Social Media & Me

A poem about mom brain & CG dancing squirrels

twittering until my thumbs are numb, replying to @ImTooClever4you and @DontBeShyReply drop a ❤️ and

— — >retweet this to your followers?<— —

sure, add a comment… but nothing I say will be cleverer than a 12yo wannabe adult making up one-liners, smarter than this mom brain can supply

a whole different language of…

Me: says dumb thing Husband: says dumb thing Me: (sarcasm)

inviting an anonymous audience into the intimate fails of married life but why would you want to keep feeding the trolls?

or maybe you’re on the playground picking up kids from school, not paying attention to the real live show in front of you — “Mommy, look at me!” — instead, laughing at the gif of the CG dancing squirrel

think of something funny to say funny is the only thing going viral tricks work, too and stupid people doing stupid, but I still don’t know if I get how this works: can I ask for a cup of coffee on Patreon or would I be cancelled for drinking tea?

when the hell are these 280 characters going viral? only 12 ❤️s oops, forgot to put in a hashtag and 5 laugh-crying emojis in a row. I don’t know why it matters to anyone so much

DAMMIT

all the cool parents are on Tiktok now