Modern Life Rants

So You’ve Just Bought an E-Bike — Why?

Why electric bicycles are just a tedious fad

The push-bike or pedal cycle was conceived in Germany in the early part of the 19th century when Baron Karl von Drais, a civil servant, invented his Laufmaschine (German for “running machine”) in 1817. It was made of metal and wood and was propelled by the feet.

I’m not going to go into the history of the bicycle — you can read it on Wikipedia. All I’ll say is that from this clumsy invention, and 150 years of painfully slow progress, we ended up with the ultimate racing machine, below.

This is a 1967 Peugeot PX10 I picked up for €10 at a flea market in Cahors. What a gorgeous specimen. And the same model of bike used by Eddie Merckx on the 1969 Tour de France. Eddie Merckx being the greatest cyclist ever to sit on a bicycle.

Here’s a picture of him riding one from an old Dutch cycle catalogue.

Bicycles have come a long way since the Laufmaschine of 1817, and they more or less cracked it. With lighter and lighter frames, and better technology there was really nowhere else to go. It was the perfect, eco-friendly mode of transport that required nothing more than a pair of legs.

Then some idiot put a battery in it.

E-bikes have in fact been around since the late 19th century, when Ogden Bolton Jr patented the first electric bicycle. Throughout the 20th century, designers and inventors messed around with the concept. But they were never commercially viable as they were exceedingly heavy and expensive.

Furthermore, there wasn’t much need for them. People enjoyed cycling to get around and to keep healthy. Plus they enjoyed being free from modern technology, and able to go long distances without worrying about refuelling.

Put simply, the freedom of the road was a big pull.

The Modern Electric Bicycle

The Laufmaschine had its faults for sure, but at least it had some charm. I don’t know about you, but the E-bike above is the vilest thing I’ve ever seen. Remember the phrase, “Freedom of the road.” Now look again at that bicycle above. I don’t see any freedom there. I see a clunking mess.

They claim to be good for the environment. But just like E-Cars, I’m not convinced. There’s a lot of battery and metal in these bikes. Stuff that has to be manufactured from scratch when there’s a million old bikes that could be used and recycled. Like my old PX10.

Are they good for you? That’s also debatable.

The health benefits of cycling 10 km on the flat on an e-bike are minimal. You might take a breath when you have to pick it up to turn it around. But apart from that, you’re not going to win any races.

Are you serious?

Yes. I am.

If you’re aged between 10 and 40 and are in reasonable health and aren’t disabled (I’ll come to that), I can’t really understand why you need an E-bike.

Cycling gets you fit. It’s a fact. Riding an e-bike, only gets you half fit. So why bother? If you want to get fit, get out your push-bike. You’ll get fitter in a fraction of the time.

Exceptions

So this is my disclaimer. You might be reading this and think I’m a trumped-up little shit! “How dare you? I’m 70 years old, I’ve just had a hip replacement, and the e-bike has saved my life. Now I’m able to get out on the bike, when before I couldn’t.”

Then I applaud you, sir! The electric bike was clearly made and designed for you. And they are a brilliant invention for people who can’t cycle any more. Or who are disabled, or have some medical problem that makes traditional cycling too hard.

It’s when I see perfectly healthy young people, maybe with families, riding along a flat road on very expensive e-bikes, that I ask why?

Why are you doing this?

You’re NOT saving the planet. You’re NOT getting fit. And you’re certainly NOT fooling anyone apart from yourselves.

So get yourself on something like this. You’ll go faster. Plus you’ll look so much cooler!

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