Sober? It’s All In A Name

Summary

The article discusses evolving definitions of sobriety, contrasting traditional abstinence from alcohol with newer interpretations that allow for the use of substances like marijuana, ketamine, and magic mushrooms.

Abstract

The author, who identifies as an alcoholic with 40 years of sobriety, reflects on the changing landscape of what it means to be 'sober.' The traditional view of sobriety, which the author adheres to, involves complete abstinence from alcohol. However, a newer perspective, highlighted in a recent New York Times article, suggests that one can be 'sober' while still using certain psychoactive substances. This modern interpretation, associated with the 'California sober' movement, permits the use of marijuana, ketamine, and magic mushrooms as alternatives to alcohol for mood management. The author, who admits to having no personal experience with these substances, emphasizes the importance of kindness and acts of service as effective ways to manage pain and maintain sobriety, suggesting that these can replace the numbing effect previously provided by alcohol.

Opinions

The author believes in traditional sobriety, defined as complete abstinence from alcohol.
There is skepticism about the new 'sober' definitions that include the use of other substances.
The author values abstinence for being cost-effective and relatively painless.
The article suggests that people turn to substances to numb pain, and the author posits that acts of kindness can serve the same purpose.
The author is unfamiliar with marijuana, ketamine, and magic mushrooms but acknowledges their purported pain-numbing effects.
The author promotes the idea that aggressive kindness and activism can help maintain sobriety by reducing focus on personal pain.
There is a mention of self-kindness and the importance of finding substitute treats and activities to feel better without alcohol.
The author questions whether one can truly engage in acts of kindness while under the influence of substances, even if technically sober.
The author notes that many sober individuals attribute their continued abstinence from alcohol to choosing new, kinder paths in life.

Mushrooms . . . marijuana . . . mood management minus the martinis

I’m an alcoholic. When it comes to sobriety success stories I only know one: staying off the sauce has done it for me for 40-some years.

Suddenly I read, starting on the front page of the New York Times, a long article about shifting interpretations of the word ‘sober.’ Staying off the sauce, it seems, is old hat. The new ‘sober’ is unconcerned with smoking a little pot, or having a pinch of ketamine, or a few magic mushrooms.

The new thing is akin to the slightly old thing, ‘California sober.’ Cali sober, as it is known to its friends, evolved three or four years ago, loosely defined as staying off the sauce but enjoying a little marijuana.

Total disclosure: I know absolutely nothing about marijuana (too terrified ever to try it) or ketamine (actually never heard of it until this article.) My knowledge of mushrooms is essentially limited to chanterelles sautéd in olive oil over linguini (the best of dinners.)

What I do know about is (a) abstinence, which is cheap and painless — and (b) kindness.

I also know why people choose non-abstinence: out of a need to numb the pain. Alcohol is great for numbing pain. So is marijuana, and if you can believe all available internet sources, ketamine leaves everything else in the shade. Wikipedia says it is a “safer anesthetic with fewer hallucinogenic effects.”

So… in the new understanding of the word, you can be sober while otherwise anesthetized? Whatever.

But back to the kindness issue. I think it’s easy to stay sober — especially if one uses the old totally-off-the-sauce definition — through simultaneous kindness.

Stay with me on this. If one has been numbing the pain, with whatever chosen substance, it is possible to replace the numbing agent with acts of kindness. This means that instead of a hole in the day left by removal of the chosen substance, a little aggressive kindness replaces that numbing agent. (Yes, it is possible to be aggressively kind. As in get-out-the-vote activism.)

If, for instance, one is working at a soup kitchen, or mowing the elderly neighbor’s lawn, the time left for focusing on the pain that needed numbing exponentially decreases.

I hasten to add that there’s nothing wrong with being kind to oneself. In the olden days, when ‘sober’ meant ‘sober,’ much was made about substitute treats. Finding other good things to drink and good things in general to make one feel better.

I’ve no idea whether or not one can indulge in acts of kindness when numbed — though technically sober — by mushrooms or ketamine or whatever. But I do know a lot of sober (‘recovering’) alcoholics who swear they stay off the sauce by simply focusing on new and kinder paths they chose.

Activism and salted caramels work for me.