Social Media Does Not Cause Social Anxiety
No, it doesn’t.
You must have heard it a million times already.
We are losing social connections in real life.
People are getting addicted to technology.
No one has a social life anymore. We are all slaves to technology.
No one talks to a real person in the real world anymore.
I agree to some extent but not completely. I would say it’s only half the truth.
If you ask me, I would rather say it is taking the same communication and conversations to a virtual level.
It is easy to demonize technology, that it is stealing away all the human elements from our society. Yes, I know there is change. I am not denying that but is it a negative change or just a change? That’s debatable.
What if what we are seeing is just another transition in the timeline of human existence? From one generation to another, this trend to that one, people would have always felt the old ways being forgotten for the new ones. And that’s okay. I understand that.
When you have lived your life in a certain way with certain values and principles, it is not easy to see people throw it away and adopt new ways of living.
It hurts.
But, in my opinion, that’s how it’s supposed to be. Always has been. Will keep happening.
It’s the circle of life. No one can stop it.
Also, mind that we are talking about social anxiety in specific. Anxiety, in general, can be caused by a lot of factors. In the world of anxiety, is the social anxiety, which is the prime suspect in our discussion today.
Social Media is a Tool
Social media is a tool, just like any other tool in the market. I’m not saying it is devoid of any evils but what I am saying is, social media is not a bad thing in itself.
Like any other tool, we get to choose how we use it. Whether you light a candle with a matchstick or a house is on you.
You choose whether to drop your hammer on a nail to build a treehouse or on a person to build a police case.
In fact, if you already are a socially anxious person, the use of social media may even help you rather than make your anxiety worse.
“A 2014 study showed that perceived Facebook social support may benefit people living with social anxiety symptoms.” — PsychCentral
What this means is people who felt supported by their Facebook peers felt more accepted and enjoyed using social media, as compared to those who didn’t get this support.
In my opinion, the same goes for a real life interaction as well. When a socially anxious person is among a group of people, whether that person enjoys being there or not depends on how he/she is received by that group of people.
If the anxious person feels the support and encouragement of the people present, they are more likely to enjoy the group and any conversations that follow. If not, why would they ever want to be in such a situation again?
Here is another study:
“A 2016 review of research also found that people with social anxiety who experienced social support and connectedness while using social media benefited greatly when they didn’t have offline access to these resources.”
Would you look at that!
Social media helping people? Never heard anyone quite put it that way, right? Well, when the cliché is a despised social media, you tend to go along because there is very less evidence of social media being the hero.
It simply gets easier to blame it all on social media and move on.
We require simple answers and when you have a ubiquitous paradigm of an already loathed entity, you tend not to think twice.
I don’t believe in social media but I believe in change. I know this change is inevitable, if not must. We have to be a part of this or we will be the ones ostracised and clichéd.
My Experience
I am a socially anxious person.
I have always wanted to share videos of me on Instagram talking about the unorthodox ideas I felt the world must know.
And I did. Today, I am a more confident and slightly better speaker in front of a camera. I wasn’t always like this.
I have started and stopped posting on social media I don’t know how many times. Whenever I posted, I felt like the whole world was watching me and judging me, even though I only had 180 followers, most of them my family and friends.
I thought about how stupid I looked and how funny my voice was.
When I say this, believe me, once my video was posted, I never dared to watch it again. Never. I felt embarrassed somehow.
I thought I wasn’t adding enough value or looked great or spoke well or fumbled a lot. It was always something.
I still have some of those insecurities but I no longer feel the need to judge myself as harshly as I used to. I know now that to be a better speaker, this is the only way. I must travel this path of awkwardness and self-doubt to be the confidence of tomorrow.
I wouldn’t have done it without social media.
Do you think there are people lined up outside, dying to listen to my sermons? No. You hardly get such occasions where you get to speak in front of a real audience and that too most of us won’t. Why not? Because we fear public speaking more than death.
So, where does a social awkward kid with insightful ideas go? To social media.
How not to be anxious on social media
You cannot avoid online contact.
It is the world now. People barely leave their homes. And as soon as Metaverse joins the forces, meeting online will supersede almost all outgoing plans.
From dating to office meetings, there won’t be any reason not to use social media anymore. Therefore, here are a few tips (by Psyche.co) for socially anxious peeps like me:
- Every day millions of people post online. Not all eyes are fixated on you. And if people don’t like or comment on your post, it’s not all because of you. They are also scrolling through unlimited posts.
- Take the focus away from you. It’s what I did. I stopped thinking about me and shifted my focus on what I was sharing. It helps.
- Make a conscious effort to not compare yourself with others. I have a friend who posts her perfect relationship all over Instagram but…let’s just say I know the BTS.
- Keep going at it. Let not your mind fall in the trap of overthinking. Trust me, the more you do it, the easier it gets.
Therefore, instead of focusing on what we lost with this change, let’s try to get the best out of what we gained.
Fresh perspectives and open minds. That’s what will set us free. Survival of the fittest. Those who keep dwelling as to what could be, not only lose what they had but what they could have.
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