So You Want to be More “ZEN”?

Six comforting reflections on meditation from a mindfulness amateur.

I’ve written previously about alternatives to traditional meditation, as the whole sitting still and clearing your mind thing never really worked out for me. However, since most of us now find ourselves stuck at home, with the threat of health anxiety and current affairs fatigue snapping at our heels and with more time alone for self-discovery then we usually have — I figured now is a good time to really give the original kind of meditation another shot.

“Make your own well-being the start of global wellness.” — DEEPAK CHOPRA

After 3 weeks, I feel compelled to share some lasting lessons that I learned during this (third?) eye-opening process — and encourage you to also consider taking up a simple meditation ritual as an anxiety-melting and mind-nourishing practice.

Here are a few key reflections to get your mindfulness ball rolling:

1. Have gratitude for the abundance around you

Abundance, as a spiritual term, refers to life in its abounding fullness of joy and strength for mind, body, and soul. To live an abundant life signifies a contrast to the feelings of emptiness or dissatisfaction many of us constantly grapple with.

“Abundance comes from within; It comes from thought, intention, attention, and expectation.” — Deepak Chopra

Try to acknowledge the abundance in your life each day — either silently during meditation, or by physically writing out your thanks in a gratitude journal. Just this simple act of recognizing what you have an abundance of in your life — whether that’s health, love, friendship, or creativity — is a transformative way to maintain a grateful, content, and overall positive mindset. Regardless of any negativity you are currently facing.

2. To take, you must first give

Think about it — in nature, every single organism, from your own skin or blood cells, to the animals and plants holding up the earth’s countless intricate ecosystems. The natural world, at every scale, has a give-and-take balance that keeps it ticking. Everything around us is in constant motion, simultaneously giving and taking from the surrounding elements.

And so, as human beings, we also exist and thrive on movement, interaction, and exchange. As much as we may not feel it as much in a world of technology, motorways, and apartment blocks — meaning there are more steps between natural resources and our uses for them — we remain as dependent on our surroundings as the animals in a jungle. Not only for the obvious reasons of food, water, and oxygen — but also for more abstract needs such as love, connection, and mental stimulation.

As humans, we have the egocentric tendency to forget that we, too, are a part of the universe. We don’t exist as static entities.

As such, if you want to experience more joy, try making more of an effort to inspire joy in others. If you want to receive more love and compassion, then offer those to the people around you as a starting point. And if you pursue professional or material success, then support the success and genuinely celebrate the achievements of others. If you give out negativity to your surroundings: hate, resentment, or bitterness — then this is what you will get back in return.

Abundance is in constant flux: what you give out, you will receive.

3. Everything you need is within you

In this materialistic and appearance-obsessed world, we constantly seek happiness and fulfillment from outside ourselves.

“If I earned that much, I’d be happy.”

“If I had that body, I’d be happy.”

“If I lived there, I’d be happy.”

“If I had a girlfriend/ boyfriend, I’d be happy.”

Sound familiar?

What if I told you that everything you actually need for fulfillment is already within you? And that no material possession, physical feature, or status upgrade will truly change how we feel about ourselves, or the baseline contentment we all have.

Sure, they may give us a temporary ego boost, but every single thing that brings superficial joy quickly becomes stale — you soon crave something more. Very quickly, those same achievements that once had us brimming with pride aren’t enough; We lose interest in what we already have and look towards the next milestone. You need an even higher grade, a promotion, or a pay rise, or a new love interest in order to maintain that high. If you retrain yourself to feel content and at peace with whatever you have right now — even If you acknowledge room for improvement and (rightly) still have motivation for self-development.

Once you stop punishing yourself for your present reality, your goals actually seem a lot easier to achieve — as you know you’ll be happy either way, but simply want to keep challenging and stimulating yourself. Similarly, setbacks will take less of a toll on your emotions or self-esteem, as this strengthened and stabilized baseline of contentment will not be so easily shaken.

4. Own your thoughts and emotions

As discussed in my previous article on the power of positive thinking, true freedom and contentment follow the realization no one can affect what goes on inside you. This means that you have a level of control over your emotional reactions. Although you can’t always control what goes on outside of yourself, you have full authority over what happens within, and how you let it get to you.

For instance, if something objectively sad happens, although I am not suggesting that you become an unfeeling robot, you have some flexibility to choose in what way you respond to the tragedy. Do you wallow and isolate yourself? Do you become enraged and lash out?

Whatever reaction you may feel compelled to take, there is no absolute right or wrong option — although some are more harmful and less constructive than others. As long as you are aware that this is your decision and take a degree of control over your emotions, you will feel mentally stronger and more grounded to yourself.

5. A short meditation a day can transform your wellbeing

From general relaxation, to clearing the mind and separating yourself from the distractions and worries of daily life — whatever your personal motivations to experiment with meditation, it can work wonders for your ability to reconnect with yourself and your senses, and to encourage your mind to stop its incessant whirring for just a moment.

To close the tabs. To pause, and reboot. Our minds are under constant strain — both when we’re awake and during sleep.

And so, if we don’t take at least a little time out each day to allow it to rest, then like a computer it can eventually break down or burn out. Just as you take care of your skin, hair, or digestion, you must also take care of your mind. Invest time and effort into keeping it at its best. It is your most valuable possession and your only window to the world.

6. There are no rules for meditation

The main takeaway from all of this is that the most successful way to meditate is to do so without self-criticism. It doesn’t matter how you’re sitting, or if you’re lying down. You could do it in the bath, or when you’re in bed ready to fall asleep or about to get up. It really depends on you, how you feel most relaxed and comfortable, and when you can get the most out of the practice.

It doesn’t matter if rogue thoughts enter your head, either. You haven’t failed. The more you stress about having a clear mind or focusing on one thing specifically, the more these intrusive thoughts threaten our inner calm and distract us.

Wherever you are, simply allow your thought processes flow naturally while gently guiding them towards the key mantra or focus of your practice (one of the first 4 points above would be a good starting point), and encourage all other chatter in the back of your mind to at least quieten into a soft hum.

Then just wait and see what happens, I guess!

Roxanna is a British-Iranian content writer specialised in human rights, health, and welfare. With a languages degree from King’s College London, a Masters in European Studies from LSE, and an EU communications background, she strives to increase the visibility and encourage debate around ethical and sociocultural issues around the world. http://roxannaazimy.com Twitter/ Instagram: @roxannayasmin