Soapy Safari, A Slippery Slope

Humankind has come a long way Since the jungle — to Civilization, and comedy. Take claw-foot furniture, for instance. Those menacing legs are About as far from a Savage, toothy beast As a shower is From the Savannah. These days, you’ll see More clawed feet in bathrooms Than in nature. Each toe works in harmony, Mere inches from Our naked, vulnerable asses — Not to pull them to some Gaping maw, mind you — But to hold bathwater That we draw, Into it, and us in it. People purchase these parodies Of prowling apex predators now, Relegated from leaping and bounding To being the Atlas Of mundane morning routine.