect and observe myself and others; it gives me the ability to assess situations and determine how I can approach them in the future. I am learning to let go of things that have already happened to me as I cannot change them and I cannot make evil people feel remorse or guilt for what they have done to me.
Letting go gives me the power of freedom and I hope eventually, I no longer have to live with the pain that they caused because I know they will convince themselves that I was the problem. As they run from the truth and mask their lies, karma will remove their mask and show them why the truth cannot be outrun or hidden.
I do not want to match the energy of people who are cruel; I want to match the energy of nature and peace, still in the storm and free in the wind and bright like the sun. Solitude brings me home and my journal reminds me that I am never alone as I am present with my thoughts.
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